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Alcoholic Parent

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MA
This is, as my name implies...complicated. I will do my best to distill it. Friend of mine left his wife (alcoholic) about a year ago. Was not neat and tidy, as he admitted to having an affair. He could not bring himself to take his kids from her, as she swore she would stop drinking, and he felt they needed their mother. He has faithfully paid every single bill for the family, and then some...pretty much leaving himself with enough to get by. Wife and kids are still in family home. The wife and he are not on good terms, but they have a good visitation schedule (17, almost 18-year old son and 11 year old daughter). He has them every other weekend from Friday to Sunday, and on Tuesday and Thursday nights for homework and dinner. Son is leaving for college (in state) soon. He just told dad that mom is NOT sober, and that she is a "monster" and he is afraid to leave his little sister alone with mom. Mom won't let Dad in the house. As classic co-dependent, he has felt guilty for not helping her quit, etc, and does not push the issue when she gets unreasonable. Now he is scared for his kids. Mom claims to have consulted atty, and said he would receive papers months ago. I suspect no papers yet cos she has a great deal going, he pays everything. He has not seen atty. What is step #1. He really does not want to "twist the knife" as he says by taking the kids after leaving her, but he wants her to quit drinking and he wants his kids safe. Any suggestions?

The first step is to file for divorce. If the son is that worried then he will testify for dad, Dad can request to have Temp custody and ask the judge to order her into rehab. Once completed then he can consider filing, or sgreeing to a change in custody. Guilt or no guilt if that child is not safe he needs to take her.

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