Alimony, yes or no?

[middlegadad]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

Wife moved out a few months ago into her own place and soon after her boyfriend moved in with her. We have two children 17 and 12 that have decided to live with me and have been for months. I make 77k a year and she makes about 25k a year. We were married for 16 years in April. My atty says no alimony since she has a live in. Her atty told her (or she is bluffing) she should get between 1000 and 2700 a month in alimony. I look at my budget and I couldn't afford to pay anything in alimony as I am barely making it now. She will have to pay child support when it all gets settled, but my question is this: What do judges normally award for alimony in Georgia? Is her atty way off base or bluffing? Should I stick to what my atty says and offer no alimony or should I borrow some money and offer her a small lump sum to keep from having to let the judge decide?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

Wife moved out a few months ago into her own place and soon after her boyfriend moved in with her. We have two children 17 and 12 that have decided to live with me and have been for months. I make 77k a year and she makes about 25k a year. We were married for 16 years in April. My atty says no alimony since she has a live in. Her atty told her (or she is bluffing) she should get between 1000 and 2700 a month in alimony. I look at my budget and I couldn't afford to pay anything in alimony as I am barely making it now. She will have to pay child support when it all gets settled, but my question is this: What do judges normally award for alimony in Georgia? Is her atty way off base or bluffing? Should I stick to what my atty says and offer no alimony or should I borrow some money and offer her a small lump sum to keep from having to let the judge decide?

Before you do that...take some other things into consideration. She is entitled to 1/2 of the marital assets and is responsible for 1/2 of the marital debt. For example, if there is 50k in equity in the house, then she is entitled to 25k of that. If you both have retirement accounts, you are each entitled to 1/2 of the other's account. It applies to all marital assets and debts. So before offering any kind of alimony or lump sum, make sure you have budgeted in what you may have to give her in marital assets.

You have been married long enough that alimony really could be a factor, however your attorney is the best person to advise you on the issue. If your attorney says no alimony, then stick to your guns on that.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Wife moved out a few months ago into her own place and soon after her boyfriend moved in with her.

that may be a sticking point there

 

[middlegadad]

Mediation

My STBX will not budge on Alimony, so we have to go to mediation. I am clueless on what happens in mediation and very worried. Will the mediator tell us what the judge would normally do if it was left for the judge to decide? The reason I am wondering is that she has an unreasonable attitude about alimony and I don't think she will change her mind in mediation. I have primary custody of my children and won't be able to take care of them if she gets the amount of alimony she has been talking about. I spoke to my attorney again and he still says no to alimony, but he said that if she got any it would be a small amount for a very short time. I am already planning on splitting the equity in our house 50.50 by refinancing.

So, I am worried about mediation now and hoping a mediator will offer some guidance to her and consider that I have to be able to provide a home for my children and that she does have a live in boyfriend helping her.

To show how unreasonable she is I offered her 550 a month for six months so we could somehow avoid mediation. I can't afford that and would have to borrow it, but she said 'oh, no, it's gonna be a lot more than that!'. I think she has lost her mind and is not thinking clearly. But, then again she never did.

Anyway, any suggestions or help is appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

How much child support are you asking for?

 

[middlegadad]

How much child support are you asking for?

Based on the georgia child support guildlines about $400.00 a month.

 

[Ohiogal]

Based on the georgia child support guildlines about $400.00 a month.

The higher her income the higher support. Alimony is income. Taxable to her. Basically she wants you to pay her to pay you support. That could get interesting. Oh and offer her NOTHING for alimony.

 

[Golfball]

If you know she has a live-in SO, and having a live-in SO is grounds for termination of alimony/separate maintenance/PSS/whatever the hell they call it in GA, then offer her nothing, and follow the advice of your attorney on how to do this.

I'll admit I will (sometimes) advocate paying a tiny amount of alimony (just barely above the level of being insulting about it) for the purposes of negotiation, (and only if the total amount of alimony is less, preferably significantly less, than the attorney's fees to quibble about it), but if the alimony could immediately be terminated, it's pointless to even offer that much.

 

[tuffbrk]

Golfball - define "a tiny amount" if you don't mind....

 

[Golfball]

Golfball - define "a tiny amount" if you don't mind....

I had offered $100/mo over nine months (5 yr marriage). More than nothing, but not much more.

Going rate (in my venue/jurisdiction) for contested alimony hearings start at roughly $2k in legal fees for just the alimony/PSS portion of the hearings.


Eventually, the X ended up waiving the offered alimony for other considerations (and from my point of view, I came out ahead), but offering nothing for alimony would have IMHO stopped negotiations cold, which would not have been to my benefit.

 

[tuffbrk]

Thanks Golfball! Just saw your response! I do think that you have a point - perhaps offering nothing would stop negotiations.

 

[middlegadad]

The higher her income the higher support. Alimony is income. Taxable to her. Basically she wants you to pay her to pay you support. That could get interesting. Oh and offer her NOTHING for alimony.

Yes, it's going to be interested, that is for sure. But, it is frustrating to me. She called me the other day and said her attorney told her "it didn't matter" that someone is living with her. Daughter came home from visiting her and said her mom and boyfriend are starting on building a new house and were showing her the plans, but at the same time complaining that they are broke and telling my daughter "your dad has plenty of money" (I don't, try raising two teenage girls on one income of any size.). I guess she is expecting me to pay part of her and her boyfriend's new home mortgage.

I don't get it. I can't move on with my life and can't do anything like date, make any significant improvement on my house, or make any financial plans because she will throw it in my face in mediation or court. Yet, she is able to do anything she wants and according to her attorney "it doesn't matter" and that she will still get alimony. This is nuts.

If anyone knows the specifics in Georgia I would appreciate the help.

 

[Golfball]

GA Code Annotated, Sec. 19-6-1:
Alimony defined; when authorized; how determined; lien on estate of party dying prior to order; certain changes in parties' assets prohibited pending determination

(b) A party shall not be entitled to alimony if it is established by a preponderance of the evidence that the separation between the parties was caused by that party's adultery or desertion. In all cases in which alimony is sought, the court shall receive evidence of the factual cause of the separation even though one or both of the parties may also seek a divorce, regardless of the grounds upon which a divorce is sought or granted by the court.



GA Code Annotated, Sec. 19-6-19:
Revision of judgment for permanent alimony generally -- When authorized; petition and hearing; cohabitation with third party as ground for revision; attorney's fees; temporary modification pending final trial

(b) Subsequent to a final judgment of divorce awarding periodic payment of alimony for the support of a spouse, the voluntary cohabitation of such former spouse with a third party in a meretricious relationship shall also be grounds to modify provisions made for periodic payments of permanent alimony for the support of the former spouse. As used in this subsection, the word "cohabitation" means dwelling together continuously and openly in a meretricious relationship with another person, regardless of the sex of the other person. In the event the petitioner does not prevail in the petition for modification on the ground set forth in this subsection, the petitioner shall be liable for reasonable attorney's fees incurred by the respondent for the defense of the action.



Hope this helps some. GA Code Annotated, Title 19 covers domestic relations, Chapter 5 of that title deals with Divorce, and Chapter 6 of that title covers Alimony & Child Support.