9 year old being harrassed via defamation?

[Bird79]

What is the name of your state? NY

My 9 year old step son unfortunately lives most of the time with his mother and her boyfriend who aren't my favorite people, but his "step-father's" ex is even worse - lisa.

Lisa has dragged my step son into all the chaos and court struggles and issues she has with my step son's mother and her (Lisa's) ex-husband.

Lisa called CPS on her ex who she has 3 children with who spend time with their father, my step son, and step son's mother in their home. I am not sure of the whole complaint, but some of it was against my step son. She claimed her daughter (7 yr old) reported my 9 yr old step son sexually harrassed her. My step son was pulled out of school and questioned by the police and CSP investigator. The investigation re: this harrassment was unfounded - Based on the shadey past of Lisa we assume she coached her daughter into saying what ever she did, non the less everything against my step son was unfounded.

My step son's mother reports to my husband (obviously his father) lisa continues to leave messages on their machine regarding my step son's "guilt" and is telling people all over what she states he did to sexually harrass her daughter. In the past my step son has told my husband and myself his "step brothers and sister" at mom's house make fun of him and tell him how their mother, lisa, says he is stupid and an idiot.

Frankly I don't care what Lisa does to his mother but I feel terrible for my step son. We have urged his mother to file harrassment charges against lisa because his mother tells my husband she has recordings and letters with proof of all she tells him about this matter. She refuses to file those charges because she does not think a restraining order will help (I don't get her thinking, see my post in "other crimes forum"). She is stating she is doing research and plans to get a civil lawyer pro bono (we are all broke) to go after lisa for slander, defamation of character, intentional affliction (?), and some other things.
She said instead of money she was advised to ask for a "word of seal", which I haven't heard of, apparently she thinks an order can be mandated that Lisa can not speak of my step son with out permission of some sort?

Can anyone advise me if there is anything me or my husband can do to protect my step son from further damage of lisa'a accusations/harrassment? Is his mother on the right path- is anyone familiar with what she is looking to do? Our experience with his mother is she is all talk and will continue to do "research", my husband and I have no contact with Lisa so we are going on what his mother is telling us about the continued harrassment, if it is going on we would like it to stop but because we are not in receipt of the harrassment at our home I don't think we can make a criminal or civil complaint. Thank you for your time.

 

[quincy]

It is really up to your husband and his ex-wife to figure out how to protect their son and how to handle Lisa.

If the ex-wife says she is researching the matter and looking for an attorney, then I guess she is doing what is necessary right now. Although it will be difficult for her to find an attorney who will handle this matter pro bono, if she contacts some large law firms in New York, she may possibly find one. Or she can look to a free legal clinic for assistance.

Since you have no contact with Lisa, and your husband has no contact with Lisa, it seems that there is little you can do about her. However, has your husband considered trying to change the custody arrangements so that your step-son can live with you? Removing him from his current environment may be a healthy solution.

And I have not heard of "word of seal" before.

 

[Bird79]

Quincy - Thanks for the response. Unfortunately my husband and his ex can not agree on many things, she has the upper hand in this one as she is involved directly in the matter. My husband has urged her to file harrassment charges against lisa but she is refusing. She is on a civil suit mission which would be great if she actually follows through, this has been going on since January and she is still "researching". She hasn't turned copies of her "evidence" over to my husband like he requested so he could have a better understanding of the attacks against his son and take it to lawyers for consultation because we are not in possession of any evidence I suppose there is nothing my husband can do. We wrote Lisa a letter informing her what my husband has heard and asking her that if these facts are so and they continue he will pursue any legal avenues he can to protect his son, we just aren't sure where to go from there.

My husband has filed for more custody but the law guardian and court agree there is no need for the child to be removed from his current living arrangements. In fact the public lawyer my husband had this last round of family court felt he was lucky to have two weekends a month and twice weekly dinner visits. His mother is very rigid, we even had to fight in court and had it put into an order I am allowed to pick up the child from daycare and school in my husbands absence on his parenting time. She even has his halloween hourly schedule she wanted in an order.

I just feel bad my step son is in the middle of so much conflict and our hands are tied as we can not control his mothers actions against us and the family matters at her house. I guess all we can do is not let him see as much dysfunction on our end.

 

[quincy]

Yes, I think it is important to have your family home a "safe haven" for your stepson, away from all the dysfunction he experiences elsewhere. Divorces are tough enough on children without all of the additional drama Lisa seems to be introducing. I wish you and your husband and your stepson all the best of luck.