any other advice?

[smokeybear]

Would anyone else care to offer opinions/advice?
I will take all I can get, look at my previous post.

 

[usmcfamily]

Smokey~~
I know exactly where you are coming from -- my daughter's father is a heavy smoker (as is the rest of his family/friends) and my daughter would come home from visitations reeking of smoke! We were 500 miles apart and would meet halfway for dropoff/pickup and I would always bring fresh clothes with me because I couldn't stand to even leave her in the stinky clothes all the way home -- not to mention that she had several respitory problems the first couple years ...... funny, always right after a visit...go figure!
Anyway, you are looking for advice, not another sob story so here goes --- with the current flux of information on just how bad second-hand smoke is (and most especially for young children by the way) it is actually more common than not that you can find ways to have the issue addressed in custody orders. Depending, of course, on the attitude of your local magistrate that is. So happens ours had a family history of problems caused by smoking and was therefor more sympathetic to my plea -- the father is under order not to smoke withing any closed are in my daughter's presence (including car during transport, house, etc...). When presented with the evidence from my dr - the reports of the illnesses along with supporting documents to show the proximity to visitation dates - it was pretty obvious that the continuous exposure to the smoke she was getting was the main cause of the issue.
My best advice to you is to start contacting family law attorneys in your area and take them up on the "free consultation" until you find one who seems to agree with you.....best chance of winning is to have an attorney who is actually on your side ! Or, you can try an internet search for childrens/father's rights groups and contact them - they can direct you to attorneys as well.
In my opinion, this amounts to nothing short of child endangerment on your ex's part -- we all know what smoke does to kids, and how anyone could wish that upon an innocent child, I don't know.....your challenge, however is going to be convincing the judge. Start getting statements from physicians, the American Cancer Society, anywhere you can think of and get yourself ready to fight -- at least you know you will be fighting the good fight as you are fighting for the health/life of your child.
Good luck and God Bless

 

[MommaChelle]

Hi Smokey bear! While I am not a lawyer I think it is worth going after. I have a relative that has had ongoing issues going on with his child. The child lives with the mother and the mother is on assistance. She was told by a social worker that smoking in the home in the presence of children in that state is not considered a form of abuse! I would stick close to getting doctor's opinions and treat it as a health issue though, not a personal attack on the mother. We unfortunately all know how that turns out. Just my two cents

MommaChelle

 

[MommaChelle]

Pardon my awful typos ......smoking in the presence of a child or in the home the child resides in the State IS considered a form of abuse by child welfare. Sorry.

 

[smokeybear]

usmc & mommachelle!

MommaChelle: where could i possibly get proof of or like a document stating child welfare says smoking in the household or in the presence of the child is ABUSE!????

Anyone know where to get that on paper?

Thanks for all of your advice-I think in the future I will need all of this in a courtroom!

Also usmc: does he follow this? We were thinking we should not go in for a change of custody as a first step-but make so the court puts an order like they put on your ex. Then knowing she wouldnt follow it and we could surely smell it on the baby take her back in for contept of court for disobeying the courts ruling and then file for custody. I dont feel my son should suffer this horrible abuse, and i do feel this is abuse. I have rights to his medical records so i can also surely have his doctor write up that the smoking is not helping his frequent ear infections and colds. I as i said before i took my cam corder to many visits and it shows the mother continually smoking so, there is proof right there! I also think she puts the baby off on her mom quite frequently but I dont know how i would proove that. well, tell me what you think=-)

[Edited by smokeybear on 12-01-2000 at 01:18 PM]

 

[LegalBeagle]

Re: usmc & mommachelle!

MommaChelle: where could i possibly get proof of or like a document stating child welfare says smoking in the household or in the presence of the child is ABUSE!????

All you really need is the co-operation of the childs doctor. Even if the mother can not be proved to be the one smoking, she is responsible for the child and should protect the child from other smokers. If there is clear medical evidence to support that the child is suffering because of smoke, then you have your case.

 

[MommaChelle]

I would contact your local division of youth and family services and ask them. In some cases I am told it is treated like the "seat belt law". You rarely get pulled over for no seat belt, but will get a ticket for that if you are pulled over for something else. Same thing with children's services, they sometimes enforce this with families they are already having problems with. Working closely with a physician is the best thing. As stated by another before, the doctor stating it is physically affecting the child/children and her still smoking around them just might be your ticket.

MommaChelle