A Bit Concerned

[workingmom]

What is the name of your state? MD

I don't know if this question is something to put up on here, but I thought I would try and get some advice from you.

Everything between my ex and I has been decided outside of the courts. He's supposed to pay me $300 a month child support (pays for half of day care) and he see's him EOW and Thursday nights during the week he doesn't have him on the weekend. Well it seems like he has been laid off and receiving unemployment. He says he is looking for a job, but has been for like 2 months now. How hard is it to find a job? Anyways..that is not the problem. I have been thinking about filing for child support since I haven't received anything from him for about 10 months now. I was wondering if I should since I know that things at his place are a little tight and I want to make sure he has the money the keep him home and have food for when my son visits him. Am I doing the right thing? Part of me wants to file because I know things are tight with me financially, but I am doing all right without his help, even though he should help some because it is also his son, but the other part of me doesn't want him to get so tight where he looses his place. I mean yes it would be harder for him to see his son...that's my problem. I've just been going crazy thinking about what I should or should not do...

Any Advice? And thanks in advance!

 

[Mbarr77]

Noone here can tell you if you are doing the right thing...that is a personal choice that is up to you! Are you legally entitled to child support, yes. But, what you decide is up to you.

 

[workingmom]

Thank You!

 

[fairisfair]

you have your child to think of, daddy is supposed to be taking care of himself.

 

[workingmom]

I know I have my child to think of, that is one of the reasons why I am concerned. I need financial help, but my son also needs his father. I'm afraid that if I file for support he won't be able to pay his bills and then lose his home and then how would my son see his father? My's son's father isn't very responsible when it comes to money, and he would always say he would rather not work if it meant fast food, so I don't see him getting a job somewhere like McDonalds to help pay the rent. I don't know why, but that's why I'm afraid to push the issue.

 

[fairisfair]

If your ex is that irresponsible, what kind of role model is he for your son? Your son has the right to be supported by both parents. But if you want to carry on that part of the burden for both of you, then hey, more power to you.

 

[workingmom]

Nobody said I want to hold this responsibilty all on my own, and I know that my son's father isn't the best role model ( I was with his for 5 years so I would know) But that does not change the fact that my son loves his father. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions. My son's happiness over my financial security. I'm not saying that I'm hurting, I can afford bills and food and the occasional outing, but it would be nice to have help with day care costs. $600 a month makes things a little tight.

 

[fairisfair]

Of course you feel like you are being pulled in two different directions, because you are, that is what being a mom is all about, all the time, forever, do what is right for your son, in your head first and then in your heart, he needs to eat before he can be happy. Sorry, that may sound cold, but it is a fact.

 

[workingmom]

Thank you for the advice and I will take it into consideration along with anything else I receive. I believe I will probably file for support in the next week or so. Thank you so much and I will talk to you later since it is just about time for me to leave work! Have a great day everyone!!

 

[waitinMd]

In Maryland, child support is based on what you make, minus the amount of days you have the child. There is a child support calculator at DHS, online.

If he is not working, you may get less than you would if you wait a few more weeks. They will base child support on the amount he can make, which could be minimum wage. They take into consideration your wages also.

Don't get me wrong, you deserve child support, but be careful, you may get less.

You can also call the department of social services and talk to someone, they will help you.

 

[fairisfair]

Thank you for the advice and I will take it into consideration along with anything else I receive. I believe I will probably file for support in the next week or so. Thank you so much and I will talk to you later since it is just about time for me to leave work! Have a great day everyone!!

wonder what HE is doing right about now

 

[waitinMd]

go here:

http://www.dhr.state.md.us/how/chldprnt/index.htm

I would try the calculator and see what figure it gives you, then talk to you son's father if you can, before you file. He may be able to come up with some funds!

 

[fairisfair]

go here:

http://www.dhr.state.md.us/how/chldprnt/index.htm

I would try the calculator and see what figure it gives you, then talk to you son's father if you can, before you file. He may be able to come up with some funds!

based on what? he isn't working, he will have to have an income imputed to him. as to the second part, based on what, he isn't working.

 

[waitinMd]

Most people have an idea of their ex's salary. If not, you can use the calculator and base it on minimum wage. (I doubt he was working for minimum wage!)

Wouldn't he now be considered to be voluntarily impoverishing himself?

Sometimes it is easier to show the other party what the court may award for child support and give them the chance to make amends.

I was not ordered to pay support since we have 50/50, but I know my ex doesn't make enough so I buy supplies for the child. My ex gf lets me know if she needs formula or diapers.

If you can keep it amicable, why not? My case is horrible, but I don't let that cloud the needs of my daughter, hopefully he will feel the same.

 

[silverwolf]

We all have it tough

I dont know if you have read any of my post but I can say this for sure. Sometimes you have to stop feeling sorry for someone else and feel sorry for yourself. I have had a horrible time. I am a mommy that signed a paper giving my x physical custody of my 4 year old daughter. He is a jailer and knows exactly how to do things. I not knowing anything about the law signed it thinking it was just to make sure he got visitation. Well a month later I ended up in court for child support and ended up paying 82.04 a week when I only made 7 dollars and hour 4 days a week. I am having medical problems that I am unable to work right now but still find a way to pay this money. If you get an order he has no way around it he will find a way to make it work. If he looses his house then that is not your falt if he wants to have anything to do with his child he will pay. If he doesnt it will either be jail or he can give up his rights and then you should be able to get help through the state from what I understand. Either way you shouldnt have to worry about him, only you and your little one. In the end of it all you still are the one to make that choice. Hang in there.