16, Pregnant Parental Permission to move out.

[TashaMarie143]

What is the name of your state? Ohio
Hello, im tasha and iam 16 years old my birthday is in mid-november a pregnancy test form a near by "help" facility confirmed my pregnancy last wednesday. I'am approx. 6 weeks or so and my last period was Sept 9...


Right now, iam currently struggling. I live in ohio so there are no emancipation laws, only choice is marriage or armed forces, i know. But my boyfriend doesnt want to marry me cuz he says he's to young. and i cant apply for healthy start, welfare, or wic because it would have to get proccessed through my mom and it is said her husband "makes to much" to get accepted for it.. It's my responsiblity not my moms i know this and i wanted to know how i can go about getting help financially.. i know iam not supposed to live on my own but i chose to go with my boyfriend because i wanted to be with him... my mom is helpful and everything but i cannot afford to even eat and iam scared the baby is going to be a misscarriage if i do not eat enough.. i need to know what i can do to help myself financially so i can make sure my baby is alive and healthy...

 

[AHA]

If you or your parents can't provide for a baby, then maybe you should end the pregnancy.
You need to get an education and avoid welfare. Your bf obviously doesn't want any part of this, so he might not be very reliable for financial support and your parents can't afford food now, much less when there's one more mouth to feed. All of that makes for a very very bad start of a baby's life. You want better for your future kids don't you?
You have other options to avoid the above, such as abortion or adoption. You always have options.

 

[TashaMarie143]

whoa

should of guessed a reply like that was going to come.. i guess i have to explain my WHOLE SELF... I THINK ITS MY RESPONSIBILITY NOT HERS that is why iam looking into help. I'm homeschooled and gradutaing before the baby's here.. and thats a year before i should have.. I also think that iam a good person because i would never choose abortion thank you very much thats wrong and iam really against that. As for adoption NO iam not living my life wondering how my kid was raised who there with and what there doing. I'a done on here.. this board is pointless all you people do is make rude comments rather then help anyone out.

 

[stealth2]

The problem is..... you're already saying you can't take care of this child - and s/he isn't even born yet. That's a problem. You have a father-to-be that doesn't want to step up to the plate, tho he was more than happy to help create the situation. That's another problem. You don't want to let Mom help, but you also can't get any sort of state aid. Problem #3.

Just what is it you want people to tell you? You can't take care of the kid, yet you don't want to provide him/her a decent future with someone who can.

 

[OhBullship]

As for adoption NO iam not living my life wondering how my kid was raised who there with and what there doing. I'a done on here.. this board is pointless all you people do is make rude comments rather then help anyone out.

Adoption does not have to be that way. If you are going to fly off the handle when strangers try to help you, what are you going to do at 3:00 in the morning when you have an upset baby and you have to be at work by 8:00? How will it feel to be living in that situation when your friends have gone off to college and are enjoying themselves? That just might include the child's father. While they are preparing themselves for a good future, you will be slaving away to buy diapers, if you can even afford diapers after paying for child care.

If you care about giving the child a healthy start and a decent shot at life, you really should talk with an adoption agency. While you are expecting, they will help with medical care, food and expenses.

Being an adult means that you have to make difficult choices. Being a parent means you have to put the needs of your child before your own. Logic dictates that if you are pregnant and cannot afford to eat healthy now, it isn't very likely you will be able to care for yourself and a child a few months from now.

If you really feel you are mature enough to live on your own then you are going to have to be mature enough to behave as an adult. As an adult, you are going to have to be able to look at your situation objectively and make the decisions based in reality. Any young woman in your situation who would not consider adoption, in my opinion, lacks the maturity to actually care for the child. It isn't about you any more.

 

[AHA]

You want to move out, but how are you going to support yourself and your baby? How are you going to pay the hospital bills for the delivery and all the stuff a baby needs? Abortion is wrong, but bringing a baby into a life without food even is right?
You only got 1 response before you started dissing everybody on this board, that's was me pointing out the facts in your situation and listing the options you have and you didn't like the options. Like stealth2 said, what did you expect people were going to advice you to do?
If there was an easy way for pregnant single teens to move out, have a baby and get every bill paid and get a ton of cash in the pocket for doing nothing, then you would have been swarmed by posts telling you how to get that.
You'll have to get a job and save up enough to support yourself and the baby until you can go back to work after the birth (and afford childcare), fight the father for child support and make sure you finish your education so you can get a well paid job to provide for that child for the next couple of decades. Not any more attractive options than the ones listed earlier, but there are no magical, easy, effortless solutions to your situation, so you have to grow up really fast and make some haard decisions and depending on them, pull your sleeves up and start seriously improving your life for the sake of the baby's well being.

 

[OhBullship]

Click Here and call the number flashing on the top of the screen. This is a pro-life organization, but not an adoption agency.

 

[OhBullship]

Oops, the other link was for Minnesota. I think it must be past my bedtime

Try this link for Ohio.

 

[TashaMarie143]

misunderstood

I DO LIVE ON MY OWN... who ever said that dad isnt involved? He works and goes to school.. i came here to ask if anyone knew of any of the legal issue's or anything that has to do with help such as healthy start and that and how to go about getting it.. and i wantedt to know if anyone knew anything about emancipation type things. I think its really messed up for you to go about and judge him when i never said anything about him.. it has nothing to do with him and is basically about me trying to be a good mom and get things together.. i want to beable to get that fnancial support because i know i can support it when it comes to other things. you don't know me, i needed some questions answered not people telling me what they think i can and cannot do...or to tell me what to do with my baby. Simply to find out if anyone knew anything about financial help.

 

[OhBullship]

Do you have ANY idea how much children cost? Go and price a package of diapers. If you cannot afford to eat healthy right now, then how the hell are you going to afford to care for a newborn?

I gave you a link for a nonprofit organization that will help you with the things you need. They are not an adoption agency, but they will get you food and some of the other assistance you need.

Now, you really do need to understand this: Life as you know it is over no matter what you do from now on. You are telling us that we don't know you and I can only agree with that. What we do know is that you posted on the internet, stating that you cannot afford to feed yourself healthy food, and you do not qualify for help. It is normal for people to worry about children being born in those circumstances, especially when there is no need for them to be. I don't care about how grown up you believe you are, if you cannot afford food, you cannot afford children. I'm allowed to be repulsed by a child who tries to raise a child in those circumstances.

When you became pregnant something became more important than you. That is the first lesson in being a parent! That baby cannot make decisions for itself, so the parent HAS to be mature enough to make good decisions. You don't get to be a child any more, those days are over. Your life is now going to be centered around the needs of a child. If you cannot even handle strangers pointing that out to you, then how are you going to handle the reality of it when it hits you like a load of bricks?

I think its really messed up for you to go about and judge him when i never said anything about him.. it has nothing to do with him and is basically about me trying to be a good mom and get things together

Has it occurred to you that your situation isn't exactly unique? This is not the first time that a child has romanticized the idea of parenting. Right now your sweetie might be doing everything possible to help you, but guess what? He can walk away from it at any time, and there will not be a hell of a lot you can do about it. That happens every day to girls just like you. If you cannot afford to feed yourself right now, with his help, how are you going to look out for the needs of a baby if he does walk? How are you even if he doesn't? It is very common for teenaged boys to find out how difficult parenting is, then walk away from it.

 

[nextwife]

Hewre is an example of just a few expenses our child incurred the first four years:

The typical diapers, food, clothes, shelter, utilities and transportation to doctors, lots of laundry etc.

Antibiotics for repeated ear infections. ADD ($75/mo) meds starting at age 5 so she can "attend" and learn instead of bouncing off the walls, so to speak.

Several minor surgeries- two corrective for strabismus, two for ear tubes, and an adenoidectomy. Plus multiple audiology tests, speech therapy, physical therapy for fine motor skill delays, visits to a pediatric opthamologist, pediatric ENT, and her pediatrician. And transportation to all and the flexibilty to have time off work to go to these doctors in the middle of the day.

Also, Day care, because I'm not rich enough yet to sit around at home during the day.

PLan on a child costing a lot of money- if you need to do whatever is necessary for their future.

T-Ball and appropriate clothes at age 4, swim lessons starting at 4

 

[djohnson]

As adults, we all understand what you are saying, but also have the knowledge to know it is all wrong. You are learning that the hard way. If this baby's father is so great then why won't her marry you to get you emancipated? I don't care what he tells you, it's because he doesn't want to be tied down to whining wife and baby. He isn't old enough to be responsible and neither are you. I am not pro choice, neither am I pro life. I beleive every situation is different and there is no cut and dry answer that will everyone. The same goes with you. Just because your the millionth teenager to get pregnant this month, doesn't mean what is right for everyone else is right for you. We are making judgments based on the information that you have provided. Your own statements make it clear that you nor the father is prepared to raise this child. I see that basically you are asking for a way to cheat the system (our tax dollars) out of everything you can get , them mommy is going to help you out to make everything great. Realize how many teens have been there and what that will lead to down the road. It still won't make you independant, it still won't make you a good parent, and it still won't mean it will last forever. Someone like you is an easy target to get custody taken away from. You can't support this child on your own. The father can try to take it, either set of grandparents that 'raises' the child will fight you for it, because you weren't smart enough to make yourself any better than shacking up with a deadbeat that doesn't want to take responsibility in a torn down trailer somewhere eating ramen noodles to get by. That will work until DHS comes and takes the baby and puts it in foster home after foster home. What a good life you are going to give this child by doing it your way.