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After court question

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amyrosew

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new york

Now I went to court, and the judge postponed the case because my boyfriends mother, my daughters Biological fathers mother, made a fool of herself on the stands and basically said she had no reason why she couldn't come over to our house. So basically we got our way, but there was still a visitation schedule that the court order and we don't have a problem fallowing. My fear is that when we go back into court in January, that she will lie under oath like she did at our trial, but at the time we had no way to prove it except the phone records we had, and we never got our chance to prove she was lying because the judge pulled the lawyers into his office even before my boyfriends mom could get of the stands because she contradicted her own petition on the stands. But what I fear is that when we go back to court she will tell lies on how we were mean to her and rude to her or wouldn't let her see our daughter on her appointed days at her appointed times. I'm worried that she will tell them that all we did was bicker with her and demean her at every chance we get.

So here's my question, what, if anything can I do to prevent her from being able to say these things? I was talking to my boyfriend and he said that we could try video taping her sessions with our daughter, though when I asked someone I know who is studying law she wasn't so sure that we could do that without written consent, or we could try tape recording her sessions with us, because that wouldn't necessarily need any kind of consent.

I know it sounds mean, and it doesn't sound right, but I'm protecting myself in case she tries any of this. If people want I can explain the whole thing, but if you could just provide me with the answers i need to ensure the truth gets told that would be great, and i am sorry if this hits a nerve with anyone, i don't mean to.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new york

Now I went to court, and the judge postponed the case because my boyfriends mother, my daughters Biological fathers mother, made a fool of herself on the stands and basically said she had no reason why she couldn't come over to our house. So basically we got our way, but there was still a visitation schedule that the court order and we don't have a problem fallowing. My fear is that when we go back into court in January, that she will lie under oath like she did at our trial, but at the time we had no way to prove it except the phone records we had, and we never got our chance to prove she was lying because the judge pulled the lawyers into his office even before my boyfriends mom could get of the stands because she contradicted her own petition on the stands. But what I fear is that when we go back to court she will tell lies on how we were mean to her and rude to her or wouldn't let her see our daughter on her appointed days at her appointed times. I'm worried that she will tell them that all we did was bicker with her and demean her at every chance we get.

So here's my question, what, if anything can I do to prevent her from being able to say these things? I was talking to my boyfriend and he said that we could try video taping her sessions with our daughter, though when I asked someone I know who is studying law she wasn't so sure that we could do that without written consent, or we could try tape recording her sessions with us, because that wouldn't necessarily need any kind of consent.

I know it sounds mean, and it doesn't sound right, but I'm protecting myself in case she tries any of this. If people want I can explain the whole thing, but if you could just provide me with the answers i need to ensure the truth gets told that would be great, and i am sorry if this hits a nerve with anyone, i don't mean to.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
If she is going to be visiting in your home, then you might want to have another adult present during the visits. (other than the child's parents or stepparents). You can make it very casual. She will be less likely to lie in that instance.

Make sure that you keep good records of the visits....if she shows, when she arrives, when she leaves etc. Document any signficant that happens during the visits as well. If she chooses not to exercise a visit, then document any reason she gives.
 

truebluemd

Senior Member
Why not make it someplace a little more public? That way, she isnt in your home, and there are unbiased witnesses around.
 
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meanyjack

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new york

Now I went to court, and the judge postponed the case because my boyfriends mother, my daughters Biological fathers mother, made a fool of herself on the stands and basically said she had no reason why she couldn't come over to our house. So basically we got our way, but there was still a visitation schedule that the court order and we don't have a problem fallowing. My fear is that when we go back into court in January, that she will lie under oath like she did at our trial, but at the time we had no way to prove it except the phone records we had, and we never got our chance to prove she was lying because the judge pulled the lawyers into his office even before my boyfriends mom could get of the stands because she contradicted her own petition on the stands. But what I fear is that when we go back to court she will tell lies on how we were mean to her and rude to her or wouldn't let her see our daughter on her appointed days at her appointed times. I'm worried that she will tell them that all we did was bicker with her and demean her at every chance we get.
I would also add that if the person is constantly lying on the stand, then have the lawyer prove it (which the attorney shouldn't have a problem doing), then have the attorney make a verbal motion for sanctions and another for contempt for perjury. But it appears the person on the stand already has done a bang-up job of destroying any credibility with the Judge.
 

BL

Senior Member
I asked you if you could come back on your thread about before you went to court .

In any event , the court matter was rescheduled .

Did the Judge ORDER visitations ?

Did you agree to visits , or is this just a verbal agreement the the Grand can come to your home and visit ?

Unless the Court Orders video/audio taping , then you should not do this .

The grand has already demonstrated to the court that her stories don't match up .
 

amyrosew

Junior Member
It sounds weird, but the judge didn't really order visitation, it was agreed upon, and then a schedule was submitted to the court.

The attorneys thought it was a good idea to agree to the visitation, but they have been pushing for us to settle out of court sense the beginning. The only reason I agreed with this is because it was exactly what we were agreeing with, that she could come over and see our daughter anytime she wanted, at our house, that she couldn't just take our daughter and go off gallivanting, or taking her to her house.

We could do it in a more public place, and if we end up moving like we may have to, our circumstances will dictate that we have to do it at a neutral area.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
You were told to NOT agree to visitation, why did you agree? You just set the precedent for her to have court ordered visitation....
 

amyrosew

Junior Member
It sounds weird, but the judge didn't really order visitation, but said that we could pause the trial and set up visitation, or continue with it, we agreed to the pause in the trail, and then a schedule of visitation was submitted to the court.

The attorneys thought it was a good idea to agree to the visitation, but they have been pushing for us to settle out of court sense the beginning. The only reason I agreed with this is because it was exactly what we were agreeing with, that she could come over and see our daughter anytime she wanted, at our house, that she couldn't just take our daughter and go off gallivanting, or taking her to her house.

We could do it in a more public place, and if we end up moving like we may have to, our circumstances will dictate that we have to do it at a neutral area, as weird as that sounds, but that part gets complicated if we have to move.
 

BL

Senior Member
That agreement is likely to be entered into an order of stipulation , unless next time you are in court , or you talk to your attorney and change or withdraw your agreement .

Stipulating the the grandmother can come visit " ANY TIME " is NOT a good agreement .

To add , then at your home , the order becomes at your home .

You can not change it to a public place unilaterally ( that is you can not change it outside of court order ) .

This kind of agreement is poorly done .

If it's not signed by a Judge , you'd better have a good long thought on what and how the agreement should be done , and if your lawyer allows this to be entered this way , the lawyer isn't very good .

You'd be back here in a hurry complaining .

You either don't agree , or reword the agreement and set specific dates and times , and where they will take place .

You're giving grandma way too much ground to say " ANY TIME " .
 

amyrosew

Junior Member
That agreement is likely to be entered into an order of stipulation , unless next time you are in court , or you talk to your attorney and change or withdraw your agreement .

Stipulating the the grandmother can come visit " ANY TIME " is NOT a good agreement .

To add , then at your home , the order becomes at your home .

You can not change it to a public place unilaterally ( that is you can not change it outside of court order ) .

This kind of agreement is poorly done .

If it's not signed by a Judge , you'd better have a good long thought on what and how the agreement should be done , and if your lawyer allows this to be entered this way , the lawyer isn't very good .

You'd be back here in a hurry complaining .

You either don't agree , or reword the agreement and set specific dates and times , and where they will take place .

You're giving grandma way too much ground to say " ANY TIME " .


Sorry I miss spoke, I didn't mean that she could come over anytime by the court order, we have dates and times set, and the judge said could be changed at the agreement of the two parties, in other words, her first visitation is Monday from 5 to 7 at our house, if both parties agree with a change it can be changed. To my knowledge the judge didn't sign the agreement.

My agreement with this was sketchy, my boyfriend kept saying that he wanted it to get done with and we argued about it for about an hour. I still have my disagreements with it. I do believe i need a new lawyer because before and after the case i couldn't find her, and when i had questions about the agreement she was no were to be found, i had to discus it with my boyfriends lawyer, who was more open to have me then my lawyer was open to him. But of coarse she wouldn't give me any legal advise because i wasnt her client.

I do believe that we at least need one lawyer because my lawyer doesn't talk to his lawyer and my lawyer doesn't talk to him, which i think is a necessity because its not like were against each other we are on the same side.

so how would i go a bouts getting a new lawyer, getting ride of mine and fixing this mess, or is it to late and i have to lay in the bed i made?
 

BL

Senior Member
Why on earth do you and your boyfriend have different lawyers , when you two live under the same roof ?

Then on top of that you and your boyfriend disagree on visitations , then both of your lawyers do not talk to each other ?

What a mess .


On top of that you can change the order if the party(s) agree . :eek:
 

amyrosew

Junior Member
yea it is a huge mess. And we have two separate lawyers because the public defenders office said we should have two separate lawyers, when we disagreed like a week later his lawyer called us, and talked him into it. And they didnt talk to each other the only time they did was when the judge pulled them into his chambers. its a huge mess thats spiraling out of control.
 
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