amend custody

[Query1234]

My question is regarding amending current child custody orders. My husband and I physically have his kids with us 5 days out of seven in a given week (all year). However, on paper, their mom is supposed to have them during the school year and my husband is supposed to have them only two weeknights and the 3 weekends out of a month and the summer. I have been documenting the "real" visitation that has been taking place for over 3 years now. The kids' mom has been verbally and physically abusive to her oldest child on many occasions and we feel that perhaps her actions are now affecting the child's physical state (as she gets stomach pains quite often and is constantly ill). What are our chances of winning the case if we were to go back to court and try for full custody? And also, in California, what's the legal age a child needs to be when she/he can request to live with a specific parent? Will a journal and testimony of the child suffice as evidence of visitation and abuse? And lastly, how do you change the jurisdiction of a case from one county to the next if the original case was opened somewhere else? Thank you.

 

[billyjean]

The father needs to find out just how extensive the abuse is, and report the mother to the appropriate social services agency. I am a volunteer for the child abuse prevention council in my town, and we always point people in the direction of CPS (child protective services) once you have this and it is documented you will have more leeway with the judge. You've documented the visitation as I have done, and that's great. Simply file a motion to amend, and be prepared when the court date arrives.

 

[Query1234]

Thank you

Thanks Billyjean for your response. I guess my husband's never really gone to CPS because he's wanted his ex to shape up without going to drastic measures, but perhaps that is what needs to be done to get her into shape. I realize now that we also need a paper trail (third party) to document her actions and if anything, it'll put fear in her so that she will no longer abuse her child. The child is what's most important to us and if that stops her from continuing her practices then so be it. Thanks again.

 

[billyjean]

afraid for child

If your husband chooses to do this, you both need to sit down with the child and make sure she is aware of what to do, in the event of an emergency. My husbands ex, went ballistic after her daughter told on her, and attacked her, then told her if she cost her, her children, she'd kill her. My stepdaughter lived with her for one year and two months, during that time her mother physically abused her twice, she told me she didn't know if they would do anything, if she called the police. If your stepdaughter has been treated this way for a long time, she may feel it's "normal". It's not. So many children think it's normal for a parent to hit with a "fist", not realizing it's not. Thank God there are more programs out there such as the puppet shows done in our schools, that inform kids when something is not right. Your kids need counseling, it will help them in so many ways. The best part, it will help in their relationship with you as well as their father. And maybe you can even have the judge demand that the mother have a psychological evaluation done. (Here in VA, all we had to do, was ask the judge to have her do this)Perhaps even force her into counseling. Which we also did, and the mother was found in contempt because she wouldn't go. (She had too many secrets and didn't want a counselor figuring her out) I will pray for you, and wish you the very best. Life is hard enough on the children of today without Mommy's or Daddy's making it worse.