Answers Please

[tigger22472]

Yes, he is working as a subcontract salesman for a pool co on commision only. He only sees a check when the ground is broken on a pool.

He did say he would do what he could as far as gas is concerned, but he hasn't even been able to pay his bills. I just don't forsee him able to do much at this point. I am currently covering all health care ins, dental ins, day care, and all day to day expenses, etc.etc....

This is just a little frustrating knowing that it could be a long time before he can get insurance, pay the fines and renew the license.

Ok.. I was just checking and although I do admire you for what you are doing for the relationship between your child and his father but would caution you on being taken advantage of. I don't want to sound bad here but it happens every single day. You have someone who isn't paying support (and obviously not working in a steady field in which he can pay support), not being able to drive (yet has made that worse by being caught driving, making it longer until he will be able to), and not fullfilling other duties ordered by the court. In the short term to help that's fine and again admirable. In the long term it could turn into him using you. Often times when you start these things they are expected to continue. I hope that isn't the case here but just keep in mind when in doubt you and YOURs are what count. Do not put yourself out to pick up the pieces of his life. Does your son benefit in seeing his dad? Yes, I'm sure of it. But he's not going to benefit when you can't afford to feed or clothe him. If this becomes a repeating thing for dad the child will see that too.

 

[LdiJ]

While I agree it would be nice if mom could drive the entire way, however with gas prices the way they are and the fact dad isn't paying child support may not make that possible. On top of this LEGALLY her only obligation is to drive half way. The idea of a reciept showing where she's been is a good idea through even if she does only go half way.

I realize we have a legal and a moral right here. Morally it would be nice for mom to drive all the way for the benefit of the child but again, that might not be an option. IMO if she's not getting child support then she's caring for this child completely on her dime and she has to look out for her and hers. If driving all the way twice a weekend is going to take for instance away from her gas to get to her job or take enough money from her home to risk not having as much food or whatever, then dad needs to figure out what HE is going to do to meet HIS obligations. While it is a CPs job to help foster a relationship between a child and a NCP it is not their obligation to go above and beyond what is required by the law, especially if it puts a hardship somewhere else.

2 1/2 hours is about 150 miles. That would be 600 miles per weekend. If her car gets 20 miles to the gallon that's 30 gallons. In my area its now just at 3.00 per gallon for regular, so that 90.00 per weekend, without even taking into consideration wear and tear on the car. Adding another 1200 miles per month on her car (half of the total) is rough on a car....that alone is more than the yearly average for car mileage. On top of that an extra 45.00 per week for gas (1/2 of the total) would put a pretty serious dent in most people's budgets....particularly if they are having to deal without child support.

I don't blame mom one bit for feeling that she is financially unable to make the whole trip. Dad needs to find a licensed driver to accompany him...plain and simple.

 

[tigger22472]

2 1/2 hours is about 150 miles. That would be 600 miles per weekend. If her car gets 20 miles to the gallon that's 30 gallons. In my area its now just at 3.00 per gallon for regular, so that 90.00 per weekend, without even taking into consideration wear and tear on the car. Adding another 1200 miles per month on her car (half of the total) is rough on a car....that alone is more than the yearly average for car mileage. On top of that an extra 45.00 per week for gas (1/2 of the total) would put a pretty serious dent in most people's budgets....particularly if they are having to deal without child support.

I don't blame mom one bit for feeling that she is financially unable to make the whole trip. Dad needs to find a licensed driver to accompany him...plain and simple.

I agree with you. I just don't want to see the poster concentrating so much on fostering this relationship and in the process harm her own well being in it. ALthough it is the duty of the CP to help foster it's also not their responsibility to do it all. My fear is that this parent is going to continue to not stand up to the plate because he has people holding his hand and doing everything for him. Am I jaded? Maybe But I've seen it 100 times.