Another Issue - Help Needed

[mommyto 2]

What is the name of your state? NJ
Hi everyone, it has been a while but I need your input again.
Quick background I have been divorced for 8 years. Have 2 children, I am primary parent. Ex has serious, documented mental health issues. He has remarried.

New issues ex started allowing his wife to write to children's teachers requesting meetings and information. My lawyer wrote to ex's attorney to have his client (ex) put a stop to this behavior. Ex's attorney stated that I need to accept this woman as part of children's life. Okay - I know she gets to be with them during ex's visitation, but I have serious issues with her involving herself in educational and/or educational decisions. From what I have read on this forum, I am fine in this area.

Now the other thing, ex is going to take me back to court to have it ordered that I attend family therapy. Just him and me. He feels this will help me and our commuunication. He does not like that we only communicate regarding the children via email. He wants us to have "oral" communication (his words). We stop talking due to many incidences of outburst by him that were threatening in nature. Has anyone ever heard of couples therapy after 8 years of divorce being ordered?

Thanks for the help!

 

[waitinMd]

the only thing I've ever heard of being ordered is the "co-parenting" series of classes and seminars.

he can request family therapy, but it doesn't mean he will get it, given the fact that you do communicate with him via email. I've never heard of anyone being court ordered to communicate orally.

 

[mommyto 2]

Okay then, him taking me back to court for the 3rd time - could this look like harassment. The last time he took me to court he got nothing and in fact was hit with much of my legal fees. Is there a way via the court to stop him from taking me back to court over and over again?

 

[Isis1]

there is nothing to prevent him from filing for motions over and over again. however, the judge hitting him with your legal fees is usually a good deterent. judges don't like being harrased either. it really is a big waste of their time.

 

[mommyto 2]

Thanks for the reply, that's what I was afraid of. Ex, due I believe, to the mental illness, thinks he is always the victim. This time he has stated he will get money from me because I won't speak to him. The scary thing is his lawyer is part of the process. I would think that an attorney would give better direction and advice.

 

[Humusluvr]

Ex, due I believe, to the mental illness, thinks he is always the victim. .

I think my ex has that same illness!

 

[Humusluvr]

The scary thing is his lawyer is part of the process. I would think that an attorney would give better direction and advice.

I think some attorneys just enjoy being paid. They will push whatever agenda a person is willing to pay for. Sad, but money makes the world go round.

 

[mommyto 2]

I understand that some attornies do things just for the money, but this situation is going to make me broke. My ex has 2 incomes coming in (his and wife's) to use to pay an attorney. And mind you I have never asked for an increase in child support since the divorce. I know I can't include ex's wife income in figuring child support, and wouldn't want to but it is hard on one salary to fight him nonstop. Last time he took me to court it cost over $10,000. He was ordered to pay $2000.00 of my fees.

I just can't imagine being required to be ordered to now sit in therapy with him!!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Continue to request that he pay 100% of your attorney fees. The judges do get tired of seeing you in front of them.

My X was ordered to meet with his other X for 30 minutes before pickup times at a neutral place. They had to show up - didn't necessarily have to speak to each other, but that was the intent.

 

[mommyto 2]

Hi Ginny - are you saying your x had to hang out with his other x for 30 minutes?
If I have to sit with my ex for 30 minutes it could get ugly. My ex scares me and has been threatening towards me in the past. I just want to be left alone but my ex is obssessed with me and so is his wife. It is very disturbing.