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Am I just being petty?

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What is the name of your state? GA

Every time my six-year-old son visits his father, he comes home whiney, jumpy, and nervous. He cries at the drop of a hat, cringes when I move suddenly, and gets defensive at even the most innocent question.

In the past, my son has told me that his father told him he smelled like a garbage can. My son had spent some time with his maternal grandparents who smoke before his dad picked him up. He also told my son that his grandma and grandpa were going to die because they smoke. Although I realize the smoke is not a good place for a child, I feel it would be nuts to end our relationship with my parents because they smoke. I do, however, insist that they smoke outside when we visit. This whole situation, and others similar to it, are very stressful to a six year old child.

This sort of thing happens frequently, and sometimes my son complains about his father asking him "too many questions". I can't really get to the bottom of that one without asking more questions still.

My point is that these situations have become the norm, and seem to have a seriously negative effect on my child. Does the court consider this serious or will they see me as petty and controlling? If they do take this seriously, what can be done to put a stop to it?


Senior Member
My response:

No, you're not being petty. You're just concerned for the welfare of your child. However, from your post, there's really nothing you've said that a court will get involved to do anything about. These things happen in families, and the court can't be a "watchdog" for every circumstance.

Now, if you think you're being petty, here's a post from tonight that's REALLY petty - -

Re: Definition of school holiday?
Originally posted by always confused
What is the name of your state? TX

Ok, my child's school has a calender of days off. It has different types of days off. Lisied are ...school holidays, Teacher work days etc.
The Christmas holiday was from the 22nd of Dec. through the 2nd.
The following Mon. is a teacher work day, not school vacation.

Does the teacher work day count as holiday time with my child or should she bring him on the previous Sunday?


My response:

When you have a "real" problem, then come back. However, in the meantime, try not to be a little, whiney, child yourself. Okay?



Yes, that was a petty post. Sometimes I see why you guys get so cynical here. Thanks for your help.



I have seen this situation many times, even in my own. All you can is talk to the other parent about it and try to get it resolved that way before having to take it to courts.

Another thing is don't question your son either...that doesn't help. Always listen to want son says and try to be calm and cool to answer if he asks something but don't keep digging deeper. At least at your end of things it won't look bad.


you might try taking your son to a councelor that specializes in children of divorce to talk about what is going on in his head. that might help him with some of his behaviors. it's hard on kids to go from one parent to another and not really be able to tell either parent what is bothering them because of a fear of making the parents mad at each other.


Senior Member
I have a friend who dealt with a similiar problem, but his son was 8. He taught his son a new line to say each time that "mom" started digging at him with questions:

"I love you and dad both. What happens with dad stays with dad. What happens with mom stays with mom. Please don't ask me anymore."

After a couple of tries, she gave up.

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