Alimony and Social Security Retirement Calif

[LdiJ]

But for how long? You say he told you that he would pay for the rest of your life - what did the COURT order? That's what matters.

In post 13 I think that she was specific that it was court ordered to be until one of them died.

 

[Zigner]

In post 13 I think that she was specific that it was court ordered to be until one of them died.

...he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action.

The promise was oral only.

Prior to post #13, the OP twice stated that the "promise" of lifetime alimony was an oral promise only. In post 13 the OP stated that alimony was court ordered, and in a separate sentence stated: "It was to last until either my ex or I died." I believe that, based upon the OP's two statements that the lifetime alimony was an oral promise, and the OP's separating the statement that alimony was court ordered from the statement that it was supposed to last until one or the other died, a further clarification is warranted.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

In return he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action.

This is what the op wrote in post #1.

 

[not2cleverRed]

This is what the op wrote in post #1.

Post #1 and post #13 are incompatible.

I think Flower needs to get her divorce decree and any other court documents and actually read them.

 

[t74]

Actually, I think you and a trusted child need to sit down with an attorney need to go over it as you are getting to the point that you are likely going to need assistance with both living arrangements and finances in the future. The person who will be responsiible for assisting you, OP, needs to understand what is going on.

 

[Sw3tflower]

You are right. It does sound like I contradicted myself. To clear that up, the oral promise was made while trying to reach a settlement. The court order said alimony would continue until either he or I died. Since the oral promise and court order both agreed alimony would continue till he or I died, I didn't see the need to clarify it further.

 

[stealth2]

You are right. It does sound like I contradicted myself. To clear that up, the oral promise was made while trying to reach a settlement. The court order said alimony would continue until either he or I died. Since the oral promise and court order both agreed alimony would continue till he or I died, I didn't see the need to clarify it further.

Then take him to court for contempt.

 

[LdiJ]

Then take him to court for contempt.

I agree. That is exactly what you need to do.

 

[not2cleverRed]

You are right. It does sound like I contradicted myself. To clear that up, the oral promise was made while trying to reach a settlement. The court order said alimony would continue until either he or I died. Since the oral promise and court order both agreed alimony would continue till he or I died, I didn't see the need to clarify it further.

You're not dead.
He's not dead.
Go to court and demand that the order be enforced, that he pay the arrears and court costs.

P.S. The written court order holds more legal weight than the oral promise, because it is easily proven. Don't even mention the oral promise, unless he tries to say that you voluntarily agreed to a change in alimony, as the written court order is sufficient.

 

[Sw3tflower]

Update help. My ex just filed in court to stop paying spousal support. I paid a group of paralegals $850 on March 3 to fill out, file and serve my ex my arrears case. They have not filed for me yet. (I had a stroke unable to travel). Since he filed first am I in a bad place? I have not heard back from the paralegals except they promised to serve last week. My ex said he is totally broke but hired a lawyer already. I cannot afford one.I have lots of questions......can I bring proof my ex liquidated our retirement fund after being served with divorce papers? That he stated he earned 0 when we got divorced and now gets over $3000 from SS, that he can afford an attorney and I cannot? Is there an attorney or retired attorney who can meet me and go over what I need to prevent the court from stopping support. I am not asking for representing me. My SS is $1085 and he wrote Emails stating as soon as he got SS he would pay me support again. I need to know what will prove my case. Case is in Martinez, I live in Grass Valley. I will pay what I can. I need advice. I also have PTSD. I admit I know nothing about the court system.

 

[commentator]

You need an attorney. Period.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Update help. My ex just filed in court to stop paying spousal support. I paid a group of paralegals $850 on March 3 to fill out, file and serve my ex my arrears case. They have not filed for me yet. (I had a stroke unable to travel). Since he filed first am I in a bad place? I have not heard back from the paralegals except they promised to serve last week. My ex said he is totally broke but hired a lawyer already. I cannot afford one.I have lots of questions......can I bring proof my ex liquidated our retirement fund after being served with divorce papers? That he stated he earned 0 when we got divorced and now gets over $3000 from SS, that he can afford an attorney and I cannot? Is there an attorney or retired attorney who can meet me and go over what I need to prevent the court from stopping support. I am not asking for representing me. My SS is $1085 and he wrote Emails stating as soon as he got SS he would pay me support again. I need to know what will prove my case. Case is in Martinez, I live in Grass Valley. I will pay what I can. I need advice. I also have PTSD. I admit I know nothing about the court system.

You have to respond to this. You cannot risk him winning by default.

Part of your response can include filing a counterclaim for what you want (what the paralegals filled out).

But you HAVE to respond, legally, to what he has filed.

P.S. Good luck in your recovery. Sometimes it can feel like if you didn't have bad luck, you'd have none.

 

[Sw3tflower]

You need an attorney. Period.

How do I find an attorney?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

How do I find an attorney?

What state are you in?

 

[not2cleverRed]

What state are you in?

CA, according to the thread title.