17 yr old being threatened for rape charges

[missymusic]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

My son and a friend of his are 17. They were in his friends car with his friends girl friend. The friend actually had sex with the girl who is also a minor. Then they talked about my son joining in TO HAVE Penatrating sex. He said no. The girl also didn't say no she said what ever and oral sex happened with my minor son and the minor girl. NO PENETRATION. Afterwords he said she liked it and she never said stop. My son and I can talk about anything and I know when he is telling the truth, even his friend said the girl said whatever and not no or stop. Almost 2 weeks have gone by since the one time incident (no drugs where involved or violence) and now the parents are telling their daughter that they want to go after my son for rape. Not the boyfriend that actually had sex with her all the way. My son does not stalk her or having anything to do with her. The girl is claiming she was worried if she didn't then my son wouldn't be her friend. My son mom that is crap and I wouldn't do that if she didn't want me to. He wishes he never did it at all. He is still a virgin and has a girl friend of his own. I know they are virgins because myself and the other mom are very strict with dating. I was surprised this even happened with his friend. My son also heard from the girls friend that the parents have someone after my son and her boyfriend. But again this is from kids of course. Should I be worried? If the parents do have someone watching my son, that is stalking and illegal. And rape, I don't think so. She went through with it and why 2 weeks later her parents decide to get mad, I understand the mom at first kind of laughed about it. I am a female that has been in those situations and I know you can say no and walk away unless you are really violently pressured, then it's rape. My son said she never cried or said stop and she was seeming like she was having fun too. I know him and he is more shy then aggressive. Please help, he is scared he is going to get accused of date rape.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

He is still a virgin

You have GOT to be kidding or seriously deluded. Your little virgin is NOT one.

...and has a girl friend of his own.

Not for long.

Now, since nothing in your post was factually relevant to the incident, how about some facts and leave the emotion where it belongs, behind closed doors.

For example, how old is the girl?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you heard they are taking the word "gullible" out of the dictonary?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Have you heard they are taking the word "gillible" out of the dictonary?

No, but they are taking "Gullible" out

 

[rmet4nzkx]

No, but they are taking "Gullible" out

Thanks, it was a real typo "i" and "u" are next to each other

 

[missymusic]

I am serious about his virginity

The reason I know he is, is because his girl friends mom is something out of the carrie movie. What I am saying is her daughter is under lock and key most of the time.. sad really. They have never been allowed to date, ever in 6 months they have been going out. She is always with them except at school and neither one of them drive yet and his friend doesn't have a car at school. they each wear purity rings and see each other only in youth groups and again, her mom is there basically holding their hands. I am not stupid but in this case since her mom won't let the girl even come to my house for what ever reason, I am sure he is a virgin. between school and work he isn't home to have girls around or be with them. I know at 17 that is pretty hard to imagine and I don't have rose colored glasses on. You don't know the situation so please don't say I am guliable to think he is a virgin. Sadly he is still into his video games and stuff and like I said to busy to be alone with a girl anyway. He and his girl friend are very serious about staying pure, he even feels bad that he let he best friend peer pressure him into oral with his friends girl friend... if anything I think the guy friend is in the wrong for instigating it.. my son felt horrible later because he loves his girl friend. I think it was a guy thing.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

The reason I know he is, is because his girl friends mom is something out of the carrie movie. What I am saying is her daughter is under lock and key most of the time.. sad really. They have never been allowed to date, ever in 6 months they have been going out. She is always with them except at school and neither one of them drive yet and his friend doesn't have a car at school. they each wear purity rings and see each other only in youth groups and again, her mom is there basically holding their hands. I am not stupid but in this case since her mom won't let the girl even come to my house for what ever reason, I am sure he is a virgin. between school and work he isn't home to have girls around or be with them. I know at 17 that is pretty hard to imagine and I don't have rose colored glasses on. You don't know the situation so please don't say I am guliable to think he is a virgin. Sadly he is still into his video games and stuff and like I said to busy to be alone with a girl anyway. He and his girl friend are very serious about staying pure, he even feels bad that he let he best friend peer pressure him into oral with his friends girl friend... if anything I think the guy friend is in the wrong for instigating it.. my son felt horrible later because he loves his girl friend. I think it was a guy thing.

Lady, you are either the biggest idiot we've ever had here or just deluded. So WHAT if he and his girlfriend are pure to each other. He had sex with another girl so his virginship has expired.

As to your son feeling 'horrible' later because he loves his girlfriend, isn't that sweet. I bet he wasn't feeling horrible about 3 seconds before she "FINISHED"

Now, are you going to pull your head out of the hole and answer my questions or not?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

That defense didn't work for Clinton, PLease your son has has ORAL SEX he is no longer a virgin. Penetration is not required for sexual contact. Purity ring or not, your son is NOT a virgin, and given the discription of his girsfriends mother his relationship with his girlfriend will end once the word leaks out. Perhaps your son is wearing the purity ring on the wrong appendage?
167.002 Definitions for ORS 167.002 to 167.027. As used in ORS 167.002 to 167.027, unless the context requires otherwise:

(4) “Sexual conduct” means sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse. (This would include ORAL)

(5) “Sexual contact” means any touching of the sexual organs or other intimate parts of a person not married to the actor for the purpose of arousing or gratifying the sexual desire of either party. [1971 c.743 §249; 1973 c.699 §5]

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Another nomination for next year's contest

 

[HomeGuru]

I nominate this writer for Queen of denial.

 

[missymusic]

I am not stupid

This was no help.. the virginity part is not my question. I meant the virginity part in terms of actual penetration. I am not saying he is a saint that isn't in question. You are stupid for getting hung up on thinking I am in left field. I thought I was getting help from a real legal point of view. Not the president crap and all. I asked if he could get charged for rape. That is what I asked. You don't know me so please stop getting so hung up on the fact you think I am stupid and that I think he is a saint. I don't think that. OK. The friends girl friend is a slut no doubt and she is 16. She didn't say no and yes his girl friend does no about this and they are still together. He has learned his lesson I HOPE. So don't slam me on that either. I am a cops kid (yes the worst kind.. I'm ready for that) but I also have seen and experienced a lot and wasn't a saint at his age either. I do believe you can work through these things and he and his girl friend are doing just that. Again this is not about his virginity.. gawd I should have known I can't be a person in need of some real advice without being put down. How can you do that when you don't know me or the real situation. DUH I am not stupid, I am around teens all the time and certainly wasn't a virgin when I got married. I have helped many troubled teens and sat with them to keep them from suicide. So please I am asking for honest opinions about this situation and not how stupid I may or not be or how horrible my son may or not be. Ask yourself can you really say you have never ever in your childhood been faced with a hey come on it's cool... kind of pressure? We all have been. When your with the guys and they are all in the moment and cool, even the strongest saint tends to be easily tempted especially a teen. We know it's not considered good manners to swear either, but it's easy to do at times even when you don't mean too. The point I am trying to make here is he made a mistake and no one is denying that. He knows what the purity ring stands for and the guilt ate him up. It doesn't mean he will do it again. I can't answer that. I do know that he said it was almost like his guy friend (who is very pushy) ones really kind of putting the be a man pressure and you must be gay if you resist teasing on him. He said he wished he didn't cave in, and was friends with that girl and he said he kept asking if this is ok with her... so technically as I said I think the other guy was the one kind of pushing them both to not think clear. We all make mistakes no one out there can say they haven't. So I am asking please keeping your personal opinions aside on how stupid and whatever my son and I are, someone please give me what could really happen in terms of the law. that is what I am asking. Let me deal with the mistake part with my son and how not to fall into pressure again. Thanks

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You want to know why the virginity thing was such an issue? Because if YOU don't know the difference, how do you expect your SON to know the difference between yes and no?

Lady, you have some very serious issues that it seems are going to end up causing problems for your son.

And one of those issues is the question I am STILL waiting to be answered.

HOW OLD IS THE GIRL?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

In post #2 you were asked her age, information needed to answer your question and informed everything else stated was not relevant, you have finally given us her age. I cited the law to you.
No, he cannot be charged with rape, however he can be charged with other assult and sex related charges if her parents and or the authorties wish to pursue, something you shoulld already know as a child of a cop.
The rest of your posts were proof of the comments made.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

No, he cannot be charged with rape

Really? Want to bet?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You want to know why the virginity thing was such an issue? Because if YOU don't know the difference, how do you expect your SON to know the difference between yes and no?

Lady, you have some very serious issues that it seems are going to end up causing problems for your son.

And one of those issues is the question I am STILL waiting to be answered.

HOW OLD IS THE GIRL?

Hidden in the text was her age - 16
I agree they all have big problems