a rapist has parental rights in MO???

[thegirl]

i'll keep this short. I live in MO was date raped and wound up pregnant. considered adoption for fear of being reminded of the 'donor' and in doing so he was notified. I chose to become a mother, he has had many opportunities to contact me if interested but he has not. now i am happily married to a man that i started dating 2 months after I had my child who is now 7 and we were just informed that we have to contact the donor again because my husband wants to adopt... i do not want the donor in my life anymore... it is bad enough that i have to live with what he did - but to have a law that would make me suffer again in case he wants rights. how would that be in the best interest of my child????? someone please help

 

[Seanscott]

If there was ever a case for stepparent adoption that was a slam-dunk, this would be it.

File for termination of parental rights. If the biodad has never paid support or visited, the courts will "gladly" tell him he has no rights, especially since you have a stepdad wanting to adopt.

In Indiana, you must have been married for one year, and the biodad has to have been out of the picture for one year.

I'm going through something very similar and wish it was as clear cut as yours.

Hopefully, your child's biodad will be happy to sign away his rights, if the court won't do it for him.

It may be a pain in the @ss, but it will be worth it for your child, and for all the years together as a family.

Good luck, you are in our prayers.

 

[Seanscott]

go to google.com and type in -

termination of parental rights Missouri

You will find the requirements for getting rid of the jerk!

 

[thegirl]

thanks for your help... i hope we can find something

 

[CMSC]

The department of health and human services has a website for the National Clearing house on Child Abuse and Neglect and it states in Missouri law that, "conception due to rape is grounds for termination of parental rights." I can email the entire file if you want it, it is very helpful but I don't know the link as I saved it on my desktop under something else. Missouri is one of very few states that have several grounds for parental rights termination, the only two that are not grounds for termination are "failure to prove paternity and child judged in need of services/disablility." So you have great grounds for termination.

I am glad to hear that you have found someone wonderful who understands your situation and I am also glad that you chose to keep your child, that must have been very difficult and you should not have to endure any more than you have been through.

Good luck and let me know if you want the Missouri termination file.

 

[thegirl]

thanks.. i would appreciate it. i am looking for as much info as possible. he was never convicted of the crime because i didn't want to deal with it for years in the courts and have to see him again... but i am worried that since he wasn't convicted the courts will not take the situation into consideration... despite the fact that supposedly only 8% of rapes are ever turned over for investigation. we haven't been getting very positive outlooks from the lawyers we have spoken with, so we are lost at the moment...

 

[CMSC]

I tried to send you an email but yours is not enabled through this site so if you want to send me one click on my profile and send it and I will send you the link.

 

[lkyoder34]

the girl

My heart goes out to you. I am in a similar situation. I was with an old boyfriend 1 time, was on the pill and got pregnant . His initial reaction was to abort, then adoption. I chose to have my baby and raise him on my own. After his birth we got a DNA test that was ordered by the county in which we live. The DNA test was botched and it claimed that he is NOT the biological father. I was devistated and so was my family. I was in college at the time and I was not with another guy to my knowledge. He is the only guy that I was knowingly and willingly with. I have a court order to have the DNA test repeated. If it comes back with the same results as the first on then the only other explanation is the slight possibility that I was given GHB at a party and date raped. I have absolutely no recollection what so ever of anything out of the ordinary happening to me. Part of me hopes that the second DNA test will prove that he is my baby's father and part of me want's the whole mess to just go away.If he is not the father then I have to deal with the fact that I was raped. It is possible that I may never really know who my baby's biological father is. I am so confused as to what to do. I have found a wonderful man that loves me and my baby and wants to marry me and adopt my baby and he wants his name on the baby's birth certificate. I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your baby and husband. Just remember, any guy can be a "donor", but it takes a special man to be a "daddy". Good luck to you!

 

[MSWCCC]

My 16-year-old cousin is an outright slut. Putting it mildly. She is proud of the fact that she has had sex with over 100 guys ranging from 13 to 37. And at least 30 girls (although how that's sex is beyond me). She is a drug addict, on crack, and refused to see a doctor until she was 6 months pregnant. At that visit she was so wacked on crack that the doctor felt it would be safer for the baby to be three months premature. Now she's in jeuvie. The baby is a year old and our grandparents have been raising her. But get this-she and her mom have joint "custody," but yet the courts have ordered Grandma and Grandpa to raise their great-grandson. Cass and Barbie can say where that baby can go and not go, when, etc., yet my grandparents have to pay for the baby (including all the medical bills) out of pocket and are virtual slaves to their daughter and granddaughter. It's sick. My grandma spent her own birthday last year taking care of a three-month-old because Barb and Cass (the mom of the baby) wouldn't let anyone babysit. My grandparents would rather just adopt the baby (they're millionaires, so they could afford the proceedings), but the court refuses to take away Cass's parental "rights," despite the fact that she's in jeuvie. Sickening.