Abandonment?

[Purplemom]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My daughter's biological father and I were never married. I left him in Tennessee when she was 1yr old to go to school in Washington State (where my parents live) order to benifit her life (believe me, I was going NOWHERE with him!)
After I left, he went to jail for intetion to sell drugs (crack and pot) and for stealing a car. For some reason he only spent 6mo. in jail and 4mo. in rehab. He moved back in with his parents until recently, and now no one can find him (or won't look)
He doesn't pay child support, doesn't call, write or so much as send a card for her birthday.
I have heard that I can file for abandonment of the child if he doesn't 'participate' in her life after a certain amount of time. Is this true?
Also, my fiance wants to adopt my daughter when we marry since he is the only father she has ever known. The only reason we haven't married is because I am still in school.
I need to know what I can do to either find the poor b*st*rd and get him to pay some child support, or to get his rights taken away. Is it possible to have his rights taken? or does he have to volutarily give them up?

PLEASE only professional lawyers respond.
I don't give a damn what your opinion on the matter is!
I know I made a mistake with the loser...I've heard enough from my mother What is the name of your state?

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My daughter's biological father and I were never married. I left him in Tennessee when she was 1yr old to go to school in Washington State (where my parents live) order to benifit her life (believe me, I was going NOWHERE with him!)
After I left, he went to jail for intetion to sell drugs (crack and pot) and for stealing a car. For some reason he only spent 6mo. in jail and 4mo. in rehab. He moved back in with his parents until recently, and now no one can find him (or won't look)
He doesn't pay child support, doesn't call, write or so much as send a card for her birthday.
I have heard that I can file for abandonment of the child if he doesn't 'participate' in her life after a certain amount of time. Is this true?
Also, my fiance wants to adopt my daughter when we marry since he is the only father she has ever known. The only reason we haven't married is because I am still in school.
I need to know what I can do to either find the poor b*st*rd and get him to pay some child support, or to get his rights taken away. Is it possible to have his rights taken? or does he have to volutarily give them up?

PLEASE only professional lawyers respond.
I don't give a damn what your opinion on the matter is!
I know I made a mistake with the loser...I've heard enough from my mother What is the name of your state?

The only way the father's parental rights will be terminated is if you are married and your husband wants to adopt the kid (and, of course, you can otherwise prove grounds for termination).

 

[Ithildriel]

Nanny nanny boo boo

You don't get to choose who answers you...

 

[fairisfair]

Has paternity been established, legally? Is there a child support order, custody order, visitation? When was the last contact with the child.? that's just for starters.

 

[Purplemom]

Has paternity been established, legally? Is there a child support order, custody order, visitation? When was the last contact with the child.? that's just for starters.

Yes, paternity has been established, he is on the Birth certificate and the paternity affidavid.
There is a child support order...but it hasn't completely gone through because of the interstate BS. He hasn't paid anything even though I offered to take what he could offer and not file an order...which I have now.
There is no custody order...I just have custody.
No visitation, we live 3,000 miles away from each other.
Any other questions I will be happy to answer.

 

[Silverplum]

You don't get to choose who answers you...

I have a truly superb and comprehensive WA family law link, but I'm not a lawyer so I can't answer.

 

[Ithildriel]

Yes, paternity has been established, he is on the Birth certificate and the paternity affidavid.
There is a child support order...but it hasn't completely gone through because of the interstate BS. He hasn't paid anything even though I offered to take what he could offer and not file an order...which I have now.
There is no custody order...I just have custody.
No visitation, we live 3,000 miles away from each other.
Any other questions I will be happy to answer.

Really? She hasn't even showed you her law degree yet.

 

[Purplemom]

I have a truly superb and comprehensive WA family law link, but I'm not a lawyer so I can't answer.

I am sorry. I didn't mean you couln't answer. I just meant I didn't want anyone's negative opinion. I guess that was presumptuous of me.

 

[Ithildriel]

I am sorry. I didn't mean you couln't answer. I just meant I didn't want anyone's negative opinion. I guess that was presumptuous of me.

Nobody wants anyone's negative opinion. It's the "gift with purchase" you get along with your "Free Advice".

 

[Purplemom]

Nobody wants anyone's negative opinion. It's the "gift with purchase" you get along with your "Free Advice".

Oh, ok. well I can live with that.
now can I have that advice that I was looking for, 'cause no one has really helped me at all. If you feel the need to give me your opinion, please feel free. I really just want to know what I can do. Again I apologize if I offended anyone.

 

[Silverplum]

Oh, ok. well I can live with that.
now can I have that advice that I was looking for, 'cause no one has really helped me at all. If you feel the need to give me your opinion, please feel free. I really just want to know what I can do. Again I apologize if I offended anyone.

Here it is, the fabulous WA Law link:
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/WA/StateSubTopics.cfm/County/ /City/ /demoMode/= 1/Language/1/State/WA/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/ /LoggedIn/0/iTopicID/862/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile.gif/bAllState/0

I dunno why it's so long. But it has just about everything to do with WA Family law. I just spent a few minutes over there, looking for TPR (termination of parental rights) and didn't see anything. But then, it's your life, not mine: I wasn't trying very hard.

And yes, you have already been helped. Your attitude has been adjusted for free , and Fair asked you some exceedingly pertinent questions. Without knowing the answers to those questions, no one can help you in any valid way.

An adjunct to one of those questions: Has paternity been determined by a govt. agency? Via DNA? Or he just signed the bc and pa?

 

[Silverplum]

Aaaaand: She's gone.

 

[Purplemom]

Aaaaand: She's gone.

Sorry, had to go get my daughter from daycare.
No, no DNA tests have been done.
Thank you all for the attitude adjustment...ahhh. I needed that.

 

[Silverplum]

Sorry, had to go get my daughter from daycare.
No, no DNA tests have been done.
Thank you all for the attitude adjustment...ahhh. I needed that.

Of course, the kid cannot rot at daycare. Excused absence for you.

Okay, without DNA, then Dad has probably not been legally adjudicated to be the father. Check your WA link for paternity establishment. Usually CS (child support) cannot be established without paternity. Check your WA link for that, too. *edited to add: Really, check it. It may be that signing the bc and ap is enough in the birth state. I don't know.

The deal is, if he has never been ordered to pay CS, he doesn't owe it. Legally. Not morally. But this is a legal site. Also, if he has never petitioned for and been granted visitation (also called "parenting time"), then you do not have to let him see the kid. Ever. Legally. Not morally.

Here's the other legal line on (court ordered) CS and visitation: They are not linked. No, they're not. If he owes you $$$, you still have to let him see the kid for court-ordered visits. File contempt for nonpayment, but let him see the kid.

 

[Purplemom]

Of course, the kid cannot rot at daycare. Excused absence for you.

Okay, without DNA, then Dad has probably not been legally adjudicated to be the father. Check your WA link for paternity establishment. Usually CS (child support) cannot be established without paternity. Check your WA link for that, too. *edited to add: Really, check it. It may be that signing the bc and ap is enough in the birth state. I don't know.

yeah, apparently the affidavit is legally binding for CS.

But my problem is not that he wants time with her. I would be happy to give it.
The problem is that he doesn't exist to her. And that my fiance wants to adopt her. I realize that he can't adopt until we are married, but what would it take to get his rights revoked? Would all of his convictions do it, or would he have to have more current issues? He was jailed in 2004. I have no way of knowing if he is really clean. Would that require forcing him to drug test?