1st time to juvenile court

[teensdad]

What is the name of your state? Connecticut

My 14 year old daughter has been living with me for the past year because her mother's boyfriend is abusive towards her. It seems no matter where she lives though she gets in trouble with her friends. Three times this summer with the police all for stupid things. This time she and her friends had knives in their purses and one idiot was throwing knives at a telephone pole when the cops drove by which prompted them to stop and search them all. Now I have to take her to court. I have no idea what to expect. I was never in trouble when I was young. I'm doing my best as a single parent but I'm nearing the end of my rope. She's not a bad kid, she just makes stupid judgement calls sometimes. Any advice/info is greatly appreciated/ what to expect?

 

[teensdad]

I am seeing online that usually when you go into these courts you meet with a juvenile officer first who decides if the case will be heard or not? Does anybody know if this is the case?

 

[CdwJava]

What she can expect really depends on the specific charges she faces.

But, if I may, as a parent myself, it sounds to me like you need to nix her friends - and, perhaps, restrict her activity. If she had three contacts with the police over the summer then there IS a problem here. And it's not just her friends. Your daughter may not have the ability to say 'no' to their group activities, or she may even truly be one of the group ... she could very well be headed down a self-destructive path. It's time to take some control and establish those all-important boundaries.

The alternative is she becomes lost to the street.

I've seen it too many times, and it's never a pleasant thing.

Carl

 

[dequeendistress]

Reaffirm who the parent and who the child is.

It looks like juvenile probation officers are in your and your daughters future. Remember also, YOU can be held accountable for her actions.

 

[teensdad]

All of her incidents were due to the fact that she was near another group of kids. One incident happened when a kid was lighting a piece of paper in the street. She was sitting on some steps talking on a cell phone, not even involved. When the cops get there though, everybody is in trouble. Same thing with some kids argument with another group of kids. She was just visiting. Always in the wrong place. Yeah I need to limit the friends, but she isn't a bad kid, just not too much common sense at 14.

 

[dequeendistress]

Was she in possession of a knife concealed in her purse as well? How long was the blade?

 

[teensdad]

Yes she also had a knife in her purse. Replica's of hunting knives, the kind with the compass in the handle. She had this idea that if they came upon these kids again they could intimidate them. Her friend's parents took the kid to the police station to file a complaint against the kids that beat her up, something they should have done in the first place. My original question is that is there a juvenile officer of some kind in the court house that hears this stuff first? If so I think we will be ok in the end. Kids just used some bad judgement on how to handle a situation.

 

[stealth2]

All of her incidents were due to the fact that she was near another group of kids. One incident happened when a kid was lighting a piece of paper in the street. She was sitting on some steps talking on a cell phone, not even involved. When the cops get there though, everybody is in trouble. Same thing with some kids argument with another group of kids. She was just visiting. Always in the wrong place. Yeah I need to limit the friends, but she isn't a bad kid, just not too much common sense at 14.

How much of this is what you know for a fact, and how much is what she's telling you? I'm betting she's not as innocent as she'd like for you to think. Once in the wrong place at the wrong time is plausible. Three times? She's more than in the wrong place - she's likely involved more than just a lack of common sense.

If this were my child, I would be spending some time and money talking to a lawyer about the legal aspects, and clamping down on my kid.

 

[stealth2]

It seems no matter where she lives though she gets in trouble with her friends. Three times this summer with the police all for stupid things.

And what about before this summer? What sort of trouble has she been in living elsewhere? And how often?

 

[dequeendistress]

Someone correct me if I am wrong!

The Judge will order the child's case to the probation officer. There will be an answer provided by the defendant in court proceedings.

 

[teensdad]

She has not been in trouble at all before this summer. The first two incidents the police told me she was not directly involved but hanging out with these kids and they wanted me to know about it. I was there for every incident. I am just trying to find out if i meet with a juvenile officer when I walk in the building or sit and wait for a judge or what happens. This is not a regular visit for me. I don't have a history of troubled kids. Just trying to find out the procedure here. By trouble in the past I meant taking on habits of other kids, coming home late and stuff like that. Nothing police related. Believe me she has been cut down a few notches after this incident.

 

[dequeendistress]

The police TOLD you because, they believe there is trouble now and more ahead.

Procedure will really not matter, the ball is in motion, IT is WHAT you and her do from now on that will MATTER. I really do not see you getting out of seeing the judge, sorry.

 

[stealth2]

Like I said - if this were my kid, I would be talking to a lawyer. Much as I hate to say it - the cops are not your friends, and they're not doing you any favors. A local lawyer will be able to tell you exactly what your kid is up against, and how things are likely to go.

Realistically speaking, y'all are walking a very fine line right now. She's living with you because her stepfather is abusive. Not good. But while living with you, she's getting herself involved with a bad crowd and involved with the police. Not good either.

 

[dequeendistress]

Boot camp and foster care is a possible outcome if this behavorial habit does not
turn around

 

[teensdad]

I am really amazed at all the "experts" on this board, telling me my kid isn't telling me the truth, how I should deal with her, boot camp? Give me a break.
I know where she is because I pick her up every day. I'm in contact with her all the time. The cops in my town stop kids constantly just for walking down the street in groups of more than two. My question was what is the procedure when I walk in the door of the court house and none of the "experts" with thousands of posts under their belts can seem to simply answer the question without telling me what I should do with this problem child. I guess when I go through it I'll post the FACTS on this board when I am done.