adding stipulation/ or ammending court order

[blueboy]

What is the name of your state? ca

My x and I are both ordered to give eachother our addresses within 2 days of a move. My X always lived with her parents and now my daughter tells me that her mom doesn't even have a bed at her grandmas house. That she sleeps at her fiances house most of the time and when she's not with her fiance they share a bed. She also told me that she has started sleeping at her moms fiances house too sometimes.
I want to know his address and I want to know when they are offically moving in with him. I also want to change or ammend our current court order so that my daughter can have some adjustment time before living with her mom and new husband full time. We currently have 50/50 time share.

1)Is she in contempt for living with her fiance and having my daughter there some nights without giving me the address even though she doesn't live there full time?

2) Is there a way for me to get the more time with my daughter because of this and the fact that her mother is getting married? If so do I have to file for a change in visitation or is there a simpler way of getting an ammendment?

I will be doing this without a lawyer.

 

[blueboy]

just bumping myself back up

 

[stealth2]

I dunno. Since Mom isn't actually living with her fiance at this point, I think you may be jumpting the gun. What's "most of the time"? How old is your kiddo? Sometimes their time perceptions can be a bit off. I know some of the stuff my kids come out with (and they're 9 & 11) astound me.

Since it's a change in circumstance, you might be able to get a change in the visitation, but if you've already got 50/50 and it's working well for the child - I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

[blueboy]

Her mom has been staying with her fiance Fri, Sat, and Sunday nights and during the weekdays she stays there once or twice. I also questioned weather my daughter understood the concept of how much time her mom was really not there. I have been calling my daughter a little more often and she'll tell me when her mom is gone. My court order says that she has to tell me with in 48 of a move. She doesn't have a bed at her mothers anymore, she has one at her fiances. Doesn't this constitute a move?

I don't want to take time away from my x to punish her for getting married, I couldn't care less. I just want my daughter to visit them at their new house for a while to get used to living with a new man. I don't feel comfortable with her staying with a man that I have never met, don't know where he lives aside from not living in the same city as my x and I and my daughter has never lived with another man besides me and her grandfather. I don't want to change the court order permanatly I just want it changed while my daughter goes through the transition and then go back to the way things are now.

1) would you say that her staying at her fiances house 4-5 nights a week a change of address? If so could she be found in contempt?

2) Is there a way for me to have my daughter for more time while she gets used to her new stepdad? Say for a time spand of 6 - 12 months have her with me more and slowly go back to the way thing are now.

I hope this is enough info.

 

[stealth2]

1) would you say that her staying at her fiances house 4-5 nights a week a change of address? If so could she be found in contempt?

> You're probably going to need more proof than your daughter's say-so. I get the feeling she's quite young. It's very unlikely a judge is going to either put her on the stand or even talk to her privately and give her testimony much credence. It's sort of a toss-up whether she's living there or not (and as an FYI, I'm really not in agreement with these sort of arrangements when there are minors involved) - has she moved all her stuff there, does she just take an overnight bag, etc. I really do think you're jumping the gun on the contempt thing.

2) Is there a way for me to have my daughter for more time while she gets used to her new stepdad? Say for a time spand of 6 - 12 months have her with me more and slowly go back to the way thing are now.

> I think you will find this difficult to accomplish. I have nothing to back it up, just a gut feeling.

I hope this is enough info.

 

[blueboy]

Thank you for the fast reply. It wasn't what I wanted to hear but thank you for your opinion. I plan on going to legal self help on Monday to see if there is a way for me to do what I want. I wanted to come here to get grounded before I went off on my high horse, but I'll admit I wanted to hear that I had a good chance. I'll let you know what the legal dept. says.

FYI my daughter is 9 just started 4th grade.

 

[stealth2]

My daughter's the same age - we don't start school 'til Monday. They're coming home from the summer tomorrow. I'm already smiling.

Good luck.