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Advice wanted/Scared ex will get unsupervised visits

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THXFelicia

Guest
What is the name of your state? Ca
Please advise!! Case background: Biological father convicted of felony child abuse against child when child was 3 months old. Currently biofather has supervised visitation (my husband or myself supervising) with child, that met 2 times a month. When living in the same state, biofather attended the supervised visits, and pays his ordered support. Child has no idea who biofather really is, calls him by his first name. Child has no interest in biofather due to the fact that no parent-child relationship exists. My husband has been daddy and has raised him since as long as child can remember. I am incredibly frightened of the biofather being granted unsupervised visits with my child. The court paperwork states that a particular court has jurisdiction (different state from where I live now)--is it possible to change venues to state where child and I have resided for over a year? Also, court decree says that the issue of unsupervised visits can be revisited 60 days past the start of kindergarten--this means next fall. Is he likely to get unsupervised at this point, and how does that work? We live on opposite ends of country now. Are unsupervised visits begun slowly with small increments, or will the fact that we live far away make the judge grant the biofather longer (since it will be more infrequent) visits. I am desperate for any advice or input, and am at a loss as to how to protect my child when judges seem intent on the abusive biofather's interests--not best interests of child.
 


The It

Member
All this means is that evidence must be provided by both sides to determine the extent of visitation. If BF has been convicted of abuse, this will weigh very heavilly on the outcome of the revisted case. If you have serious concerns, document them extensively and submit them to the court via an attorney who will work with you to provide the safest environment for your child. As parents, we must ALWAYS look out for the best interests of our children.


editted for spelling ("weigh" instead of "way")
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
Would your husband want to adopt him?

Well, if you don't want him to be a father to your child, the child doesn't consider him a father, and he has no real relationship,why not see if biodad will agree to a termination of parental rights and letyour husband adopt him? That way the man your child considers daddy will have the legal right to raise your child if something happens to you.
 
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THXFelicia

Guest
I would love for my husband to legally adopt my son, and my husband would love to legally adopt him. We offered this option to the biological father, as well as told the biological father that he would no longer have any financial responsibilites. The biological father said no. The biological father basically kept what he had done a secret. His own brothers (and most likely his new wife, who just gave birth to a child last month) do not know what the situation really was. They believe I just was an 'evil' woman who suddenly divorced and took their poor brother's child away from him. To let my husband adopt him, he would have to have some serious explaining to do to his friends/family--who right now give him lots of sympathy about not being a part of 'his' boy's life. He has some serious mental problems, I believe, and is very scary. His abuse was discovered in the month of October. That same year he won Employee of The Year in December. He was/is described as charming, wonderful, extremely well-liked---which is the most frightening. These type people are the ones who get away with doing terrible things, because no-one would believe them capable. The thing I would like most in my life is for my husband to adopt him, and to know that my son was safe. Having the knowledge that the abusive biofather will probably eventually be granted unsupervised visits with my little boy is very hard to live with.
 
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THXFelicia

Guest
Question about Juvenile court.

The court case between the biofather and myself has always been heard in juvenile court, due to the biofather's abuse of the child. I am wondering if juvenile court typically rules differently (harsher/more lenient, etc.) than a family court? Also, is it more difficult to get a juvenile court to 'release' the case to a court in the custodial parent's state? Any info would be appreciated.
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
THXFelicia said:
What is the name of your state? Ca
Please advise!! Case background: Biological father convicted of felony child abuse against child when child was 3 months old. Currently biofather has supervised visitation (my husband or myself supervising) with child, that met 2 times a month. When living in the same state, biofather attended the supervised visits, and pays his ordered support. Child has no idea who biofather really is, calls him by his first name. Child has no interest in biofather due to the fact that no parent-child relationship exists. My husband has been daddy and has raised him since as long as child can remember. I am incredibly frightened of the biofather being granted unsupervised visits with my child. The court paperwork states that a particular court has jurisdiction (different state from where I live now)--is it possible to change venues to state where child and I have resided for over a year?

**Not if the bio father still lives in the originating state. In fact, to terminate his rights, you'd have to go to that state to do it, which is to your advantage, since they know his history.

Also, court decree says that the issue of unsupervised visits can be revisited 60 days past the start of kindergarten--this means next fall. Is he likely to get unsupervised at this point, and how does that work?

**No one can tell you what a judge will decide.

We live on opposite ends of country now. Are unsupervised visits begun slowly with small increments, or will the fact that we live far away make the judge grant the biofather longer (since it will be more infrequent) visits. I am desperate for any advice or input, and am at a loss as to how to protect my child when judges seem intent on the abusive biofather's interests--not best interests of child.
**How long has it been since bio dad has seen the child? Does he pay support consistently?
 

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