adultery/separation/divorce

[bam]

should i prove spouse involved in affair before serving separation papers?

reside in nc, married 16 years, 2 children. spouse is retired military. wants to go separate ways... not interested in custody...he is tired of husband/dad responsibilities. he recently moved out. strong allegations were presented that he has been having affair with other woman (2 kids) who was kicked out by her spouse after discovery. saw her vehicle at location where spouse was staying. oher incriminating evidence too. should i get physical proof before serving him separation papers? since he has already left... do i destroy any chances for alimony by not serving him separation papers? what about continuing to engage in sex? is abandonment (emotional & physical) an issue in this picture? significant disparity between incomes since he has military retirement on top of 2nd career income. i am professionally educated. we have lived a comfortable lifestyle. still in love with this betraying fool.

 

[carebearsmom]

In searching several other websites I found that in the past you were required to have a "reason" for divorce and that reason would pretty much determine who got what - like if your husband had an affair - it pretty much guarenteed you almost anything you want. However, some things have changed and unfortunately it does not always go like this. I would see no reason for you to spend the extra money to "prove" his affairs - you already know that he doesn't want the house, children, etc. Decide on what you want and think is fair and serve him with separation papers. Proving his affairs will not change what you or he get (normally) in the eyes of the law.