Alcoholic Step-Father

[jaguirre2001]

What is the name of your state? California

I have 3 younger brothers who live with our mother, and their step father. He is an alcoholic. He is not violent. He does display alcoholic behavior, relieving himself on the floor of the laundry room, falling asleep outside, and disapearing for days at a time while on drinking sprees. Losing job after job, causing them to almost lose their home. I know this will cause emotional harm to the boys (ages 17,13,& 9). The children already have problems in school, and with anger. He's been around for the past 4 years. They are upset with the situation, and want to leave. The mother is in denial. (Funny thing is her father was a violent alcoholic) What can I do. I don't want to report the situation only to have them put in Foster homes or something. I am their 24 year old brother. The father lives in a different city, and has not held a stable job for 5 years, owes 100k in back support. The kids would not want to live with him. Can i do anything to get them out of this situation. Even if it requires them living with me. It is already certain that the 17yr old will come live with me ASAP, but the other two ???? Please advise

 

[Illinois Parent]

I admire your intentions, obvious maturity and concern for your younger brothers. The only advice I can give is that you contact an attorney and seek true, legal advice. Most attorneys will give a free consult. Even if it cost you a hundred dollars, I suspect it would pay you a lot of piece of mind, if nothing else. The hardest part you are facing right now is not knowing what you can and can not do. Contacting your local department of human services might also give you some information. They may be able to realistically help you outline your options.

Have you talked to your mother about the possibility of then coming to stay with you? Perhaps if you can find out how to collect some of the money owed by the father for back support, she would be willing to allow this, and even be able and willing to help you financially support yourself and them?

If the only thing you can do is to be there for them from a distance, providing a safe, neutral place for them to visit you, you will be doing more than anyone could expect from a 24 year old brother. Good luck to you and let us know how things work out for you.