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ZacMorriss

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My husband was arrested for a dv incident. I know most women say it was an accident but this time it really was. I've told the ADA & ACS workers that it was an accident and didn't want to file charges. The ADA agreed and decided to drop the charges. However, ACS has issued a full stay away order on my behalf against my husband. Can I get this order dropped? As I don't see it necessary and I have just lost my job, cannot afford the bills and rent alone and our daughter cries for her father every time someone rings the doorbell. When I asked the ACS worker to drop the order of protection or at least modify it, she says she cannot do anything about that.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My husband was arrested for a dv incident. I know most women say it was an accident but this time it really was. I've told the ADA & ACS workers that it was an accident and didn't want to file charges. The ADA agreed and decided to drop the charges. However, ACS has issued a full stay away order on my behalf against my husband. Can I get this order dropped? As I don't see it necessary and I have just lost my job, cannot afford the bills and rent alone and our daughter cries for her father every time someone rings the doorbell. When I asked the ACS worker to drop the order of protection or at least modify it, she says she cannot do anything about that.
How did the police find out about this accident?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My husband was arrested for a dv incident. I know most women say it was an accident but this time it really was. I've told the ADA & ACS workers that it was an accident and didn't want to file charges. The ADA agreed and decided to drop the charges. However, ACS has issued a full stay away order on my behalf against my husband. Can I get this order dropped? As I don't see it necessary and I have just lost my job, cannot afford the bills and rent alone and our daughter cries for her father every time someone rings the doorbell. When I asked the ACS worker to drop the order of protection or at least modify it, she says she cannot do anything about that.
It is rather common in DV cases for the victim to recant...As it seems you are doing. If you have children be aware that the state WILL step in to make sure that they, at least, will be safe.
 

ZacMorriss

Junior Member
It is rather common in DV cases for the victim to recant...As it seems you are doing. If you have children be aware that the state WILL step in to make sure that they, at least, will be safe.
They have stepped in. But as far as the children, there is a limited order stating he can have them unsupervised, he just cannot act violent or aggressive in front of them. Which isn't a problem. The case workers agreed after meeting with us, separately, that this was an isolated incident and he was very remorseful. So they lowered the full stay away to a limited one.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
My husband called the ambulance because i was bleeding.
They have stepped in. But as far as the children, there is a limited order stating he can have them unsupervised, he just cannot act violent or aggressive in front of them. Which isn't a problem. The case workers agreed after meeting with us, separately, that this was an isolated incident and he was very remorseful. So they lowered the full stay away to a limited one.
There's nothing you can (or should) do for him or his legal problems. For yourself, I suggest counseling.

I don't know your county, so here is a starting point for all of the social services offices in your state: https://www.health.ny.gov/health_care/medicaid/ldss.htm

You can get emergency assistance with food, unemployment benefits, etc. Good luck. :)
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
My husband called the ambulance because i was bleeding.
bleeding bad enough to warrant calling 911?
Is this the first time your husband has hurt you? Is this the first time he has put his hands on you in anger?

I'm sure your husband is remorseful--most abusers (men or women) are remorseful, even if law enforcement isn't involved.

Rarely is it just an isolated incident. And even if this is the first time he has hurt you/touched you in anger, chances are it will happen again.

Please, please, please....think long and hard about the future, if not for yourself for your child. And yes, if CPS/ACS, feels you are failing to protect the child, they can (and will) swoop in and take your kid(s).
 

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