Adoptive father child support

[Mrniceguy85]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm recently divorced and have 2 kids and one is adopted which my ex is the biological mother. I adopted the child because during my marriage my ex asked me if I can adopt the child because the father was never around and had never given a dime and foremost she doesn't want the child to have an anxiety that he is the only one who has a different last name in the house hold. Now that I'm divorced , my ex married the child's biological father and I am the one who is stuck with the child support. Now my ex and the biological father is denying me of seeing the child but I am stuck with the child support. Any help on at least getting rid of the support since they are not allowing me to see the boy anyways?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm recently divorced and have 2 kids and one is adopted which my ex is the biological mother. I adopted the child because during my marriage my ex asked me if I can adopt the child because the father was never around and had never given a dime and foremost she doesn't want the child to have an anxiety that he is the only one who has a different last name in the house hold. Now that I'm divorced , my ex married the child's biological father and I am the one who is stuck with the child support. Now my ex and the biological father is denying me of seeing the child but I am stuck with the child support. Any help on at least getting rid of the support since they are not allowing me to see the boy anyways?

You are pathetic quite frankly. This boy is YOUR child. Mrniceguy? Not so much. What you should do is fight to enforce your parental rights for this child. In other words, step up to the plate and be the father that you are.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm recently divorced and have 2 kids and one is adopted which my ex is the biological mother.

So you have two children with your ex-wife.

I adopted the child because during my marriage my ex asked me if I can adopt the child because the father was never around and had never given a dime and foremost she doesn't want the child to have an anxiety that he is the only one who has a different last name in the house hold.

First off, you adopted because your wife asked you to? What reason did you have for committing yourself to this child?
And then you guys did a stepparent adoption so the child could have to same names as everyone else in the home? Craptacular decision-making, that.

Now that I'm divorced , my ex married the child's biological father and I am the one who is stuck with the child support.

Oh, you mean, the court has ordered you to pay child support for your children? Exactly as it should be.

Now my ex and the biological father is denying me of seeing the child but I am stuck with the child support.

Is there an order custody? What does it say? What have you done to enforce it if one exists? What have you done to obtain an enforceable order if there currently isn't one?
When you were at the adoption hearing, I'm sure the Judge let you know that:
a) If you and mom split up, you could end up with custody of the children (including the adopted one) and Mom could end up as the NCP paying you child support;
and
b) If you and Mom split up, you would still be responsible for child support for both of your legal children.

Any help on at least getting rid of the support since they are not allowing me to see the boy anyways?

No, you took on the full responsibility of being this child's legal parent. Now you have the obligation to support him. If you are being denied access, then you have other legal remedies to pursue.

 

[Proserpina]

Ohiogal. How can I step up if right now I'm still paying for the divorce. It costed me ten grand to finalize the divorce, because that woman doesn't know what she wanted. She kept on askimg me back when she was with someone else already and had to keep on turning her down, and in return she prolonged the divorce kept on asking the decree to be changed everytime something else pops into her head. And I wasn't there during the hearing, she dont want to give me the copy of the adoption right now when I asked her. I thought this site will be helpful, but I guess not. Its full of *******s and bitches that dont have anything else to do but to criticize. I regret joining and sharing my situation to this site. I think it should be named freecriticics.com. I hope you have some real friends who will tell you what kind of bitches and *******s you are.

Grow up.

Pay your child support.

Leave the child alone - hopefully he takes more after Mom than you.

 

[swalsh411]

You're being a little harsh on him. It's not a completely unreasonable question to ask (at least as far as his non-biological child is concerned) because the biological mother and father are now back together.

As for his biological child, clearly he owes support there.

 

[Ohiogal]

You're being a little harsh on him. It's not a completely unreasonable question to ask (at least as far as his non-biological child is concerned) because the biological mother and father are now back together.

As for his biological child, clearly he owes support there.

Harsh? He CHOSE to be daddy -- legally and in every other way that matters to this child. NOW he wants to dump this child and he shouldn't have to pay child support for him because he is NOT biologically the father. It is completely unreasonable to ask if he actually cared about the child and loved the child and was putting his child first. Which he isn't. Which means he is a pathetic father in every way that counts.

 

[Proserpina]

You're being a little harsh on him. It's not a completely unreasonable question to ask (at least as far as his non-biological child is concerned) because the biological mother and father are now back together.

As for his biological child, clearly he owes support there.

What's harsh about telling a legal parent that he's responsible for supporting his child?

Colour me confused.

(Would it be okay by you if all adoptive parents were allowed to forego supporting their adopted children?)

 

[LdiJ]

What's harsh about telling a legal parent that he's responsible for supporting his child?

Colour me confused.

(Would it be okay by you if all adoptive parents were allowed to forego supporting their adopted children?)

Nothing is wrong about telling a legal parent that he's responsible for supporting his child. However, you have to have some sympathy for the guy. He doesn't know how the law works. All he knows is that his ex is now married to the child's biological father, won't let him see the child, but he still has to pay child support. I don't fault him for asking the question.

 

[Ohiogal]

Nothing is wrong about telling a legal parent that he's responsible for supporting his child. However, you have to have some sympathy for the guy. He doesn't know how the law works. All he knows is that his ex is now married to the child's biological father, won't let him see the child, but he still has to pay child support. I don't fault him for asking the question.

I disagree. You don't have to have sympathy for someone who won't enforce his legal rights and instead his first solution is to dispose of the child he adopted. Children are not trash to be thrown away when it becomes inconvenient. I fault him. He was married to mom. His divorce decree should include visitation for his children. If he chooses not to have the court enforce him that is on him. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse for deciding that the best thing to do is to treat a child like nothing more than a disposable piece of trash. I have absolutely no sympathy for this so called man who wants nothing to do with his child because it is no longer easy or convenient.

 

[LdiJ]

I disagree. You don't have to have sympathy for someone who won't enforce his legal rights and instead his first solution is to dispose of the child he adopted. Children are not trash to be thrown away when it becomes inconvenient. I fault him. He was married to mom. His divorce decree should include visitation for his children. If he chooses not to have the court enforce him that is on him. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse for deciding that the best thing to do is to treat a child like nothing more than a disposable piece of trash. I have absolutely no sympathy for this so called man who wants nothing to do with his child because it is no longer easy or convenient.

I normally agree 100%. I simply have some sympathy for the guy because the mom is now married to the biological father and the child is now living with both of his biological parents. Its a twist on the norm that WILL have emotional repercussions for the child. We all know that mom and bio dad are going to teach the child that bio dad is his "real" father, if the child isn't already old enough that he knows that himself.

 

[Ohiogal]

I normally agree 100%. I simply have some sympathy for the guy because the mom is now married to the biological father and the child is now living with both of his biological parents. Its a twist on the norm that WILL have emotional repercussions for the child. We all know that mom and bio dad are going to teach the child that bio dad is his "real" father, if the child isn't already old enough that he knows that himself.

Bio dad is NOT his real father. Bio dad is his biological father. OP would be the "real" father if he actually gave a dang about his child and wasn't just interested in his wallet. Living with the biological parents has very little to do with the legal issues in this case and maybe even less to do with the EMOTIONAL issues in this case. Emotionally for the child that is. How old is the child? Why is OP's first thought to his wallet and not to the relationship with his son? Oh yeah, because he never cared about the child to begin with and never considered the adopted child to be HIS child. No sympathy for the guy at all. He is trash and pathetic and has shown that he is not a real father in any sense of the word. Congrats to him.

 

[CSO286]

LDiJ, I get where you're coming from. Really, I do. But I would have felt far more sympathy for him if he had been asking how to gain access to his legal child despite mom and bio-dad's efforts to cut him out of the child's life rather than looking to say, "since they won't let me see him at all, how can I get rid of this pesky child support obligation, too?"

But he made a commitment to the child--regardless of what Mom may have done after their breakup.

He promised to be there for the child--emotionally, physically, and financially.

 

[LdiJ]

LDiJ, I get where you're coming from. Really, I do. But I would have felt far more sympathy for him if he had been asking how to gain access to his legal child despite mom and bio-dad's efforts to cut him out of the child's life rather than looking to say, "since they won't let me see him at all, how can I get rid of this pesky child support obligation, too?"

But he made a commitment to the child--regardless of what Mom may have done after their breakup.

He promised to be there for the child--emotionally, physically, and financially.

I just see so many people coming on to these forums asking questions about undoing adoptions after divorce that its clear to me that people honestly do not understand the ramifications of stepparent adoption before they make the decision to do a stepparent adoption. I usually don't feel much sympathy for any of them...but this one feels different to me. The whole situation has to be pretty painful. Divorce is painful enough, but this adds a whole other element.

 

[CSO286]

I just see so many people coming on to these forums asking questions about undoing adoptions after divorce that its clear to me that people honestly do not understand the ramifications of stepparent adoption before they make the decision to do a stepparent adoption. I usually don't feel much sympathy for any of them...but this one feels different to me. The whole situation has to be pretty painful. Divorce is painful enough, but this adds a whole other element.

No, but based on OP's previous posts, I questioned why exactly he adopted the child. He didn't seem to express a strong connection to the child, rather he stated:

I'm recently divorced and have 2 kids and one is adopted which my ex is the biological mother. I adopted the child because during my marriage my ex asked me if I can adopt the child because the father was never around and had never given a dime and foremost she doesn't want the child to have an anxiety that he is the only one who has a different last name in the house hold.

He didn't appear have any strong personal reasons for the adoption. He did it by the seat of his pants, with very little regard for the child's emotional health and is not dealing appropriately with the fallout. In court for a stepparent adoption, the adopting parent is asked whether they are prepared to pay child support in the event of a divorce, or if they are prepared to become the custodial parent should something happen to the other parent, or the marriage fall apart.

Given just what appears, here, I tend to fall into the Very Little Sympathy for OP Club.

 

[single317dad]

Based on the information provided, the only person I feel sorry for is the child who has three-- count 'em THREE-- craptastic parents.