Am i gonna get screwed?

[manuel340]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Me and my wife separated briefly at the beginning of last year. Neither of us ever filed any type of paperwork and I eventually moved back into my house after about five months. I recently found out that my wife is involved in an affair with another man and that this has been going on under my nose for about a year now. She is openly admitting to being in a committed relationship with this guy and to top it off she wants a divorce and she will be moving in with him along with our kids. She is basically gonna stick me with the mortgage and totally leave me with all the expenses and shack up with this guy. This guy has had several convictions including marijuana possession, assault and battery, driving suspended and tresspassing on school property at night. What do you think the chances are of my wife getting away with this? I realize that I can't control who she is with but it seems to me that if she is committing adultery and planning on taking my kids into this guys home she should be the one inconvienced when it comes to child support, etc. I have no idea what to expect from a judge in this matter. I am sick to my stomach over this situation. I have a lawyer and will be meeting with her in about a week. All I know is that I hear horror stories about fathers being hung out to dry in divorces and I don't want to be one of those men. I don't claim to be Mr. Perfect but I have been faithful to my wife, I have never been violent and most importantly I have always provided for my children (ages 2 & 5). Someone please give me some insight or advice. Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[Ohiogal]

See below.

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Me and my wife separated briefly at the beginning of last year. Neither of us ever filed any type of paperwork and I eventually moved back into my house after about five months.

Okay so you reconciled. Irrelevant.

I recently found out that my wife is involved in an affair with another man and that this has been going on under my nose for about a year now. She is openly admitting to being in a committed relationship with this guy and to top it off she wants a divorce and she will be moving in with him along with our kids.

And you are letting her take the kids why? She is their mother and has a right to joint custody but why are you rolling over and not going to court asking for temporary orders for the custody of the kids? You can file for divorce and request that the children remain in the marital home with you.

She is basically gonna stick me with the mortgage and totally leave me with all the expenses and shack up with this guy.

Not necessarily. Half the marital debts are hers as are half the marital assets. So expect the judge to give her some of the debt. Short term you may be "stuck" with them. But you will also be "stuck" with the assets. Is your wife working? Does she earn any money?

This guy has had several convictions including marijuana possession, assault and battery, driving suspended and tresspassing on school property at night. What do you think the chances are of my wife getting away with this?

Getting away with what? Living with him? Pretty darn good. She is an adult. having the kids live with her -- about 50/50. How do you know this man has been convicted several times? When were the convictions? What was his penalty? You can't stop who your wife hangs around with nor can you sto pwho she takes the kids around. You MIGHT be able to convince a judge not to let anyone with a bad driving record drive the kids but that would apply equally to you as well. Unless you can prove this guy is a DIRECT threat to the children there is nothing you can do about it.

I realize that I can't control who she is with but it seems to me that if she is committing adultery and planning on taking my kids into this guys home she should be the one inconvienced when it comes to child support, etc.

Oh isn't that sweet? You are ticked at mommy so therefore you don't want to pay child support. Wrap your head around this RIGHT NOW -- child support is to support your children. If you are a responsible daddy you want your kids supported. If you are not a responsible daddy then you don't care and the rest of this post doesn't matter either. You cannot use child support as punishment.

I have no idea what to expect from a judge in this matter. I am sick to my stomach over this situation. I have a lawyer and will be meeting with her in about a week. All I know is that I hear horror stories about fathers being hung out to dry in divorces and I don't want to be one of those men. I don't claim to be Mr. Perfect but I have been faithful to my wife, I have never been violent and most importantly I have always provided for my children (ages 2 & 5). Someone please give me some insight or advice. Thanks in advance for your help.

File for divorce and ask for temporary custody of the children for them to remain in the marital home with you and her to pay child support.