amber alert threat - help?

[texh]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

NCP (father) is having thankgiving visit with children today. CP Mother is very mad. She scheduled 4 basketball games and a church service for one of the children during Dad's visit. Dad had other plans and didn't take child to any of these activities. Mom and step-dad have been leaving angry messages on Dad's voicemail. Dad returned calls yesterday, but Mom called today at 10:45 am and left message that she has called the police saying that he is not allowing phone contact, so she and the police are treating this as kidnapping if she doesn't get a phone call in an hour. She said they are going to file an amber alert. Court order says Dad has the kids until 6:00 pm Sunday. She says she wants them back by 5pm Sunday and if she doesn't get a call, the amber alert is going out.

What should Dad do. This is clearly harrassmennt and interference with Dads visit. Should he file a report? Or just let it go? We are documenting her continued efforts to frustrate his visitation and just looking for advice on this one. Thanks

 

[justalayman]

No legal advice but if you/dad are worried might call the police dept that the mom would have been in contact with to make sure there is actually nothing going on. Sounds like a bluff but you never know for sure. You know the old saying....an ounce of prevention**************...
Maybe save everybody trouble

 

[texh]

Thanks

I'm pretty sure its a bluff. But Dad is getting tired of these continued harrassments during his parenting time. Maybe he should call tho, just to see and confirm.

Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm pretty sure its a bluff. But Dad is getting tired of these continued harrassments during his parenting time. Maybe he should call tho, just to see and confirm.

Thanks.

What do his orders state regarding phone contact with the children? If he isn't allowing mom to speak to the kids then he could have a problem.

 

[Content]

What do his orders state regarding phone contact with the children? If he isn't allowing mom to speak to the kids then he could have a problem.

Not unless the co specifically gives mom phone contact of some sort. Otherwise mom is just being difficult.

 

[texh]

re CO and phone contact.

The only thing the order says about phone contact is that NCP Dad is entitled to phone calls during his non-visiting time--2 calls per week. Ohterwise, it says nothing about him having to provide her with phone contact during his visiting time. Furthurmore, she has his cell phone number and they've talked a few times since he picked the kids up on Thursday. This message threatening the amber alert was left on his voicemail this morning. It was the first and only attempt she made to call him this morning. She called me (the stepmom in another state) yesterday and yelled at me wanting to know what hotel they were staying in. We think the call this morning was just to find that out. He called her back and let the kids talk to her and that was her first question. The CO says nothing about her needing to know the hotel, just that he needs to stay within 250 miles on these short visits. She has his cell phone number.

 

[texh]

Not unless the co specifically gives mom phone contact of some sort. Otherwise mom is just being difficult.

Exactly. That's what the thought is on this side. These kind of things happen literally every single time Dad visits. Dad is trying to put a stop to it, so has really started trying to document everything. He has emails from here showing her sheduling the kids for FOUR games and a service during his time. That's what he is wondering. What is the best way to document this? Continued notes on our side, or does he call the local police to see if she really did file a report and if so, does he file a counter?

This stinks. It can never go smooth for him.

 

[brisgirl825]

Not unless the co specifically gives mom phone contact of some sort. Otherwise mom is just being difficult.

That's she asked what the orders stated irt phone calls. Please read.

 

[Dlgdabalm]

Sounds to me like MOM and DAD still have issues with each other and they BOTH need to stop putting the kids in the middle of everything. It does not appear that either is worried about the best interest of the children.

 

[Zephyr]

I don't think the mom CAN file an amber alert in this situation, at least not until after 6. and dad is not in violation regarding the phone calls, and dad is under no obligation to have the children attend gatherings sheduled for his time that he did not either schedule himself or agree to. mom is the one digging herself a hole here, she is very transparent in her attempt to frustrate dad's visit wih the kids, dad needs to document all of this.

 

[texh]

Sounds to me like MOM and DAD still have issues with each other and they BOTH need to stop putting the kids in the middle of everything. It does not appear that either is worried about the best interest of the children.

Where did that come from? Dad is trying to spend 4 days with his kids. He lives out of state. Mom has known for 2 months of his visit, yet schedules a random basketball tourny for a 10 year old during 2 of those days. Dad provides cell phone without being required to. Yet, mom and step-dad have called and yelled at both he and me (stepmom in Tex) no less than 10 times since Thurday. So tell me--what is Dad's issue and how is he putting the kids in the middle of anything. What is he doing that is not in their interest?

 

[texh]

I don't think the mom CAN file an amber alert in this situation, at least not until after 6. and dad is not in violation regarding the phone calls, and dad is under no obligation to have the children attend gatherings sheduled for his time that he did not either schedule himself or agree to. mom is the one digging herself a hole here, she is very transparent in her attempt to frustrate dad's visit wih the kids, dad needs to document all of this.

Thank you. Just notes on his side? I'm sure he is planning on saving the voicemails. Does he file anything with the court, or just save for his records?

 

[Zephyr]

Thank you. Just notes on his side? I'm sure he is planning on saving the voicemails. Does he file anything with the court, or just save for his records?

he should be documenting everything that goes on, good and bad, in regards to the kids and their mom. save the voicemails, print the emails, make copies of the phone bill detail showing how often she called both of you during this short visit etc.

is this how mom acts at every visit?

 

[texh]

he should be documenting everything that goes on, good and bad, in regards to the kids and their mom. save the voicemails, print the emails, make copies of the phone bill detail showing how often she called both of you during this short visit etc.

is this how mom acts at every visit?

Thank you.

And yes--it's a "scene" everytime. The last short one up there, she said the son was sick and couldn't go with Dad. She told the boy if he did anyway, he wouldn't be spending the night with his friend anymore. Sad. The summers are better once the children get to Texas, tho. Big hassles before, but then after they are here, it's like a faucet gets turned off and Mom will go almost the whole six weeks without calling. It's weird, and really sad for the kids.

Dad will have to continue saving emails and voicemails. Hopefully he can accumulate enough proof to help get this to stop.

 

[Veronica1228]

I would recommend that you make sure your husband ALWAYS takes a copy of the court-ordered custody agreement with him when he exercises his visitation. If the Mom does follow through on her threat to report a kidnapping all you have to do is produce that document for the police and Mom will be charged with filing a false report.

As long as your husband is following the agreement to the letter of the law then he has nothing to worry about in regards to being charged with kidnapping. That would also help with any harrassment charges your husband might want to file against his ex.

In a way, you should almost hope that she DOES follow through on her threat. Then you'd have all the proof you need.