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Almost 18 seeking emancipation help in PA.

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TamraM

Junior Member
I'm 17 years old, turning 18 on November first. I understand that some may say it would be a better idea to stay at home until I turn 18, but I disagree.

My mother, though she only smokes marijuana (as far as I'm aware), is involved with drug dealers and brings cokeheads and crackheads into the house frequently, and I do not feel safe here. She also has been bringing into the house the man that she has a PFA on. This man physically abused her for 6 years and almost killed her a few times, and is involved heavily in many different drugs. I have finally gotten up the courage to try to leave, after trying to get outside help from close, trusted adults, but my mother sees no issue in her ways and refuses to change. She has even pushed away everyone who disagrees with her, and refuses to talk to them at all anymore, including her mother.

Is this enough reason to be emancipated?
Or could my father try to take custody of me (he now has visitation rights multiple times a week) until I turn 18?
I would take this as the original option to avoid emancipation, but my father is taking care of my kid sister, and she and I do not get along. (To the point where I become suicidal and she literally runs away from home and self harms) She needs his help more than I do, if I can get emancipated.
I have a living situation set up, my boyfriend's family agreed to let me stay with them until we are (or I on my own am) able to afford an apartment.

Under my mother's care I have been subject to constant emotional abuse and stress, including my mother blaming all her issues on me and threatening to kill herself, and not allowing me to participate in healthy social events, such as concerts or dates with my boyfriend of over 3 years any more than once a week, so that I can babysit her 3 year old daughter for her to go to work, then go out to a bar and party, then sleep in with a hangover. Anybody, including my dad, who tries to talk to her only gets in return responses of irritated defence and anger, then behind-the-scenes she yells at me for telling them anything. I haven't been to a dentist in years, and it's painful to eat what little food she keeps in the house due to her "forgetting" to turn in the food stamp paperwork. I have three fillings that have FALLEN OUT. And I brush my teeth three to four times a day (I have really soft teeth and can't exactly stick to any good diet since mom doesn't follow grocery lists when I make them). I am overworked and undercredited, expected to take care of the entire house and HER baby and give up my growing experiences, so that she can have the fun, exciting life she wants, and I don't think that is fair. She won't even let me have a job because she says I have to babysit.
If I live with my dad, it won't be much different, I'll have to deal with my mentally unstable 15 year old sister who is in and out of special programs for self-harmers and has tried to convince me to go back to my self-harming tendencies. I cannot live like that.

My mother, yesterday, told me to "Go, live with Mike if you want, I don't care!" So can I take that as permission? Today she is acting as if everything is fine, though right now she's at a bar and I'm babysitting her child.

Here are some more questions that I have:
Will I be forced to return home if I go to my boyfriend's house?
Will I be forced to go to my dad's, if I refuse to return to my mom's care?
Can I file for emancipation, and live with my boyfriend's family (who are eager to accept me) (and aquire a job and a bank/savings account and such) while going through the legal process of the emancipation?
Will I still be able to attend Cyber school and get my High School Diploma through that without my parents? (Side question: Will I then have to pay the fee for it since my parents qualified for free school assistance, but I will then no longer be under their care?)
Will I be able to go to doctors (and dentist!!) appointments without my parents present?

Thank you.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
I was feeling some sympathy for you until you started referring to your little sister as "her child". That is really disturbing.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Will I be forced to return home if I go to my boyfriend's house? WILL you? The crystal ball is out for cleaning. CAN you? Damn straight - until you are 18, you live where Mom says you live, and Mom is allowed to change her mind.
Will I be forced to go to my dad's, if I refuse to return to my mom's care? Honey, you do not have the option of refusing until you are 18. But even if we pretend you do, the answer is yes, Dad's would be the next step, LONG before emancipation entered the picture.
Can I file for emancipation, and live with my boyfriend's family (who are eager to accept me) (and aquire a job and a bank/savings account and such) while going through the legal process of the emancipation? You can file anything you like and apply for anything you want, but you're not living anywhere, keeping any job, or having access to any bank account, unless Mom says so. And yes, she can make it stick, and since emancipation is going to be denied anyway even if you do file, you'll want to add that into the equation of how Mom is likely to react.
Will I still be able to attend Cyber school and get my High School Diploma through that without my parents? (Side question: Will I then have to pay the fee for it since my parents qualified for free school assistance, but I will then no longer be under their care?) Sweetheart, you're not getting it. If you can't pay 100% of what it takes to support you, including rent, utilities, food, clothing, medical care, insurance, transportation, and yes, school fees as well, BEFORE you file for emancipation (and don't bother telling me that your boyfriend's family will pay some or all of that - you still have to be able to prove you can do it without their help) then you don't qualify to be emancipated at all.
Will I be able to go to doctors (and dentist!!) appointments without my parents present? That will be, as it is now, up to the doctor and dentist.
 

eerelations

Senior Member
I understand that some may say it would be a better idea to stay at home until I turn 18, but I disagree.
It doesn't matter what "some may say" about this, it's what the law says that counts. And legally, it's extremely unlikely that you will be able to emancipate yourself.
 

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