Agreements between parents vs court hearing

[castepmom]

My husband and I live in California and we have questions regarding which way to proceed regarding child visitation and support of his 13 year old daugther.

In the beginning of October, his daugther came to us and asked to stay longer instead of just every other weekend. After talking it over with his ex, we came to an agreement between us of every other weekend and 2 to 4 days during the week.

We put it in writing just so there would be no misunderstandings later on. My husband and I want to make this agreement into a court order and his ex is resisting. We are contapliaing taking her back into court to settle this in with a judge or through court ordered mediation because she won't go on her own -- we have asked more then once.

Would it be better to ask her to sign this agreement between us (if she will) and have it notiarized so it is legal and make it a stipulation to the orginal court order and discuss child support later? Or can we agree on both and have that agreement made into a court order?

I would like to have her sign this out of court and go back for a judge to decide on the child support, so she can't dispute it but my husband would like the two of them to agree and leave the courts out of it. Which is the wiser or is there a better way?

FYI -- hiring an attorney is out of the question, because we have three other child besides his daugther and still pay child support even though she is with us most of the time.

Thank you in advance for any help offered.

 

[LadyBlu]

The ONLY way any agreement can be or will be legal in the eyes of the Judge is the ones that he/she has signed and agreed is fair and in the best interest of the child. No matter how you draw up any agreement between the three of you, it isnt worth the paper it is written on if they Judge has not signed it.

 

[castepmom]

Another Question

I understand what you are saying but is that for both custody/visitation and child support? The schedule we have now is a 50/50 split but we are concerning about the child support.

If we can all agree on an amount, can that be stipulated into the court order. I have a disc from Nolo Press on calculating child support so I can find a "range" that would be along the same guidelines as court but would save us the hassle.

Thanks again!

 

[LadyBlu]

Re: Another Question

I understand what you are saying but is that for both custody/visitation and child support? The schedule we have now is a 50/50 split but we are concerning about the child support.

If we can all agree on an amount, can that be stipulated into the court order. I have a disc from Nolo Press on calculating child support so I can find a "range" that would be along the same guidelines as court but would save us the hassle.

Thanks again!

It doesnt matter who types it up, write it up, agrees to it etc.. if the judge hasnt signed it it is worthless.. So if you all can come up with the agreement out of court about the visitation/custody, then fine.. take that agreement before the judge and he can sign it.. the child support will have to be within the guidelines of the state in order for the judge to agree to that.