Amend a 2 Year Old Divorce Decree

[speakingsailor]

Washington: Before I get into details, yes I'm aware I'm an idiot. My wife and I separated years ago. She moved across country. She expected me to stay here and raise our oldest who's had behavioral issues to say the least until he graduated and moved out. (He was 11 at the time) I filed for divorce in 5 of 2016 because I was living with another woman and we had a baby. She wanted me to get divorced so we could move forward. My ex delayed sending paperwork back signed until the 11th hour then we had to reschedule because she didn't send signed copies.

She lied about finances. Her assets. My income. Everything. I was anxious to have this over so I didn't fight it (that's the idiot part)

Her mom gave us the down payment for our house. The one I'm still in and the one she left. The mortgage is in my name alone. The decree states after our youngest graduates (3 years) I sell the house and give her half. I'd like to offer her the down payment amount plus half of the down payment as a buy out but I know she will resist. The housing market is good here and the value has gone up. I'd like to stay here because I've paid for this house for almost a decade by myself and have put in a lot of work.

If she doesn't take the offer to the buyout what are my options? I'm paying spousal maintenance based off of the separation date she gave (false) and because she lied about expenses. Example: She said she was spending $500 a month for child care for our then 13 yr old. She listed the full value of this house as my asset alone even though she's still on the deed and is legally entitled to half.

Like I said. I'm an idiot. I'm just looking for some light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Litigator22]

I hope you weren't expecting someone to applaud your intelligence in agreeing post divorce to fund your ex wife's nest egg. It was absolutely senseless not to have her marital property interest in the home established at the time of the divorce. But it is too late no, pal.

That decree has long since been res judicata (over with and done with) and all the King's horses and all the King's men aren't going to change it.

 

[speakingsailor]

I admitted I did something dumb in an effort to not get rude responses such as this. Yes I made a huge mistake. Thanks for the Latin translation my google only works in English.

 

[adjusterjack]

If she doesn't take the offer to the buyout what are my options?

Only one. Three years after your youngest graduates you sell the house and give your ex half the net proceeds. She is an owner on the deed. You can't do anything without her signature and she will certainly instruct the escrow to cut separate checks so you won't have any control over the money.

You are welcome to try to buy her signature on a quitclaim deed at any time but I suspect that she will hold out for a lot of money unless she is desperate for some reason.

Is she desperate now? If not, I wouldn't be offering her any money now. She'll smell blood in the water and steamroll you for a lot more than you think it will take to get out from under.

If, for some reason, she comes to you for money, that's when you'll have leverage.

I don't think there is any way to fix the mistakes you made when you got divorced but it certainly couldn't hurt to consult an attorney and have the situation properly analyzed.

 

[speakingsailor]

Only one. Three years after your youngest graduates you sell the house and give your ex half the net proceeds. She is an owner on the deed. You can't do anything without her signature and she will certainly instruct the escrow to cut separate checks so you won't have any control over the money.

You are welcome to try to buy her signature on a quitclaim deed at any time but I suspect that she will hold out for a lot of money unless she is desperate for some reason.

Is she desperate now? If not, I wouldn't be offering her any money now. She'll smell blood in the water and steamroll you for a lot more than you think it will take to get out from under.

If, for some reason, she comes to you for money, that's when you'll have leverage.

I don't think there is any way to fix the mistakes you made when you got divorced but it certainly couldn't hurt to consult an attorney and have the situation properly analyzed.

Thanks! It makes perfect sense about waiting for her to ask for money first. I hadn't thought of that. I appreciate the advice.

 

[HRZ]

And there might be situations where the " net" of any sale plummet or can be engineered to plummet ....but you best have some legal eyes on the exact words of your divorce order ahead of things this time .

 

[LdiJ]

And there might be situations where the " net" of any sale plummet or can be engineered to plummet ....but you best have some legal eyes on the exact words of your divorce order ahead of things this time .

That is REALLY bad advice HRZ. The last person I saw do something like that lost ALL of the equity in the home to the other spouse, specifically for dissipating the asset.

 

[xylene]

Are you prevented from selling the house NOW?

Maybe you need to talk to someone about that.

 

[HRZ]

I never said to dissipate the asset ...

 

[Zigner]

... can be engineered to plummet ...

That would likely be considered a dissipation of the asset.

 

[xylene]

Just to take both sides... you immediately remarried your paramour and kept your old marital house. You maybe ought to have sold at the divorce and the situation of letting you keep the house might be a sweet deal for you as that house has appreciated plenty. Think of paying the mortgage as buying your share and paying the rent on hers... Maybe this didn't work out as badly for you as you imagined.

 

[Litigator22]

So, you now have been prompted with the novel idea that it makes "perfect sense" that you alone can sell the house and wait until she "asks" for her share of the money? Most interesting. However, it doesn't make an iota of sense, unless either:

1. Her name was not included as a grantee on the deed of conveyance whereby title to the family home was taken; nor was she subsequently added to the title.

2. The decree of divorce set the home over to you as your sole and separate property, subject only to the proviso covering its future sale and the 50/50 split. AND that the decree (or an appropriate abstract of the decree), or a quick claim deed from her to you was recorded in the county land office.

But I will lay odds that you CANNOT sell it without her written consent and participation all because the property was jointly acquired as community property; that the state of the record title includes her name as a vested owner; that nothing that came down as per the divorce decree was placed as a matter of record with the county land office removing her from the title.

 

[HRZ]

IF your job changed and you needed to move...could you rent it out with a long term lease?