adultry

[jh241d]

I am 33 years old, reside in Maryland,
My situation in brief is as follows:
I have been married for 8 years, my wife and I have two children, ages 5 and 1. My wife is a stay-at-home mother, while I am the sole wage earner.
The problem: Without explanation or justification, the simple truth is that I have been having an affair for the last 13 months with a hospital co-worker.
I am planning to tell my wife all about this and expect a divorce to follow. I want to provide for my our two wonderfull children and make it possible for her to continue to stay at home with them. My first thoought was to just give her whatever she wanted. I would move nearby, so as to be able to continue to see my children often, and take them to school. I am completely without knowledge on what to do. Ive seen advice on the internet that frankly sounds suspect, including:
1) Lie about the adulttry. Just indicate a budding love interest without actual consumation
2) Tell your wife but dont leave. That could lead to a desertion accusation
3) Avoid mediation
4) Get a lawyer, your going to be hit hard, as you are in the wrong

Sir, I realize that the final statement might very well be the truth. I have fallen in love with a woman other than my wife, and I could explain for days why and how it happened. I wish to continue the relationship with my co-worker. I wish to continue to see my children.

I realize that this e-mail is a bit rambling, so i will close with the question:
How much trouble am I in for from a legal standpoint?
Thank you, I appreciate any words that you may offer

 

[bummer]

I am in a very similar situation...
35 years old, married 11 years, 3 kids, my
wife stayed home.

The difference is she was the one being unfaithful.

Given this, here are few things I have learned:

- She has all the power. If we go to court I will
get "vanilla visitation" (i.e 1 night a week, every
other weekend), and have to pay her full child support
and alimony. This is mainly because she stayed home.
The most important thing to me is to
get to see my kids, so we are not going to court.
We have agreed on joint custody, an equitable child
support and a lump sum alimony. From her perspective
there were no consequences to the infidelity!!! BTW,
she never told me about her other MEN, I found out
on my own.

- As far as telling your wife, I don't have a response,
however, DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT SOME FORM OF AGREEMENT!!!

- My wife and I went through mediation, I am not sure how
much good it did. The mediators just sat there and
kept us from killing each other and commented on the
legal aspects involved. They will draw up an agreement,
which we take to our own lawyers and then sign. In
the long run, mediation is cheaper than court.

- I am happy that you have fallen in love, however, what
kind of relationship do you expect to have with a
woman that would sleep with a married man?? What kind
of a relationship can she expect to have with a man
who will cheat on his wife?? How do either one of you
think the other will change??

In a nutshell, if you truly want to see your kids you are
going to have to pay up. Good luck.

bummer