A visit from CPS

[ra04152010]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tn

First let me say, I know those of you who are willing to give your time on this site to help answere questions like to have as much information as possible to give creditable advice. The issue I now have is a very senseative one I will give as much information as possible, yet I want to make sure I don't give to much and expose my children. I received a call from CPS that they wanted to do a home visit. They came out the next day and found everything to be in order. No problems with CPS glad to have ya have a nice day. Now my PROBLEM. I asked why the felt they needed to do a home visit. According to them almost a month ago my oldest child who is a teen attempted and talked about commiting sucide. The child was taken to a mental hospital and has been on sucide watch. The reason my child/my ex stated is because I am verbaly abusive and drink a lot. First I have had 2 beers around my children in the last 4 months, thoes were at seperate times at the begining of a meal. I have never been even slighlty intoxicated around my children. Second of couse I do not feel I am even verbly aggresive let alone abbusive. The reason it took so long form them to contact me is my ex provided none of my information to the facility my child was taken. My questions:
1. Obviously what do I do now
2. Our orders state I am to be notified within 24 hours all er medical. I think this is big time ER. Is my ex in contempt for not letting me know?
3. Should I not be a part of the care, decision making, ect.
4. This happened on her watch not mine. Do I have grounds to file for er custody? Based on her not telling me and my child being in danger?
5. Could this be a ruse to keep me from my children? My child's grades, behavior, social activities have not changed. It is not consistant with what I have read about teen sucide.
6. Can I obtain medical records from the facility my child was taken? Is there dr/client privy with underage children?
Any insight, information, or suggestions would be appreciated

 

[Isis1]

In regards to the medical records, i suspect you would need the child's consent to get access.

 

[FLstepmom]

My fiance's ex-wife called children's services and claimed that he and I both sexually abuse the children. When our home was visited, I asked how to obtain a copy of the report. We made sure we got and kept a copy of the report stating that her claims were unsupported.

It is unacceptable for her to not have notified you of something so serious. If your orders state she has to inform you within a specified timeframe, then she is in contempt by not telling you.

I'm not a lawyer, just someone who has been in the grinding wheels with a nasty ex-spouse for years now, so I can't offer much more advice than that. Good luck to you and your child.

 

[jbowman]

In regards to the medical records, i suspect you would need the child's consent to get access.

Please explain this. I have never heard of that for a parent to get their minor child's permission. Is this a suicide attempt thing?

 

[CSO286]

Please explain this. I have never heard of that for a parent to get their minor child's permission. Is this a suicide attempt thing?

Yep, it sounds like the chld was on a suicide hold. In this case, then yes, it very likely that OP would need a release from child to obtain metal health records.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

My fiance's ex-wife called children's services and claimed that he and I both sexually abuse the children. When our home was visited, I asked how to obtain a copy of the report. We made sure we got and kept a copy of the report stating that her claims were unsupported.

Which of OP's questions did this answer?

It is unacceptable for her to not have notified you of something so serious. If your orders state she has to inform you within a specified timeframe, then she is in contempt by not telling you.

Only if a judge so decides.

I'm not a lawyer, just someone who has been in the grinding wheels with a nasty ex-spouse for years now, so I can't offer much more advice than that. Good luck to you and your child.

Then let the seniors help, please. Thanks.

 

[ra04152010]

Thanks Flstepmom I will be getting a copy of the CPS report. I do not have a problem with stepparents posting or giving advice sometimes it's good to have someone's opinions who are looking at things from different angles.

I was afraid it might be hard to get medical records with the new HIPPA laws. Just seems it would be very hard for parents to help their children if they don't know what the problem is. Makes me feel more like a stewart to my child than a parent. I am only able to know and do what the courts allow NOT what a parent should.

 

[mistoffolees]

In regards to the medical records, i suspect you would need the child's consent to get access.

Or a court order.

I would go to court and ask for ex to be held in contempt for not informing Mom. I would also ask for a court order for the records to be released to me. Finally, I very well might ask for a change in custody since ex is apparently doing everything he can to keep me out of the child's life.

I would also ask for a court order for the child to be in counseling with BOTH parents informed of his progress.

One thing tempering all of that is - the child's age. How old is the child? If he's nearly 18, you'd be putting a lot of time and effort into something that would be moot by the time the legal hassles were over.

 

[Tex78704]

I was involved in a very similar incident not long ago. My situation was further complicated by my children living in another state.

You certainly can and should obtain a copy of your childs medical records from the treatment facility. I flew to the other state and showed up at the facility that treated my child and requested a copy of the records, and received them. I contacted each of her mental health care providers who gave her follow up treatment, spoke with them in person or by phone, and they provided a copy of their records and notes. My ex had tried to blame everything on me, and I made sure the health care providers had both sides of the story to better understand the situation and help my child.

I would guess that CPS records in this case would be of little to no value if they did not find anything.

Just because this happened on your ex's watch does not mean you have a better chance at custody. While failing to notifiy the other parent of emergency hospitalization of a child is a violation of the terms of many custody orders, one incident in and of itself will not buy you a whole lot with regards to contempt of court.

Your primary goal should be to determine the cause of your child's problems and how to best help him or her, rather than waste energy pointing fingers and trying to get back at your ex for this.

 

[ra04152010]

Thank you for your response I have a meeting with my attorney scheduled soon. I am sure it does not matter but I am the dad (didn't mention that sorry). My child is over a year away from being 18. I am hoping this combined with other ocurances will be enough to warrant change in custody. I already obtained court ordered "family" counsleing (I have another post on here about that) however, it is moving very VERY slow and I'm not sure how that will work. The counselor has already seen the ex and the children now she wants to talk to the children again before even seeing me. I called the counselor about this when I found out and she said o yea the ex may have mentioned somthing about that UGH!! Do judges take into consideration the affect parents have on childrens opinions of the other parent? Would this be enough for an ER custody hearing?

 

[ra04152010]

Tex7804: This would be the 3rd not 1st time I have not been told of medical events. One was a planned surgery I did not find out about till being handed my half of the bill.
I am not pointing fingers but I can not get my child help if I am kept in the dark about it. It would seem to me my child could not be given accurate mental treatment if the doctors do not talk to both parents and know the child's full living senario.