What is the name of your state? Michigan
In June 2007 my 16 year old son's mother (who lives in PA) asked that I assume custody. She was starting to have some behavioral problems with him and thought that I might be better able to handle them. I have 5 other children (13, 10, 9, 5, and 4) with my second wife and we have learned a LOT with them. After many, many discussions with him, his mother, my wife, and the other 5 kids, we agreed to take custody of my oldest son.
I hired an attorney in Pennsylvania to handle the transfer of custody. The new arrangement included everything that the original did, but flip-flopped the CP and NCP, with the exception of child support. I did not need it and we specifically stated in the custody papers that support was not to be paid. The case has never been transferred to Michigan.
We purchased a new house (with more bedrooms, he's 16 and shouldn't have to share a room), and a new van (6 kids is a lot to move around); we sold the old ones.
When my son came to live with us he was homesick (understandable) but soon came around. His grades improved, he has been provided with everything (within reason) that he's asked for (dog, PS3, his own room), and has even been dating a very nice girl from school.
Unfortunately, he does not get along with all 5 of the other kids. He and my 13 y.o. daughter do not get along in any way. My 10 y.o. son has become disenchanted with him after finding out that my oldest son rarely tells the truth. The other 3 are still young enough to think the 16 y.o. is the cat's meow.
I was quite dumbfounded when my oldest son told me last month that he wanted to go back and live with his mother in PA. After some discussion he agreed to wait a while and think about what he was wanting to do. He has since returned to me and restated his desires (very maturely and responsibly).
I am very willing to let any of my children make some of the decisions concerning themselves and the whole family. As they get older and more responsible, I let them make more of the decisions. I think my son is old enough to live with this decision (no matter how much I may dislike it).
My problem is this: Even if we just flip-flop the last custody agreement, will we be forced by the State of Pennsylvania to include child support in this agreement if she is using any form of financial assistance?
Don't get me wrong, I very willingly paid child support the first time (16 years) and spent long hours on the road between PA and MI (with hotel costs thrown in) to see him. But now that we have a larger house (with a larger mortgage) and a larger vehicle (of course, a larger payment), I don't know that I will be able to afford child support or see him as often.
I have read a lot of the other threads on this site and can imagine some of the replies I will get but his mother is doing better financially at this time and I think he will be happier (very important to me) in PA.
OMG, sorry for such a looooooong post!
What is the name of your state?
In June 2007 my 16 year old son's mother (who lives in PA) asked that I assume custody. She was starting to have some behavioral problems with him and thought that I might be better able to handle them. I have 5 other children (13, 10, 9, 5, and 4) with my second wife and we have learned a LOT with them. After many, many discussions with him, his mother, my wife, and the other 5 kids, we agreed to take custody of my oldest son.
I hired an attorney in Pennsylvania to handle the transfer of custody. The new arrangement included everything that the original did, but flip-flopped the CP and NCP, with the exception of child support. I did not need it and we specifically stated in the custody papers that support was not to be paid. The case has never been transferred to Michigan.
We purchased a new house (with more bedrooms, he's 16 and shouldn't have to share a room), and a new van (6 kids is a lot to move around); we sold the old ones.
When my son came to live with us he was homesick (understandable) but soon came around. His grades improved, he has been provided with everything (within reason) that he's asked for (dog, PS3, his own room), and has even been dating a very nice girl from school.
Unfortunately, he does not get along with all 5 of the other kids. He and my 13 y.o. daughter do not get along in any way. My 10 y.o. son has become disenchanted with him after finding out that my oldest son rarely tells the truth. The other 3 are still young enough to think the 16 y.o. is the cat's meow.
I was quite dumbfounded when my oldest son told me last month that he wanted to go back and live with his mother in PA. After some discussion he agreed to wait a while and think about what he was wanting to do. He has since returned to me and restated his desires (very maturely and responsibly).
I am very willing to let any of my children make some of the decisions concerning themselves and the whole family. As they get older and more responsible, I let them make more of the decisions. I think my son is old enough to live with this decision (no matter how much I may dislike it).
My problem is this: Even if we just flip-flop the last custody agreement, will we be forced by the State of Pennsylvania to include child support in this agreement if she is using any form of financial assistance?
Don't get me wrong, I very willingly paid child support the first time (16 years) and spent long hours on the road between PA and MI (with hotel costs thrown in) to see him. But now that we have a larger house (with a larger mortgage) and a larger vehicle (of course, a larger payment), I don't know that I will be able to afford child support or see him as often.
I have read a lot of the other threads on this site and can imagine some of the replies I will get but his mother is doing better financially at this time and I think he will be happier (very important to me) in PA.
OMG, sorry for such a looooooong post!
What is the name of your state?