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Accuser is the abuser,crazy but true!

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wallywagger

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah
Hi all,this is going to sound crazy, and there's alot of you that won't believe me, but I swear this is the truth. I'm looking for some advice on what I should do, because pre-trial is a month away.I'm charged with assault,(domestic violence)and before you start thinking I'm some kind of scumbag let me state that I was only acting in self defense. Here are the facts....On Oct 30th, 2011, my (Bipolar) girlfriend of about 6 years, began drinking vodka.She had been on the wagon, and involved with AA, up untill about a month before this. She's also been addicted to meth and has gone to prison for possesion during our relationship.Let me state that this situation has happened before,(not every time she drinks, but every time it happens she's been drinking).
She had been trying to hide her drinking, but I can always tell just by the way she starts acting. I called her on it and she became argumentive, and confrontational. I learned a long time ago that there is no reasoning when she is like that, so I just shutup and listened to her rant and rave for the next half hour.I tried to stay calm, and nicely ask her to "just drop it honey" a few times.She started rambling about stuff that was delusional, and soon everything that was wrong in her life was my fault.
She finally said something so outragous that I blurted out that she was a crazy bitch and needed to get back on her medication. I was sitting in a easy chair and she came at me with her fists closed and started hitting me in my face.I reached up to try to grab her arms, but she grabbed on of mine and fell down on me, resticting both of my arms and continued wailing on me.I struggled and pushed her off me and we fell on the floor.At this point I was able to hold her down hoping she would calm down. Instead she got angryier and spit in my face.I yelled to my friend who was in a nearby bedroom to "Call the cops". She said "go ahead, call the cops.You'll be the one going to jail". I said "your the one that started this" and she said " yeah, but you gave me a fat lip" I looked and her top lip was bleeding a little. I was like, ****! I let here go and she went right to the phone and called 911. I just sat there in disbelief as she calmly, and coldly talked to the dispatcher.
Soon the cops were there. They seperated us and heard each side. then one came in and told me that even though she admitted to slapping me first, and that they looked at this as mutual combatants, that I was a pretty big guy and that they thought I was the primary aggressor. So they wrote me a citation, and had her leave.
So anyway, I definitely want to take this to trial but I am still working on saving up the dough for a attorney. The JP (Justice of the peace) said I don't qualify for a public defender, even though I only adverage 30 hours a week, and there are some weeks that I don't even work.(construction)
From what I understand the trial will be a bench trial,because it's in Justice Court,before a JP.I've been told that I will probably be found guilty by this paticular JP. (a women,no offense ladies) and that I will have to appeal the conviction to get it heard in District Court.So I'm looking at double fees, and there is no way that I'm going to have the money for even a retainer by the end of next month.
So any advice would be appreciated, such as defense strategys,getting a postponement, getting re-avaluated for a public defender, or just going Pro-se for the first trial and saving my money for the appeal.(probabally not a good idea,huh?)
Sorry post is so long.....just get worked up a little. Oh yeah, I was in a 23 year marrage with never on instance of the cops ever showing up, and there are a few people who have seen my girlfriend become abusive with me when she has been drinking.
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah
Hi all,this is going to sound crazy, and there's alot of you that won't believe me, but I swear this is the truth. I'm looking for some advice on what I should do, because pre-trial is a month away.I'm charged with assault,(domestic violence)and before you start thinking I'm some kind of scumbag let me state that I was only acting in self defense. Here are the facts....On Oct 30th, 2011, my (Bipolar) girlfriend of about 6 years, began drinking vodka.She had been on the wagon, and involved with AA, up untill about a month before this. She's also been addicted to meth and has gone to prison for possesion during our relationship.Let me state that this situation has happened before,(not every time she drinks, but every time it happens she's been drinking).
She had been trying to hide her drinking, but I can always tell just by the way she starts acting. I called her on it and she became argumentive, and confrontational. I learned a long time ago that there is no reasoning when she is like that, so I just shutup and listened to her rant and rave for the next half hour.I tried to stay calm, and nicely ask her to "just drop it honey" a few times.She started rambling about stuff that was delusional, and soon everything that was wrong in her life was my fault.
She finally said something so outragous that I blurted out that she was a crazy bitch and needed to get back on her medication. I was sitting in a easy chair and she came at me with her fists closed and started hitting me in my face.I reached up to try to grab her arms, but she grabbed on of mine and fell down on me, resticting both of my arms and continued wailing on me.I struggled and pushed her off me and we fell on the floor.At this point I was able to hold her down hoping she would calm down. Instead she got angryier and spit in my face.I yelled to my friend who was in a nearby bedroom to "Call the cops". She said "go ahead, call the cops.You'll be the one going to jail". I said "your the one that started this" and she said " yeah, but you gave me a fat lip" I looked and her top lip was bleeding a little. I was like, ****! I let here go and she went right to the phone and called 911. I just sat there in disbelief as she calmly, and coldly talked to the dispatcher.
Soon the cops were there. They seperated us and heard each side. then one came in and told me that even though she admitted to slapping me first, and that they looked at this as mutual combatants, that I was a pretty big guy and that they thought I was the primary aggressor. So they wrote me a citation, and had her leave.
So anyway, I definitely want to take this to trial but I am still working on saving up the dough for a attorney. The JP (Justice of the peace) said I don't qualify for a public defender, even though I only adverage 30 hours a week, and there are some weeks that I don't even work.(construction)
From what I understand the trial will be a bench trial,because it's in Justice Court,before a JP.I've been told that I will probably be found guilty by this paticular JP. (a women,no offense ladies) and that I will have to appeal the conviction to get it heard in District Court.So I'm looking at double fees, and there is no way that I'm going to have the money for even a retainer by the end of next month.
So any advice would be appreciated, such as defense strategys,getting a postponement, getting re-avaluated for a public defender, or just going Pro-se for the first trial and saving my money for the appeal.(probabally not a good idea,huh?)
Sorry post is so long.....just get worked up a little. Oh yeah, I was in a 23 year marrage with never on instance of the cops ever showing up, and there are a few people who have seen my girlfriend become abusive with me when she has been drinking.


Now who told you that, exactly?

You don't have an attorney, who would at least be able to guide you as to how a particular judge might rule, and yet you (and presumably your misguided friends?) are thinking that the judge's gender automatically predicts your outcome?

You need an attorney. One who will, hopefully, advise you to keep your mouth shut when necessary, and help you minimize the damage.

:cool:
 

Proseguru

Member
It is hard to believe posters who claim that their significant other is "crazy & a maniac" when discussing domestic violence.

If someone had these attributes I would assume that people would stay away from them.
 

commentator

Senior Member
I also love those play by play things ya get, you know, "I gestured toward her and she violently thrust her chin into my fist a couple of times, and then we struggled on the floor and I was only trying to restrain her as I sat on top of her and twisted her arms behind her back, but when the cops came, she said I had hit her...can you believe that???

Get a lawyer, go to some d.v./anger management classes, take your medicine, and by the way, I have never ever seen a problem drinking, meth abusing pot smoking, crack pipe sucking bipolar maniac girlfriend living with a guy who was 100% clean and pure and in church on Sunday and neither has this judge, regardless of his/her sexual orientation! It just doesn't happen. People find people like themselves to spend time with, common interests, you know. So just get an attorney and get this scene over with, get used to it, there will be many in the future.
 
I also love those play by play things ya get, you know, "I gestured toward her and she violently thrust her chin into my fist a couple of times, and then we struggled on the floor and I was only trying to restrain her as I sat on top of her and twisted her arms behind her back, but when the cops came, she said I had hit her...can you believe that???
Get a lawyer, go to some d.v./anger management classes, take your medicine, and by the way, I have never ever seen a problem drinking, meth abusing pot smoking, crack pipe sucking bipolar maniac girlfriend living with a guy who was 100% clean and pure and in church on Sunday and neither has this judge, regardless of his/her sexual orientation! It just doesn't happen. People find people like themselves to spend time with, common interests, you know. So just get an attorney and get this scene over with, get used to it, there will be many in the future.
Wish there was a "like" button on this forum! :) Great post and so incredibly true!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I also love those play by play things ya get, you know, "I gestured toward her and she violently thrust her chin into my fist a couple of times, and then we struggled on the floor and I was only trying to restrain her as I sat on top of her and twisted her arms behind her back, but when the cops came, she said I had hit her...can you believe that???

Get a lawyer, go to some d.v./anger management classes, take your medicine, and by the way, I have never ever seen a problem drinking, meth abusing pot smoking, crack pipe sucking bipolar maniac girlfriend living with a guy who was 100% clean and pure and in church on Sunday and neither has this judge, regardless of his/her sexual orientation! It just doesn't happen. People find people like themselves to spend time with, common interests, you know. So just get an attorney and get this scene over with, get used to it, there will be many in the future.
LOL You do realize that "sexual orientation" has a much different connotation than "gender", yes?
 

commentator

Senior Member
Either way, it doesn't automatically make one stupid! To believe a story like this, orchestrated this way, even the first time you heard it, would be stupid. No, he's not going to do well in court with this. Definitely do not save your money for the appeal, just get a lawyer now and let it play through.
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah
Hi all,this is going to sound crazy, and there's alot of you that won't believe me, but I swear this is the truth. I'm looking for some advice on what I should do, because pre-trial is a month away.I'm charged with assault,(domestic violence)and before you start thinking I'm some kind of scumbag let me state that I was only acting in self defense. Here are the facts....On Oct 30th, 2011, my (Bipolar) girlfriend of about 6 years, began drinking vodka.She had been on the wagon, and involved with AA, up untill about a month before this. She's also been addicted to meth and has gone to prison for possesion during our relationship.Let me state that this situation has happened before,(not every time she drinks, but every time it happens she's been drinking).
She had been trying to hide her drinking, but I can always tell just by the way she starts acting. I called her on it and she became argumentive, and confrontational. I learned a long time ago that there is no reasoning when she is like that, so I just shutup and listened to her rant and rave for the next half hour.I tried to stay calm, and nicely ask her to "just drop it honey" a few times.She started rambling about stuff that was delusional, and soon everything that was wrong in her life was my fault.
She finally said something so outragous that I blurted out that she was a crazy bitch and needed to get back on her medication. I was sitting in a easy chair and she came at me with her fists closed and started hitting me in my face.I reached up to try to grab her arms, but she grabbed on of mine and fell down on me, resticting both of my arms and continued wailing on me.I struggled and pushed her off me and we fell on the floor.At this point I was able to hold her down hoping she would calm down. Instead she got angryier and spit in my face.I yelled to my friend who was in a nearby bedroom to "Call the cops". She said "go ahead, call the cops.You'll be the one going to jail". I said "your the one that started this" and she said " yeah, but you gave me a fat lip" I looked and her top lip was bleeding a little. I was like, ****! I let here go and she went right to the phone and called 911. I just sat there in disbelief as she calmly, and coldly talked to the dispatcher.
Soon the cops were there. They seperated us and heard each side. then one came in and told me that even though she admitted to slapping me first, and that they looked at this as mutual combatants, that I was a pretty big guy and that they thought I was the primary aggressor. So they wrote me a citation, and had her leave.
So anyway, I definitely want to take this to trial but I am still working on saving up the dough for a attorney. The JP (Justice of the peace) said I don't qualify for a public defender, even though I only adverage 30 hours a week, and there are some weeks that I don't even work.(construction)
From what I understand the trial will be a bench trial,because it's in Justice Court,before a JP.I've been told that I will probably be found guilty by this paticular JP. (a women,no offense ladies) and that I will have to appeal the conviction to get it heard in District Court.So I'm looking at double fees, and there is no way that I'm going to have the money for even a retainer by the end of next month.
So any advice would be appreciated, such as defense strategys,getting a postponement, getting re-avaluated for a public defender, or just going Pro-se for the first trial and saving my money for the appeal.(probabally not a good idea,huh?)
Sorry post is so long.....just get worked up a little. Oh yeah, I was in a 23 year marrage with never on instance of the cops ever showing up, and there are a few people who have seen my girlfriend become abusive with me when she has been drinking.
Plead guilty, pay the fine, move out (preferably on your own) work on YOU. Stay away from crazy bipolar people. Take a break from the opposite sex, it won't kill you.
 

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