The IRS very strictly regulates 401k's because of their pre-tax status. IF AND ONLY IF your plan document permits hardship withdrawals (not all do; nor are they required to) you can take a hardship withdrawal ONLY in the following circumstances:
1.) For the purchase of your primary residence
2.) For payment of un-reimbursed medical expenses
3.) To avoid eviction of you from your home or foreclosure on the mortgage of your primary residence
4.) For the payment of college tuition and associated costs for you, your spouse or dependent
There are NO OTHER SITUATIONS where you can take a hardship withdrawal. This is Federally regulated; your employer has no say in this and if they were to go ahead and let you take a withdrawal anyway for a reason not permitted above, the Feds could quite easily disallow the entire plan and revoke your employer's right to offer a 401k plan to anyone.
And again, you cannot take a hardship withdrawal even for these reasons unless your plan document specifically allows for it.
So no, unless your plan document specifically allows hardship withdrawals AND the withdrawal is for one of the four reasons stated, you cannot force the employer to give you some of your 401k, whether it's your money or not and regardless of how willing you are to pay the penalty and taxes. They would be in violation of Federal law if they were to do so.
