A few quick questions

[masopa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

I currently have sole custody and placement of my son. I was awarded this after my son's mother married a man who has abused my son. She has supervised visits about once a month (her choice how often) in the city where I live.

We have a court hearing in a couple of weeks, since she petitioned for more placement time.

• Home study report recommends she get 2 weekends a month, extended weekends in the summer
• She wants 3 weekends a month and the entire summer
• I think one weekend a month, extended in the summer would be best for my son.

I'm betting that the court will rule in favor of the recommendation as it's fairly in the middle. What I cannot fathom is how anyone thinks its a good idea to allow my son back in the home of the abuser. It's like everyone just forgets that mom's husband punched my son in the stomach.

I plan on fighting it tooth and nail, but I'm not confident that I can keep my son safe from this guy. Mom refuses to believe that anything happened or that there is the potential that anything could happen again. She will not protect my son from her husband.

My questions are:

1) Should I yield to the recommendation in hopes of not ending up with something worse?

2) Mom moved 3 hours away and we used to share driving. Now she moved another hour further. Would it seem petty of me to request that she be responsible for all transportation? The reason I ask (aside from it being unfair that I should be responsible since she moved) is that I work two weekends a month - the weekends that, hypothetically, she will have placement. I work until 4:30pm one weekend and until 10:30pm another weekend. I would not be able to get my son to the midway point in either instance, on either the Friday or the Sunday. Ideas?

3) What could these people (the family court counselor and the GAL) possibly be missing? I want to understand how they think this is best for my son - returning him to a negligent and abusive mother and her abusive new husband. Would it be out of line for me to request to meet with them prior to the court hearing in hopes that they could explain this to me? If they have learned things that I don't know that could possibly change how I see the situation (i.e. decide not to keep fighting) wouldn't that seem like a good idea?

 

[proud_parent]

I currently have sole custody and placement of my son. I was awarded this after my son's mother married a man who has abused my son.

Was Mom's husband ever convicted of child abuse?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI

I currently have sole custody and placement of my son. I was awarded this after my son's mother married a man who has abused my son. She has supervised visits about once a month (her choice how often) in the city where I live.

We have a court hearing in a couple of weeks, since she petitioned for more placement time.

• Home study report recommends she get 2 weekends a month, extended weekends in the summer
• She wants 3 weekends a month and the entire summer
• I think one weekend a month, extended in the summer would be best for my son.

I'm betting that the court will rule in favor of the recommendation as it's fairly in the middle. What I cannot fathom is how anyone thinks its a good idea to allow my son back in the home of the abuser. It's like everyone just forgets that mom's husband punched my son in the stomach.

I plan on fighting it tooth and nail, but I'm not confident that I can keep my son safe from this guy. Mom refuses to believe that anything happened or that there is the potential that anything could happen again. She will not protect my son from her husband.

My questions are:

1) Should I yield to the recommendation in hopes of not ending up with something worse?

2) Mom moved 3 hours away and we used to share driving. Now she moved another hour further. Would it seem petty of me to request that she be responsible for all transportation? The reason I ask (aside from it being unfair that I should be responsible since she moved) is that I work two weekends a month - the weekends that, hypothetically, she will have placement. I work until 4:30pm one weekend and until 10:30pm another weekend. I would not be able to get my son to the midway point in either instance, on either the Friday or the Sunday. Ideas?

3) What could these people (the family court counselor and the GAL) possibly be missing? I want to understand how they think this is best for my son - returning him to a negligent and abusive mother and her abusive new husband. Would it be out of line for me to request to meet with them prior to the court hearing in hopes that they could explain this to me? If they have learned things that I don't know that could possibly change how I see the situation (i.e. decide not to keep fighting) wouldn't that seem like a good idea?

Dad be careful with your wording in court. Mom may have possibly been negligent, but mom is not abusive. Mom's husband was abusive and apparently mom didn't witness the abuse.

You object to your child being returned to the home of his abuser...you do not object to the child being returned to mom. (for example, you wouldn't have a problem if mom had to take her weekends at her mother's house, for example? right?). If by any chance a member of mom's family lives in your community, you could argue that visitation should take place there.

I do not think that either the counselor or GAL would agree to meet with you at this stage.

Courts do generally go with the recommendations of GAL's, unless the opposing party can prove that the GAL did not do their job and did not properly investigate.

You can try to get the judge to order mom to provide the transportation, but that is a long shot since you were sharing transportation before...and because it would eat up a big part of mom's weekend if she had to do all the transportation.

 

[masopa]

Mom's husband was not convicted of child abuse. CPS chose not to follow up on the report, because of a lack of visible bruising. My son reported the abuse to his teachers at school. Screened out by CPS. Next time he went to visit his mom he came home and told me that the boyfriend (at the time) had punched him again. CPS screened it out again - never even investigated. The boyfriend's probation officer examined the boyfriend's two kids for signs of bruising but no one ever asked to examine my son. The traumatized one. He's been in therapy for the past year and is still afraid of mom;s husband. There has been a no-contact order in place for over a year between my son and the guy.

I will expand briefly on why I say mom is negligent and abusive. Negligent because of the way she neglects to give him remotely basic care like feeding him. Negligent because she leaves him home alone (and has since he was 3) while she runs errands. Negligent because apparently she was present when her boyfriend punched my son (according to my son) and chose to ignore it.

Abusive because she locks my son outside her trailer after dark as a punishment. Abusive because of the way she speaks to him; including telling him that she wishes she had never had him (and then drags me to court why?). Abusive because of the hand shaped bruises that he comes home with from visiting her. CPS has screened out my calls every time. I've given up with them.

As to mom taking her visitation at a relative's house: Mom's family is really no better, though I have considered this option. I feel like at this point however, that's too far away from what they have recommended to even be considered an option now.

I'm also of the opinion that eventually visits would be moved back to mom's residence and the fewer transitions my son has to make the better.

Poor kid, every time his mom talks to him about having him go back to where she lives for a visit he freaks out.

 

[LdiJ]

Mom's husband was not convicted of child abuse. CPS chose not to follow up on the report, because of a lack of visible bruising. My son reported the abuse to his teachers at school. Screened out by CPS. Next time he went to visit his mom he came home and told me that the boyfriend (at the time) had punched him again. CPS screened it out again - never even investigated. The boyfriend's probation officer examined the boyfriend's two kids for signs of bruising but no one ever asked to examine my son. The traumatized one. He's been in therapy for the past year and is still afraid of mom;s husband. There has been a no-contact order in place for over a year between my son and the guy.

I will expand briefly on why I say mom is negligent and abusive. Negligent because of the way she neglects to give him remotely basic care like feeding him. Negligent because she leaves him home alone (and has since he was 3) while she runs errands. Negligent because apparently she was present when her boyfriend punched my son (according to my son) and chose to ignore it.

Abusive because she locks my son outside her trailer after dark as a punishment. Abusive because of the way she speaks to him; including telling him that she wishes she had never had him (and then drags me to court why?). Abusive because of the hand shaped bruises that he comes home with from visiting her. CPS has screened out my calls every time. I've given up with them.

As to mom taking her visitation at a relative's house: Mom's family is really no better, though I have considered this option. I feel like at this point however, that's too far away from what they have recommended to even be considered an option now.

I'm also of the opinion that eventually visits would be moved back to mom's residence and the fewer transitions my son has to make the better.

Poor kid, every time his mom talks to him about having him go back to where she lives for a visit he freaks out.

If your son has hand shaped bruises you should be taking your son to the doctor or the ER immediately. Medical professionals are mandated reporters and CPS cannot ignore them.