The house is worth $160,000 on the balance sheet but may sell for less, probably $130,000. There has been little maintenance. Mortgage is $53,000 (6 years left) and home equity revolving inline of credit with a balance of $14,000. Current taxes are $2200 / yr and insurance is $1,000 yr.
What are the benifits of paying off some of the debit before a settlement? Wife's total retirement assets (in her name) are $140,000 and the husbands total retirement assets (in his name) are $350,000
Normally paying off marital debt, by taking on other debt, really doesn't help. However, in your case I could see some possible benefit.
If wife is going to keep the home she needs to be able to refinance it into her own name. While the house has a lot of equity, if she has to refinance for enough to buy out your share, and has 50k of debt already in her name, its highly unlikely that she would qualify, even including alimony payments.
So...that leaves you some negotiating room. You have 350k in retirement assets to her 140k. Normally that would mean that you would have to give her half of the difference between your two accounts, or 1/2 of 210k or 105k. You could negotiate that you would take on her 50k of debt, and forego your share of equity in the home, if she foregoes her share of your retirement account. If FMV of the house is 130k minus the 53k mortgage balance that is 77k in equity and half of that is 38.5k. Half of the marital debt is 35k, so you would be giving up 73.5k in her half of the debt and home equity, in exchange for keeping 105k of your retirement account. (assuming she agrees) If you point out to her that she would have to pay taxes on her share of your retirement account if she uses it to pay debt instead of rolling it over into an IRA of her own, that could be quite attractive to her.
The value of that is that she would likely qualify for a mortgage for 53k plus closing costs, would end up with a much lower mortgage payment, and therefore would need less spousal support. The additional upside is that you would definitely get off the mortgage and wouldn't have to worry about her having a negative effect on your credit if she has problems paying the mortgage.
The downside to that is that you would end up with a much higher debt load, (401k loan) which might making paying less alimony a moot point. The other downside is that your child support might increase as she would have less income to include in the calculation if she receives less alimony. However, you would have to come up with some money anyway for your share of the marital debt.
That illustrates some of the complications of a marital debt/asset settlement as well as alimony/child support issues. You either have to work out the numbers as clearly as possible before you start negotiating, or you have to bite the bullet, sell the house, split each retirement account, split the marital debts and let the court decide child support and alimony.
I just realized that I forgot the 14k home equity loan, that throws the numbers off. That increases the amount she would have to finance, and lowers the equity in the home.