Accident, Can He Use it Against Me?

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My oldest son has a rifle that he has used in the past for a copmetitive shooting program. I allow him to have it in the house because I do not keep ammo in the house. My mistake, I know, please if possible avoid the lectures on this, I have had more than my fill in the past 5 days. Anyway, my son brought ammo home from camp and put it in a clip, which at some point put it in his rifle. He was doing something with the rifle, I think putting it back in his closet when he was cleaning his room, dropped the rifle and it fired, grazing my younger son's hand and lodging in his chest, somehow his rib stopped it. One VERY lucky little boy. Kiddo is going to be fine, was hospitalized for observation, bandaged his hand and sent home. Police came, secured the weapon, wrote it up as an accident, social services came, wrote it up as an accident, rifle is in the to-be-destroyed pile at police headquarters, no weapons in the house ever again.

I know you all don't have crystal balls, but do you think my ex be able to use this against me? I have had full phys and legal custody of them for 3 years now. He is retiring next year, but will not be living in our area.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My oldest son has a rifle that he has used in the past for a copmetitive shooting program. I allow him to have it in the house because I do not keep ammo in the house. My mistake, I know, please if possible avoid the lectures on this, I have had more than my fill in the past 5 days. Anyway, my son brought ammo home from camp and put it in a clip, which at some point put it in his rifle. He was doing something with the rifle, I think putting it back in his closet when he was cleaning his room, dropped the rifle and it fired, grazing my younger son's hand and lodging in his chest, somehow his rib stopped it. One VERY lucky little boy. Kiddo is going to be fine, was hospitalized for observation, bandaged his hand and sent home. Police came, secured the weapon, wrote it up as an accident, social services came, wrote it up as an accident, rifle is in the to-be-destroyed pile at police headquarters, no weapons in the house ever again.

I know you all don't have crystal balls, but do you think my ex be able to use this against me? I have had full phys and legal custody of them for 3 years now. He is retiring next year, but will not be living in our area.

If the police considered it an accident, and CPS considered it an accident, and the gun was removed from the home and there will never be a gun there again, then I think that you are probably ok. That doesn't mean that your ex can't drag you to court over it, but odds are that you will be ok.

However, your oldest really, really, really messed up badly. I hope that he learned a serious lesson from this.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Ldij,
I think he did learn his lesson, currently he has written a letter to the camp apologizing for stealing from them, he is also going to be doing safety lectures at the local gun club even tho he will not be shooting with me anytime soon, in my mind never is too soon. He is having nightmares from the shooting, tho the one who got hurt is not.

 

[Rushia]

Ldij,
I think he did learn his lesson, currently he has written a letter to the camp apologizing for stealing from them, he is also going to be doing safety lectures at the local gun club even tho he will not be shooting with me anytime soon, in my mind never is too soon. He is having nightmares from the shooting, tho the one who got hurt is not.

I was going to suggest counseling for both the boys but didn't want to sound like I was being mean. I agree that you've probably heard enough and didn't want to add to your burden, but if he's having nightmares, it might be something to consider.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

As long as the ex was gung ho with his shooting competitively, I can't see where he has room to complain. I am sooooo happy the accident did not result in death. The problem with society being so insistent on assigning liability, is that our kids no longer grow up with a sense of responsibility. We are afraid to let them experience anything, out of fear of reprisal from others.

My son had a go kart at 10. I made sure it had a roll bar in case he dumped it. While riding at the in-laws, he rolled it w/his cousin in it. Both were fine, due to the rollbar and seatbelts. The in laws were terrified to tell us what happened. When it finally came out days later, they were shocked that I just laughed and said how glad I was it ended up the way I planned it.

If ex is angry, ask him if he wants your children to live in a bubble.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

I was going to suggest counseling for both the boys but didn't want to sound like I was being mean. I agree that you've probably heard enough and didn't want to add to your burden, but if he's having nightmares, it might be something to consider.

I am still thinking about the counseling. My oldest does not like or trust therapists or adults he does not know. Hence when the social worker was interviewing him he had an attitude of hard as nails and she came to the conclusion that he did not show any remorse. When she told me that I had her talk to my friend and the police officer that spent 4 hours calming him down while I was in the ER with my other son. She changed her tune.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Even if you don't believe it is needed, it is probably best to put on a horse and pony show, for dad and the locals.

 

[Rushia]

I am still thinking about the counseling. My oldest does not like or trust therapists or adults he does not know. Hence when the social worker was interviewing him he had an attitude of hard as nails and she came to the conclusion that he did not show any remorse. When she told me that I had her talk to my friend and the police officer that spent 4 hours calming him down while I was in the ER with my other son. She changed her tune.

Therapists are used to this and will give him plenty of time to adjust to him/her.

 

[mistoffolees]

OP, how old is the older kid?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

OP, how old is the older kid?

He is 14 years old.

 

[st-kitts]

OP, while it sounds like a terrible "accident" and I am glad that you are indicating that you have taken steps to prevent its recurrence and you have not been found guilty of negligence, I think your ex should be concerned.

Any parent should be concerned. One of your children was shot by a gun in your house.

If you ex has a tremendous amount of faith in you, perhaps you can assure him that all is well...

But, if I were Dad I would be in contact with my attorney. Whether he can use it against you, I do not know. Should he try... well, what would you do if the kids were shot in his care?

 

[stealth2]

I have to agree with kitt - were I in Dad's shoes, I'd be speaking with an attorney forthwith. My concern would be with your apparent poor judgment in this situation - and how it might translate in other situations.

 

[Proserpina]

I have to agree with kitt - were I in Dad's shoes, I'd be speaking with an attorney forthwith. My concern would be with your apparent poor judgment in this situation - and how it might translate in other situations.

I agree.

But, I also have to agree with what LdiJ said - if CPS have been involved and found no reason to be overly concerned, I don't think Dad has much chance at changing the status quo (if that is indeed his intent).

Now if it happens again...that's a completely different matter and this incident could and likely would be held against OP.

And I'll also say that had the outcome been any different, OP would be facing the distinct possibility of losing custody of her remaining child.

 

[neopandora]

Ldij,
I think he did learn his lesson, currently he has written a letter to the camp apologizing for stealing from them, he is also going to be doing safety lectures at the local gun club even tho he will not be shooting with me anytime soon, in my mind never is too soon. He is having nightmares from the shooting, tho the one who got hurt is not.

OP - I don't want to lecture you. I'm sure you have had enough, but your son stole as well. And, this wasn't just a matter of his rifle accidentally having a bullet chambered, he had a clip on it (loaded or empty). That's a big no-no.

I have a son his age, and stealing, let alone some huge firearm safety infractions, would ground him indefinitely (video games, cell phones, cable, internet, everything), no shooting period, and he would do every chore I could find for a very long time. I would do all those disciplines JUST for stealing.

I would also have him in therapy. It sounds like something is going on with him to both steal and have the shooting accident. How recent was your divorce? Is he coping well with the divorce or any other issues?

 

[mistoffolees]

I agree.

But, I also have to agree with what LdiJ said - if CPS have been involved and found no reason to be overly concerned, I don't think Dad has much chance at changing the status quo (if that is indeed his intent).

That's about where I end up on this. Mom was probably negligent (firearms should be locked up at all times - even if there's no ammunition handy). Leaving a 14 year old with access to firearms without an adult present might also be considered negligent by some judges (although the world has changed. I used to go out hunting by myself when I was 12).

However, given that the findings were that it was an accident and Mom has removed the gun and will not allow for any more to be in the house, it would take a very extreme judge to change custody on that basis.

Now if it happens again...that's a completely different matter and this incident could and likely would be held against OP.

And I'll also say that had the outcome been any different, OP would be facing the distinct possibility of losing custody of her remaining child.

I agree with that, as well. Mom needs to make sure that the kid doesn't get access to any guns.

If shooting is important to the child, consider signing up at a shooting range. Most of them will allow kids to use their guns under their supervision. He can then get his shooting experience in while protecting you.