Alimony Modification?

[gasgirl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV
My husband thinks his ex-wife is getting ready to take him back to court for modification of alimony. He just finished a 2 year battle for custody (and has full custody now) because ex-wife lives with a convicted child sex-offender, and he thinks this is retaliation because she has to now pay child support!

Facts: Marriage was 19 yrs, alimony was to be for 10 yrs (< 2 yrs remain now). Order reads that it is "unmodifiable", and there is NO provision for cohabitation.

After the ex was ordered to pay child support (and our attorney fees for other harassing motions), she suddenly files an appeal claiming she cannot pay CS because she has a crippling disease. She fancies herself a lawyer and spends all her time at the self-help center.

I will not go into the merits of her assertion that she has a crippling disease except to sat that she has had a million tests for the cause of her knee pain and rash which have all been negative AND she tweets online that she goes to the gym daily and plays tennis.

She has NEVER been employed since the divorce, nor does she want to be. She holds certificates for Computer Drafting, Real Estate and Cosmetology. She has been cohabitating with the sex-offender for almost 3 years (even wears a wedding band and calls him her husband). My husband thinks she is going to try to be declared "disabled" and go to court for permanent alimony.

He is so convinced of this, he has hired a PI to get photos of her playing tennis and at the gym lifting weights.

I guess I am wondering IF she can try for permanent alimony, and IF SO, how will her cohabitation and deliberate unemployment for the past 8 yrs play into this? I know every state is different...

 

[mistoffolees]

Your husband should be asking the question because there are undoubtedly details that you're not privy to.

In general, if he's 8 years into a 10 year alimony and the court order says it is unmodifiable, it is VERY unlikely that the court would modify it. Her 'disability' would matter if she had been 'disabled' while they were married, but then it would have been considered in the original decree. If she became 'disabled' later, it's probably irrelevant.

What type of disability is she claiming? Real Estate and Computer Drafting are possible for people with a very wide range of disabilities.

 

[LdiJ]

Your husband should be asking the question because there are undoubtedly details that you're not privy to.

In general, if he's 8 years into a 10 year alimony and the court order says it is unmodifiable, it is VERY unlikely that the court would modify it. Her 'disability' would matter if she had been 'disabled' while they were married, but then it would have been considered in the original decree. If she became 'disabled' later, it's probably irrelevant.

What type of disability is she claiming? Real Estate and Computer Drafting are possible for people with a very wide range of disabilities.

I agree that if the court orders state that alimony is unmodifiable that she should not be able to prevail on modifying alimony...particularly 8 years into it. In fact, it shouldn't even matter how far into it they are, unmodifiable is unmodifiable.

Child support however is another story...if she could honestly prove a serious disability child support might get vacated or found to be unable to be collected. Or might just end up being uncollectable anyway (someone who is determined not to pay child support can sometimes be impossible to collect from, even if their tank their own financial life in the process).

Therefore I wouldn't recommend that your husband pay a PI to prove she doesn't need more alimony, because I think that is a non-issue. However, if he thinks the amount of child support he could collect from her would indicate that it was cost effective to hire a PI, that would be his choice. I am kind of guessing that its probably not cost effective. If she didn't work during the marriage and hasn't worked in the last 8 years her imputed income is unlikely to be higher than minimum wage...and he could easily spend more than a few years worth of child support on the PI. I am guessing that with a 19 year marriage and 8 years into a divorce that there aren't too many years of child support left.

 

[gasgirl]

No prior disability.

Did I mention she gets over $7000/month alimony?

She did work during the marriage at all professions for which she holds a certificate. She chooses not to work because she is too busy playing attorney for her boyfriend (for whom she has filed for expungement on 17 prior convictions).

Judge awarded my husband child support based on her Alimony ($980/month), as well as $4000+ she never paid toward portion of medical bills not covered by insurance.

She has also sent CPS to my house twice, both for absolutely no reason- CPS showed up at my daughter's school!

She tried to post comments about me and my husband on Healthgrades and other similar websites.

She has filed so many motions in court, the judge awarded $5000 to my husband for legal fees defending this barrage. And just last week, we were notified that she has filed an appeal of the last judgement with the Supreme Court AND has filed for the Judge to recuse himself because she says he is prejudiced against her and his son goes to the same school as one of the kids!

Glad to know it is improbable she can get permanent alimony...I WILL tell hubby to save the money on the PI. Hubby not writing this because he is in the Operating Room saving some guy's life...but he appreciates the advice.

 

[gasgirl]

AND...last time in court, judge OFFERED to give us a no contact order restricting her from "calling, texting, coming over, emailing-and ESP!" (Judge's own words)
She is only allowed to communicate with our attorney!
He also told her that he would put her in jail for 5 days for each inappropriate text/picture message...she had been sending pictures of her and the boyfriend in bed, the bathtub, etc.

As for her disability, she claims her arthritis prevents her from working (but her tennis game is pretty good).

She is a peach.

 

[Proserpina]

No prior disability.

Did I mention she gets over $7000/month alimony?

She did work during the marriage at all professions for which she holds a certificate. She chooses not to work because she is too busy playing attorney for her boyfriend (for whom she has filed for expungement on 17 prior convictions).

Judge awarded my husband child support based on her Alimony ($980/month), as well as $4000+ she never paid toward portion of medical bills not covered by insurance.

She has also sent CPS to my house twice, both for absolutely no reason- CPS showed up at my daughter's school!

She tried to post comments about me and my husband on Healthgrades and other similar websites.

She has filed so many motions in court, the judge awarded $5000 to my husband for legal fees defending this barrage. And just last week, we were notified that she has filed an appeal of the last judgement with the Supreme Court AND has filed for the Judge to recuse himself because she says he is prejudiced against her and his son goes to the same school as one of the kids!

Glad to know it is improbable she can get permanent alimony...I WILL tell hubby to save the money on the PI. Hubby not writing this because he is in the Operating Room saving some guy's life...but he appreciates the advice.

Oh I remember this case...!

$7k/month.

Folks, that's NOT a typo.

Tell your husband to very politely and sweetly tell his ex to get a certificate in Pounding Sand.

 

[LdiJ]

No prior disability.

Did I mention she gets over $7000/month alimony?

She did work during the marriage at all professions for which she holds a certificate. She chooses not to work because she is too busy playing attorney for her boyfriend (for whom she has filed for expungement on 17 prior convictions).

Judge awarded my husband child support based on her Alimony ($980/month), as well as $4000+ she never paid toward portion of medical bills not covered by insurance.

She has also sent CPS to my house twice, both for absolutely no reason- CPS showed up at my daughter's school!

She tried to post comments about me and my husband on Healthgrades and other similar websites.

She has filed so many motions in court, the judge awarded $5000 to my husband for legal fees defending this barrage. And just last week, we were notified that she has filed an appeal of the last judgement with the Supreme Court AND has filed for the Judge to recuse himself because she says he is prejudiced against her and his son goes to the same school as one of the kids!

Glad to know it is improbable she can get permanent alimony...I WILL tell hubby to save the money on the PI. Hubby not writing this because he is in the Operating Room saving some guy's life...but he appreciates the advice.

OP, if her alimony is 7k a month then you have no business asking questions on an internet forum and your husband should be relying on advice from his attorney ONLY.

I completely rescind my previous advice...my previous advice could very well be accurate, but your husband should NEVER rely on the advice of an internet message forum when that much money is at stake.

 

[gasgirl]

According to my husband's calculations, we have spent over $80,000 on attorneys (2) to get the children out of her house, and put up with this legal process...I say WE, because I have put up at least half of that money myself. In addition, because of rising unemployment and cuts to Medicare, my husband and I BOTH lost over 25% in income over the last 2 years. His current alimony payment amounts to 2/3 of his net income.

Don't think we aren't listening closely to the guy we are paying $350/hr to give advice...we are just trying to get an idea of what our attorney is going to say. The law many times does not follow what seems logical to us. I was baffled when the EX was allowed 3 different hearings (in addition to an Evidentiary Hearing) before we were given custody of the kids...we ended up getting the kids emergently after getting a restraining order on behalf of both of the minor children against the sex-offender boyfriend because the first custody hearing was scheduled 30 days out (that tactic worked great, by the way because the ex refused to make the boyfriend move out).

I have been exhausted by this process, and it kills me to see my husband so beaten down by it. He loves the kids so much...we don't care about the child support.

This woman has stated that she will do whatever it takes to "stay relevant" in my husband's life, "even if it kills me". She needs mental help.

And perhaps this is MY therapy...to know I am not the only one dealing with this kind of thing.

 

[stealth2]

And perhaps this is MY therapy...to know I am not the only one dealing with this kind of thing.

Then find a therapist or a support group. We're not Dr. Phil. He's two doors down, on the right. This is a legal forum, not a place to provide you therapy.