ad litem

[Patcuprek]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have 50% custody of my son, while awaiting final divorce papers to be finalized. My wife wants to take him out of state, but at present, is not able to do this without my permission.
She is trying to see if she can get an "guardian ad lidum" . I am not familiar with this , but know she is trying to be able to get to be the "custodial" parent and take him out of state to live with her parents. Any information would help.
Thank you

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have 50% custody of my son, while awaiting final divorce papers to be finalized. My wife wants to take him out of state, but at present, is not able to do this without my permission.
She is trying to see if she can get an "guardian ad lidum" . I am not familiar with this , but know she is trying to be able to get to be the "custodial" parent and take him out of state to live with her parents. Any information would help.
Thank you

A Guardian Ad Litum is someone appointed to look out for the best interests of the child; usually an attorney (but not always, in some states).

Even if Mom becomes primary custodial parent though, this does NOT mean that she can relocate the child out of state without permission from either you or - should you fight it - the court.

She will have to prove why moving out of State benefits the child more than having regular contact with you, her father.

So, where is Mom wanting to move?

Are we talking across border towns?

Across the country?

Is she proposing a parenting plan?

 

[Isis1]

A GAL is a good thing. Especially in your instance! A GAL looks to the best interest of the child.

 

[Patcuprek]

Ad lidum

Thank you for this news.
She wants to move to Kansas from California.
Parenting plan not mentioned, although I know she would not stop me from
seeing my son. I certainly do not want to travel to the state of Kansas to see him. He has spent his whole 5 years here and lives with me and my parents on my 50% time. Goes to Montessori until school starts. I pay for this.
Thank you

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for this news.
She wants to move to Kansas from California.
Parenting plan not mentioned, although I know she would not stop me from
seeing my son. I certainly do not want to travel to the state of Kansas to see him. He has spent his whole 5 years here and lives with me and my parents on my 50% time. Goes to Montessori until school starts. I pay for this.
Thank you

Well, you really have two choices.

You can fight the move, or you can consent to the move.

If you consent, I strongly recommend that you insist on Mom paying ALL transportation costs, and that you have VERY generous parenting time including skype/webcam visitation. If you go this route, get it spelled out - I'm talking right down to precise times and days whenever possible.

If you fight, I think you have a good chance of prevailing given what you've written so far. Mom is going to have to convince the GAL (well, really the court - but the GAL's recommendation will carry an awful lot of weight) that the move is in kiddo's best interest. If kiddo is literally living with you 50% of the time, I just can't see a court allowing that to happen unless you are, for whatever reason, unable to be the custodial parent.

 

[Patcuprek]

Ad Litum

Thanks again, my son has a strong relationship with my parents. i.e. my mother took care of him full time the 1st 6 months of his life and he has lived with my parents the last 7 months of this year. (along with wife) . They have always been there for us and helped us financially. I was told by my lawyer that I most likely would not be able to get Custodial Custody because I was the father. Her family has only physically seen him maybe 3 times a year in the last 5 years.

 

[acmb05]

Thanks again, my son has a strong relationship with my parents. i.e. my mother took care of him full time the 1st 6 months of his life and he has lived with my parents the last 7 months of this year. (along with wife) . They have always been there for us and helped us financially. I was told by my lawyer that I most likely would not be able to get Custodial Custody because I was the father. Her family has only physically seen him maybe 3 times a year in the last 5 years.

Then frankly I would be looking at another lawyer because this would tell me that he is not going to fight hard enough for you in this matter

 

[birdbrain53]

HI

I'm in California.

Your STBX will have to convince the court that your child will be better off in Kansas and quite frankly if you have real 50% timeshare then the court is not going to be too accommodating to her.

You need to make sure that you have your ducks in a row, attorney notwithstanding. Don't ever think that something is a slam dunk when you are dealing with family court. There are good judges and lazy judges, prejudiced judges and bored ones.

You and Mom will have to pay a GAL if one is ordered. The GAL is an attorney who is supposed to represent the child. Sometimes you get a good one, sometimes you don't. If a GAL is ordered, then make sure part of the order for a GAL is that you both must interview and approve the attorney for the child.

Sometimes the judge or commissioner will decide to refer you and Ex to mediation or to an evaluator. That's more money BTW, usually split evenly between the parties.

You should have a calendar with both parent's timeshare noted for the court to read. It should be part of the paperwork your attorney files with the court regarding custody.

Your child is 5, probably going to pre-school or kindergarten, depending on when your child's birthday is. Is the school your child is going to close to your home?

Be prepared with a long distance parenting plan. Prepare one as if you are the NCP and child is living in Kansas and prepare another one with Mom as NCP living in Kansas. Also prepare a parenting plan for 50-50 both parties living locally. Include the transportation costs for long distance as part of Mom's expenses. The party who moves away pays the transportation costs. That might put a little cramp in Mom's desire to move. Be very specific in dates and times for visitation, whether local or long distance. You don't want to have to keep going back to court to "clarify" court orders.