am So CONFUSED

[sissyo69]

What is the name of your state?
I live in Oklahoma and my husband is here but got divorce in Oregon.
He had not seen his daughter from 2002 but he has been talking to her. We send mail and clothes and school stuff and everything the mother asks for. He was behind on support till he met me and I argued that he needed to pay.
Anyways, we have ask for visitation every holiday, summer break and vacations for 3 years, offering to fly child out to Oklahoma ( child is 9 ) mom refused it wasnt safe, bla bla. Offered to fly child, sibling ex wife and new husband ( who wife was seeing when married James, got pregnant by other man and didnt tell James until child was 15 months old and she wanted to marry James friend ) He divorced came here. She wouldnt allow that visitations either. We found out she was divorcing 2nd hubby ( cause he called and told us) and found out that he had gotton court ordered visitation on James biological child that she has been denying visits to). Then found out from him ( the new ex) that he was suing her for custody of their child and James and her child ( his ex step daughter) because the mother was living with a convicted sex offender ( 1st degree rapist) and working 14 hours day 7 days week in bar letting sex offender babysit ( Oregon claims there is no law agaisnt letting this person babysit cause he isnt on probation or parole anymore).
We went to Oregon on March 30, ( unnannounced) to see child and to find out what was going on. We called her when we got there and she immediatly got mad. Wouldnt let us see child for almost 2 days and then for one hour and she supervised it, claiming he has no rights cause he moved bla bla. Then over the next 5 days of her stay we saw her for 1 five hour period ( which was in court divorce order) but she supervised that also. She kept the child from school all days we were there saying we were going to steal her. then claimed that he owed 11,000 in back support which we had to file dispute on.
Found out that during divorce to 2nd man all notices James was required to recieve since his daughter was involved she was having sent to an adress she KNEW he didnt live at ( she sends letters to home address and child support knows where he is because they are garnishing his check.
WHat now? We finally came home. I filed objection to child support and notice of adress change so she couldnt mail crap to wrong places. PROBLEM IS.. What rights does he have?
She wont let him have visitation but child is staying at ex's 15-20 days a month rest of time with rapist. Mom never sees her. And now EX step dad wants custody.
We are also paying day care that he is court ordered to pay ( on James child) after James was court ordered to pay and we pay child support and she spends less than 10 days a month with mother.
Any info would be helpful, there is another court hearing coming up. I have all info from courts between James and Amanda. Devon ( last ex) and Amanda and current hearing info plus list of times she has not honored divorce for last 3 years and all information on rapist who has rap sheet longer than the state of Oregon itself.
Thank you

 

[LdiJ]

Hon, break this up into paragraphs and make it a little clearer or you aren't going to get many responses. Your husband NEEDS an attorney.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the court ordered visitation from their divorce? Has your husband filed any contempt orders? Has your husband filed for modification of visitation? Has he filed for custody? Has he asked for a guardian ad litem be appointed?

 

[sissyo69]

Sorry, second attempt to not ramble

1.My husband divorced in 2002. This was in Jackson County Oregon
2.He was awarded visitation to his child on Sundays. This visitation was until he was settled and then he could mediate more time with her.
3. In May of 2002 he moved from Oregon to Oklahoma.
4. Since that time he has talked to his daughter 3 times a week without fail.
5 The mother has refused to let the child come to Oklahoma to visit.
6. He has not been medically able to go to Oregon due to foot surgeries.
7. His ex remarried in 2004 and divorced again in 2005.
8. In the divorce between ex and 2nd husband the ex husband ask the court for visitation to his non biological daughter ( my husbands child )and was granted Monday-Wednesday and every other weekend,this was also the schedule for the joint child of the two.
9. My husband was never notified of this or ask of his opinion or even where he was by Oregon court.We didnt even know this until we got toOregon.
10. He is paying child support, insurance and day care on this child, it is being garnished from his wages.
11. For his birthday this year his mother and I had saved and saved so that I could take him to Oregon to see her.He had just become eligable for vacation at work,we called the mother and let her know that we were coming, the days we would be there and where we would be staying, and ask her if we could spend the weekend with the child she said you can have whatever you want, your daughter will be estatic to see you.
12. We called her when we arrived in Oregon and she said that it was too late for a visit that day ( it was 4:30 om ) to call next day.
13. The next morning we went to the childs school to have lunch with her and she wasnt there. He called the mom and she told him that she couldnt send the child because she was scared he came to steal her. ( he has never gave her any reason to believe that).
14. She met us for dinner that evening with the child and told him that he had one hour, for which she then set her stop watch and timed him, she also informed him that he would have no one on one time with her and that any visit he had would be supervised by her because she claimed that when he left the state of Oregon he lost all his parental rights and she was only letting him see the child out of the goodness of her heart.
15. The following two days were the weekend, his daughter spend it at the ex step fathers house since she claimed it to be his weekend.
16. How can the non-bio's order over ride his and since both men were awared Sundays with the child she opted to not let us see her.
17. on Monday, we went to the school again to see her and found out she wasnt at school again.
18. We went to the mothers residence and while we were there the ex-wife's brother came in. This man was in prison for 1st degree rape ( rape of a minor) and we didnt even know he had been released.He is now living in the home with my husbands daughter and babysits her while the mother works. ( the mother works 7 days a week from 2pm-2am at a bar.
19. We went to the court house the following morning to see what we could do to get his visitation, to complain about the child having visits with the ex step father while father being denied any visits.And to see what we could do about his child living with a registered sex offender. The court house informed us that they could not tell us what to do, and that we should go back to Oklahoma and weigh out options from there.
20. Before leaving we talked to 3 attorneys, explaining the situation they all said that we had a case but they would not take without at least a $5000.00 RETAINER because we resided out of The state.
21. On the morning we were to leave we ask if we could tell the child goodbye ( she was not at school again, at this point she hadnt been in 3 days) and his ex told him NO. He had done enough damage by coming down to begin with, that the child had another father and that my husband needed to back off and leave the child alone.
I know that this sounds ridiculous but It really happened,We traveled by car 7000 miles round trip to see this little girl and only got like 1 hour and then some time to take her shopping ( which the mother accompanied us on). And then were ask to leave and please not come back.
We even attempted to get his court ordered visitation enforced by law enforcement who told us that because we were out of state visitors they could not help us.
Anyone know where I can get an attorney who would take payments?
What rights does he have?
What rights does the ex-step father have?
any information you can give me would be so helpful. My husband is at his wits end and to make it worse when we got home his daughter called crying begging him to come back and wanting to know why he left her again, why he didnt say goodbye. She wanted to know why she couldnt come home with us and told him that she would be good forever and ever if she could just see him again.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What exactly does the order say about visitation? Is it supervised?

Do ther have joint legal custody? And mom had residential custody?

When he was at the court house why didn't he file contempt? Did he get copies of both the files re his daughter?

He does not loose his visitation rights because he moves out of state, but he needs to file to modify visitation, the child is old enough to fly out alone.

Call CPS re the child living in a home with a convicted sex offender.

Petition the court re appointing a GAL, ask to have the cost born by biomom because of allowing the stepfather visitation rightfully due biodad, a marriage of 1 year doesn't trump his rights.

 

[sissyo69]

His divorce decree states that he has visitation on Sundays from 2-6 ( it lists a place for drop off and pick up, which is even at the mothers job which is a bar,isnt that ironic? )
1. There is nothing in there about supervison ( she made that up)
2. We ask to file a contempt citation ( which I had already typed up) and were told that because he was not a resident of the county we needed to go and and look up an attorney who could handle his case.
3. ALSO.. On March 15th the ex-step father filed a MOTION to INTERVENE in The divorce between my husband and his ex-wife stating
a. He was married to Amanda ( mothers name ) for xxx amount of time and that the minor child in this case ( Kaitlyn- my husbands daughter) has resided with him and the mother for almost 3 years ( they married 2yrs after shacking and stacking).
B. I have formed a psycological bond with this child ( Kaitlyn )
C. Since dissoulution of marriage ( between Amanda and person filing) I have had visitation 2 overnights a week and 2 overnights every other weekend and am asking the court for additional parenting time with her. He is asking for Monday-Friday and everyother weekend leaving the mother with every other weekend and the childs bio father NOTHING.
HIS REASONS ARE.
1. Mother works 7 nights a week and is not physically present to be with children on days I do not have them.
2. I am concerned about the children being around the mothers brother, a registered sex offender, and ask the court to place a no contact order between him and the children

My husband was unaware of this and was never notified, so while at the court house I ask to see the files.
In there was a statement that was supposed to have been sent to by husband ( it was sent to imaginary address) They have current information on file that says there is a hearing for this man to take FULL custody of my husbands child and that he is NOT to appear in court. That the decision will be made based upoin information already summited.

Yet again the court house told me to GO HOME. Said we could not file appeal or objection or contempt order. They were very mean to us and made us feel like we were aliens who had landed here to steal children or something.

Have you ever heard of a non-bio parent being able to assert so many rights and demands and the bio father not getting a chance to speak or ask for his own child if the mother has basically abandoned her to be raised me non-related 3rd parties and a rapist?
I walked out of that court house with over 100 filed pages and they wouldnt let us do or say anything.

 

[stealth2]

Why did he never file to modify visitation when he moved?

 

[sissyo69]

He was young and stupid ( I know ignorance is no excuse ).
He dated this woman and they had a child ( Kaitlyn ), a few months later they let Devon ( the womans current ex live with them). she told him a year later that she was expecting another chlld, He ask her to marry him, she did. She gave birth, listed James as father on birth certificate gave the child his name and for 15 months he took care of that baby as well as his older child. After 16 months the mother wakes him up at 6am and informs him that when she gets home from work she wants him gone. THat she would like to be with Devon and that the 15month old was not his ( James ) that she was Devons and they were tired of living a lie. He moved out that day filed for a divorce and a paternity request and SURE enough that child was not his. SHe married him and led him to believe a total LIE !!
She was his first love ( bla bla bla ) and when the divorce was signed and he was not allowed to see the child he had raised as his own and only one day a week with his bio daughter, he freaked out. Quit his job and came back home.
They were origionally from here in Oklahoma, they moved to Oregon after they were married while she was pregnant ( taking the so called friend Devon with them) He just felt like an idiot that he was working two jobs to support his wife and two kids ( at age 25 ) and he was at home playing matress mombo with his best friend and they spend all day playing house.
He should have filed and he didnt. He just wanted to get away and not have to see what they done and he thought that he was a fool and everyone was laughing at him ( bla bla )
I know it isnt an excuse, but that is his story.