Allowing visitations outside the court madated schedule... is this a bad thing?

[microbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

I'm the custodial parent. Over the summer, I allowed my ex-wife some additional visitations since she's off during the summer. The 8-hour once a week visitation was extended to 3 8-hour visits. I have every since allowed for weekend overnights visits every other week. The judgement was for 8-hours on Saturdays every week or whenever I feel comfortable, to increase it to weekend visits every other weekend which I have done since. I even allowed for a full week of visit before the ex-wife returned to work.

I thought increasing the visitations will serve my son's best interest as he would be able to spend more time with his mother. I'm just a little confused now as my leniency and good intentions are being used against me in an appeal.

Should I have stuck with the court mandated visitations and now allow for additional time? There's also no order on how visitations during holidays are to be handled but I have always accommodated for visitations during holidays, mother's day and my ex-wife's birthday, xmas, 4th of July just to name a few... Since my ex does not work in the summer I also thought about doing weekly visitations starting next summer but if it's going to be used against me in court then I would rather not. Should that really be my attitutde cuz it just doesnt seem right.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

I'm the custodial parent. Over the summer, I allowed my ex-wife some additional visitations since she's off during the summer. The 8-hour once a week visitation was extended to 3 8-hour visits. I have every since allowed for weekend overnights visits every other week. The judgement was for 8-hours on Saturdays every week or whenever I feel comfortable, to increase it to weekend visits every other weekend which I have done since. I even allowed for a full week of visit before the ex-wife returned to work.

I thought increasing the visitations will serve my son's best interest as he would be able to spend more time with his mother. I'm just a little confused now as my leniency and good intentions are being used against me in an appeal.

Should I have stuck with the court mandated visitations and now allow for additional time? There's also no order on how visitations during holidays are to be handled but I have always accommodated for visitations during holidays, mother's day and my ex-wife's birthday, xmas, 4th of July just to name a few... Since my ex does not work in the summer I also thought about doing weekly visitations starting next summer but if it's going to be used against me in court then I would rather not. Should that really be my attitutde cuz it just doesnt seem right.

How is she trying to use your leniency against you?

In general, occasionally allowing extra time shouldn't be much of a big deal one way or the other. However, if you allow a LOT of extra time, then NCP can claim that the court should make your new schedule into a new order - and then force you to follow it all the time. (that could also affect child support).

If the new schedule has been in place for a long time, then a status quo is established and the court could consider making it permanent. OTOH, if the new schedule is clearly temporary, it's harder for NCP to get the court to make it permanent.

As a very general rule, a new schedule must be in place for months in order for it to become permanent. Since yours was only for a couple of months at most - and since you were clearly doing it because of the summer, it may not be sufficient to change the schedule. OTOH, if your ex is off EVERY summer, then it might.

 

[LillianX]

When you say "being used against you", do you really mean "She's attempting to get more custody of our child"?

If so, my suggestion is this: Your goal should be whatever is in the best interest of our child. If it is in his interest to see his mother more often, then make that happen. If you truly believe it isn't (and you don't seem to, because you're willing to allow her more visitation) then fight.

 

[Isis1]

my first question is, WHY was limited visitation implemented in the first place?

 

[TheGeekess]

How is she trying to use your leniency against you?

In general, occasionally allowing extra time shouldn't be much of a big deal one way or the other. However, if you allow a LOT of extra time, then NCP can claim that the court should make your new schedule into a new order - and then force you to follow it all the time. (that could also affect child support).

If the new schedule has been in place for a long time, then a status quo is established and the court could consider making it permanent. OTOH, if the new schedule is clearly temporary, it's harder for NCP to get the court to make it permanent.

As a very general rule, a new schedule must be in place for months in order for it to become permanent. Since yours was only for a couple of months at most - and since you were clearly doing it because of the summer, it may not be sufficient to change the schedule. OTOH, if your ex is off EVERY summer, then it might.

It shouldn't affect CS in Illinois. That's a straight 20% of the NCP's income.