adoption

[orly]

why does adoption have to be so final??? Where is the compassion for those who make bad decisions and want to make right their wrongs. What about the childs right to have a relationship with it's natural parents. I think this whole adoption thing is just a control factor. Everyone wants to control the life of a child. What about what is best for the child. My boyfriend has been negligent in the past and made ignorant decisions when he was younger but he now regrets and the "legal" parents will not let him or the grandparents and family see the child. The child is 12 years old and wants to see all her family but spitefully and out of pent up anger and hurt the mother wont allow it. Now the mother is only hurting the child. If the courts believe in a childs right to have a relationship with natural parents as this website states then why do they make adoption so final and put children in the hands of parents that want to take the childs rights away. Furthermore, will they not take into account that there is a substantial amount of money due that was being used as a threat in order to make the father relinquish rights. Thats called bribery and thus an illegal contract is it not???
I need some objective knowledgeable advice here. NY

 

[MySonsMom]

The Father in this case made a decision about the child and it was done.

If there is no contact with this child, how on earth would you know if the child wants to have a relationship with the "other" family?

Adoptions are final because of many reasons. It would be a big mess if they weren't.

Once the child turns 18, and if she wants to pursue relationships with the "other" family, she can do so. Until them, it would be wise for your husband and his family to take a step back. He CHOSE to eliminate his rights and forfeit paying monies to the mother for a reason. They are a family.

I know it may be hard for your hubby and his family to have lost a child, but it's done and over with. He made that decision himself. Knew the consequences AND advantages of his decision.

If he doesn't step back on this issue, he may be faced with a restraining order. The adoptive parents have rights, your hubby does not. That was his choice.

Good luck.