abused child ran away, being sent back home

[ksjane]

What is the name of your state? KS

Here's the scenario: 3 Children ages 13,12,10. Live with father who is physically and emotionally abusive. There has been constant issues with custody, visitation, abuse etc... Reports filed constantly with SRS, Judge, mediators etc... No one will listen, nor do anything about these reports etc... 2 days ago the father hit the oldest boy with a belt and with a spatula. After he went to sleep the children ran away and went to the police station. The police took them to their grandmas and they said that there is nothing that anyone can do so long as there are no marks. Which there are not. These children have repeatedly told people about the abuse, such as teachers, neighbors, doctors, police, judge, mediator, lawyer...everyone. They wont do ANYTHING. Called SRS, and they said there is NOTHING anyone can do so long as there are no marks. There has to be someone that can do something. Does anyone have any websites such as maybe child advocate groups or anything would be helpful. Dont have much time. If SRS determines that the children should go back to their father then they will go back. I would appreciate any info, legal advice, ANYTHING. Thank you.

 

[VeronicaGia]

If those kids aren't careful, they'll end up in juvenile hall or foster care. Who do the kids want to live with?

 

[ksjane]

They want to live with their mother. They have told the judge, and the mediator, and SRS and everyone else who won't listen, that they want to live with their mother. No One will listen.

 

[ellencee]

ksjane
Kids don't get to do what kids want to do. Kids get to do what they are told to do.
So far, all of these agencies and law enforcement persons and court officials have found no reason to take the children from the father.
What you described is not abuse from the father; but, it is bad behavior on the children's part, especially the older one.
As for who is to blame, I suspect there is one (or more) adult who is interested in getting the children away from the father and keeps the issue stirred up.
It has given the children 'power' that they are not prepared to handle and is causing all the trouble.
So far their home life and their school life has been disrupted.
It's too bad that everyone can't settle down and let these little ones be children for the few remaining years of childhood that they have.

Veronica Gia is correct in her observations. The older child seems destined for juvenile hall or foster care if he continues to lead the younger ones astray and continues to try and incriminate his father.

If you and, or the persons stirring this issue continuously want a peaceful resolution and what is best for the children, then the father should be left alone and the children should understand their home is with him and under his rule, even if it means corporal punishment.

I don't agree with using a belt, at all; but if no marks were left, then the whack with the belt was more of a tap. A good old fashioned whack with a belt leaves a red mark for hours and hours. A beating with a belt leaves bruises and cuts.

You may want to check your state's laws as regards falsely charging a person with abuse or seeking a change of custody based on unfounded charges of abuse. The father may have grounds for a lawsuit against his accusers and may have grounds to ask the court to bar the accusing parties from any and all contact with the children.

This seems to be bad situation for all and one that needs to be allowed to cool off for the sake of the children.

 

[hexeliebe]

Ditto....

Now, just to throw a monkey into the wrench ....it seems to me there's more to this story than we're being told...


But I could be wrong...I remember once in 1973 when I was

 

[ksjane]

Actually Hex, you are correct, there is more to this story. What we are talking about is not JUST a good old fashion spanking. We are talking CHILD ABUSE. Any way you choose to look at it! Abuse that has happened over a 3 year span. And yes their home life and school life has been disrupted, because of the abuse. The belt just happened to be the last straw. However, I am pleased to announce that the judge "temporarily" changed the order. The mother now has the children and the father is to have NO UNSUPERVISED CONTACT with the children what so ever! They will have a hearing sometime in August. Meanwhile, the children, who feared for their lives, are very excited to be home with their mother. Where they are treated like people. Not slaves under the ruler of corporal punishment. I appreciate everyones input, however, there is a HUGE difference between a grown man putting his hands on CHILDREN and "corporal punishment". Period. Heres to happy endings!

 

[hexeliebe]

ksjane;

Nowhere in my answer to you and the others did I say anything except that there is more to this story. As you have proven.

I didn't deserve that. But I accept that you are emotional about this issue and I also hope you accept that if you want this to be a permanent change, emotion should play no part.

The more time you spend on emotions, the less time you'll have to present facts to the court. Please keep that in mind.