What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Oregon
Hello,
I live in Oregon and have a 77 year old alcoholic father who lives in CA. His alcoholism has been getting worse as each year passes and this last October we had to bring him up to live with us for a couple of months because he was falling down in his house and driving while under the influence. While he was up here we were able to get him to a doctor, who said he was malnourished and prescribed Thiamin to help weakness in his legs caused by poor nutrition as well as told us to give him three cans of a nutritional supplement a day also. For the first part of his stay here he literally could not walk and we had to get him a walker. After the couple of months of being sober, he was able to walk again and wanted to go home to CA to be in “his” home. Since mentally he was fine while he was sober, I did not want to argue with him and have him resent me and frankly did not know if I could muster a case to have him declared unfit to take care of himself. Was hoping he would go back and I could talk him into selling his house willfully, but in reality I knew once he was back in CA with no support except ”friends” and a sister of mine who is unable to take care of herself due to her own addiction problems that he would not be sober long.
In addition, he gives these “friends” money and has a “girlfriend” who has been in and out of mental hospitals constantly and is on medicine to help whatever it is that she has wrong with her. My dad spends money paying some of her bills because she cannot work because of her mental state. Per my dad, he needs her around because she is a warm body and he loves sex. His days are literally centered around alcohol and a well known drug used for sexual disfunction in men. So much so, that this girlfriend has even stolen things from his house that he knows about, but it does not matter to him because he wants a “warm body”. He rationalizes that she is “better” now. The police have been out to the house on more then one occasion per my dad’s own admission and once found her with a knife acting irrationally and telling people that my dad was trying to kill her. Despite all of this, he has said on several occasions that he might ask her to marry him because he needs someone to take care of him. Within the last two months he has had another driving accident, but this time involving another car. He does not remember what happened other then he passed out in a fast food parking lot and split his head open. He was bleeding, but tried to drive home. While doing so, he hit another car. He was out cold and only knows he woke up the next morning in a hospital. I still do not know the extent of the damage or injuries to the other car. He is scheduled for a court date on April 19th, when I am hoping he will lose his license for good. His money is again dwindling because he routinely takes out lumps of cash from his account and buys alcohol and gives cash to the girlfriend and friends.
We have not filed his taxes yet because he has not been coherent enough to send me all of the information I need to do the returns for him. I called him yesterday and he was sleeping at 5:30 in the afternoon and was incoherent. He could not even understand what I was asking him for and did not remember the last time we talked about him sending it up here.
Does this sound like I need to intervene legally? Even if he loses his license I am not sure how to keep him from driving if he is down there. With my sister a drug addict and friends who are not friends, I do not know of anyone down there that can adequately care for him or try to keep him in line. If I need to intervene, what steps do I take to do it legally?
Hello,
I live in Oregon and have a 77 year old alcoholic father who lives in CA. His alcoholism has been getting worse as each year passes and this last October we had to bring him up to live with us for a couple of months because he was falling down in his house and driving while under the influence. While he was up here we were able to get him to a doctor, who said he was malnourished and prescribed Thiamin to help weakness in his legs caused by poor nutrition as well as told us to give him three cans of a nutritional supplement a day also. For the first part of his stay here he literally could not walk and we had to get him a walker. After the couple of months of being sober, he was able to walk again and wanted to go home to CA to be in “his” home. Since mentally he was fine while he was sober, I did not want to argue with him and have him resent me and frankly did not know if I could muster a case to have him declared unfit to take care of himself. Was hoping he would go back and I could talk him into selling his house willfully, but in reality I knew once he was back in CA with no support except ”friends” and a sister of mine who is unable to take care of herself due to her own addiction problems that he would not be sober long.
In addition, he gives these “friends” money and has a “girlfriend” who has been in and out of mental hospitals constantly and is on medicine to help whatever it is that she has wrong with her. My dad spends money paying some of her bills because she cannot work because of her mental state. Per my dad, he needs her around because she is a warm body and he loves sex. His days are literally centered around alcohol and a well known drug used for sexual disfunction in men. So much so, that this girlfriend has even stolen things from his house that he knows about, but it does not matter to him because he wants a “warm body”. He rationalizes that she is “better” now. The police have been out to the house on more then one occasion per my dad’s own admission and once found her with a knife acting irrationally and telling people that my dad was trying to kill her. Despite all of this, he has said on several occasions that he might ask her to marry him because he needs someone to take care of him. Within the last two months he has had another driving accident, but this time involving another car. He does not remember what happened other then he passed out in a fast food parking lot and split his head open. He was bleeding, but tried to drive home. While doing so, he hit another car. He was out cold and only knows he woke up the next morning in a hospital. I still do not know the extent of the damage or injuries to the other car. He is scheduled for a court date on April 19th, when I am hoping he will lose his license for good. His money is again dwindling because he routinely takes out lumps of cash from his account and buys alcohol and gives cash to the girlfriend and friends.
We have not filed his taxes yet because he has not been coherent enough to send me all of the information I need to do the returns for him. I called him yesterday and he was sleeping at 5:30 in the afternoon and was incoherent. He could not even understand what I was asking him for and did not remember the last time we talked about him sending it up here.
Does this sound like I need to intervene legally? Even if he loses his license I am not sure how to keep him from driving if he is down there. With my sister a drug addict and friends who are not friends, I do not know of anyone down there that can adequately care for him or try to keep him in line. If I need to intervene, what steps do I take to do it legally?