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Abandoned Property

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BRVA2016

Registered User
What is the name of your state? Indiana

Forgive me if this is in the wrong place but I wasn't exactly sure where to put it. My daughter (25yo) and owns her own home was dating a guy (29yo) who was living with her and paying 1/2 the bills. They split up (he moved out while she was at work) in April of 2024 still owing her about 2k. He had given quite a few expensive trading cards to my wife and I to sell for him on eBay. We didn't get them listed before they split up. I reminded him they were still at our house and that he was free to come and get them any time he liked. In total, I verbally reminded him via phone calls at least a 1/2 dozen times over the course of several months. His odd response was to chuckle nervously every time and say "okay." He's since ghosted all of us. Needless to say, the cards are still here approaching a year later. How long before these are legally considered abandoned? Thanks :)
 
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quincy

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Indiana

Forgive me if this is in the wrong place but I wasn't exactly sure where to put it. My daughter (25yo) and owns her own home was dating a guy (29yo) who was living with her and paying 1/2 the bills. They split up (he moved out while she was at work) in April of 2024 still owing her about 2k. He had given quite a few expensive trading cards to my wife and I to sell for him on eBay. We didn't get them listed before they split up. I reminded him they were still at our house and that he was free to come and get them any time he liked. In total, I verbally reminded him via phone calls at least a 1/2 dozen times over the course of several months. His odd response was to chuckle nervously every time and say "okay." He's since ghosted all of us. Needless to say, the cards are still here approaching a year later. How long before these are legally considered abandoned? Thanks :)
Property can be considered abandoned if it remains unclaimed for 3 years BUT this assumes there is no written agreement to the contrary AND/OR proper steps have been taken to inform the owner of the property that the property will be disposed of or sold if the owner does not make arrangements to retrieve the property within a reasonable period of time specified by the holder of the property.

Do you have a street address for your daughter’s ex-boyfriend or just a phone number? You will want an address to send the ex-boyfriend notification. He is probably avoiding you because he knows he owes your daughter money.
 

quincy

Senior Member
I think that your unspoken question is "How can I keep them for myself."

Why don't you just pack them up and ship them to the ex-boyfriend?
That would require the ex-boyfriend’s address, but I agree that would be one solution if the boyfriend won’t simply stop by BRVA2016’s house to pick them up.
 

BRVA2016

Registered User
I think that your unspoken question is "How can I keep them for myself."

Why don't you just pack them up and ship them to the ex-boyfriend?
With all due respect, your first statement couldn't be further from the truth. I have no need nor interest in keeping his property.

And, I have his parents' address but am I legally obligated to hand-hold a grown man? He knows they're here and I've reminded him of this numerous times. I've known him long enough to know when the going gets tough, he cuts and runs and his parents are absolute enablers of his behavior. They even helped him move out while my daughter was at work and she was none-the-wiser until she came home to a half-empty house. It would give me no greater pleasure than to chuck them in garbage when I'm legally permitted to do so. My question was simply what I needed to do legally to dispose of them. Are numerous verbal reminders sufficient from a legal standpoint or do I need to do something more "official?" Thanks :)
 

quincy

Senior Member
With all due respect, your first statement couldn't be further from the truth. I have no need nor interest in keeping his property.

And, I have his parents' address but am I legally obligated to hand-hold a grown man? He knows they're here and I've reminded him of this numerous times. I've known him long enough to know when the going gets tough, he cuts and runs and his parents are absolute enablers of his behavior. They even helped him move out while my daughter was at work and she was none-the-wiser until she came home to a half-empty house. It would give me no greater pleasure than to chuck them in garbage when I'm legally permitted to do so. My question was simply what I needed to do legally to dispose of them. Are numerous verbal reminders sufficient from a legal standpoint or do I need to do something more "official?" Thanks :)
You need something more official. Send a formal letter, certified, return receipt requested, to the boyfriend in care of the parents. You can give the boyfriend a specific date to pick the cards up, letting him know that after that date you will dispose of them, or you can mail the cards to the boyfriend in care of the parents.
 

BRVA2016

Registered User
You need something more official. Send a formal letter, certified, return receipt requested, to the boyfriend in care of the parents. You can give the boyfriend a specific date to pick the cards up, letting him know that after that date you will dispose of them, or you can mail the cards to the boyfriend in care of the parents.
Excellent! Thank you! I'd love to go the certified letter w/rr route. Is there a specific time frame I need to legally give him or is it my discretion (within reason of course?) Edit: I'd like to do the absolute legal minimum possible. This guy has been coddled his entire life and needs to step up and take responsibility. We were actually really good friends while they were dating and I genuinely liked him. He knows he did her dirty and doesn't want to face my wife or me which is why I'd rather not give him another opportunity (by mailing them) to avoid responsibility for poor decision making. And, he absolutely knows it would be a cordial pickup. I could leave them in a secure location outside the house and he could come get them while we're at work (or likely send one of his enabling parents.) Thank you again :)
 
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quincy

Senior Member
Excellent! Thank you! I'd love to go the certified letter w/rr route. Is there a specific time frame I need to legally give him or is it my discretion (within reason of course?) Edit: I'd like to do the absolute legal minimum possible. This guy has been coddled his entire life and needs to step up and take responsibility. We were actually really good friends while they were dating and I genuinely liked him. He knows he did her dirty and doesn't want to face my wife or me which is why I'd rather not give him another opportunity (by mailing them) to avoid responsibility for poor decision making. And, he absolutely knows it would be a cordial pickup. I could leave them in a secure location outside the house and he could come get them while we're at work (or likely send one of his enabling parents.) Thank you again :)
I suggest you speak to a local attorney on the time frame. You didn’t have a written contract with the fellow and he wasn’t a tenant so the attorney will have to tell you what’s reasonable. The ex-boyfriend moved out last April so he already has been given plenty of time to retrieve the cards.

I recommend you keep a record of all communications you have with him and his parents.

Good luck.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
With all due respect, your first statement couldn't be further from the truth. I have no need nor interest in keeping his property.

And, I have his parents' address but am I legally obligated to hand-hold a grown man? He knows they're here and I've reminded him of this numerous times. I've known him long enough to know when the going gets tough, he cuts and runs and his parents are absolute enablers of his behavior. They even helped him move out while my daughter was at work and she was none-the-wiser until she came home to a half-empty house. It would give me no greater pleasure than to chuck them in garbage when I'm legally permitted to do so. My question was simply what I needed to do legally to dispose of them. Are numerous verbal reminders sufficient from a legal standpoint or do I need to do something more "official?" Thanks :)
You won't like this comment either. That's your ego talking. You've been slighted and you want revenge. The equivalent of holding your breath and stamping your feet.:confused:

Grow up and get this over with. You have an address. Photograph the cards for an inventory. Make a video of you packing and sealing them up. Send it and be done with it. Be the better person.

Or you can let your bitterness fester for as long as you want.

Above is not legal advice, just practical real-world solution.
 

quincy

Senior Member
… You have an address. Photograph the cards for an inventory. Make a video of you packing and sealing them up. Send it and be done with it. …
I agree that it is time to take action. Obviously phone calls are not working. Box the cards up, send the box, be done with it.
 

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