any safeguards before marriage?

[gump123]

What is the name of your state? TX

I have a child with a woman whom I am now engaged to. The child was unplanned, but I am doing my best to be responsible and do the right thing so we got engaged and are living togther raising the child. She wants to be married more than anything.

Being married (in general) is not exactly what I want but I want to do what is best for the kid and his mother and I get along ok.

I am worried because I have a fairly high paying job, own a home, several vehicles, land, a business ,etc. I am not a millionaire or rich by any means but I am doing pretty well and have worked really hard for what I have. Also half of my home was paid for by an inheritance from my grandparents. BTW I am 27 and she is 23. She on the other hand has nothing. Her family is very poor and I basically support her. She just has a high school education, and a minimum wage job.

I do love her but I just can't keep from worrying about all I might lose if we got married and then divorced. Basically I have everything to lose and she has everything to gain. A prenupt is out of the question as she refuses to sign one. She says it is just a free ticket for me to leave her whenever I want.

I guess this is more of a personal dilemna than legal, but is there anything I can do to protect what I have now? That is can I file somewhere what I own today and then if we get divorced I retain all of that? I just really have a feeling if we get married we are either going to get divorced soon within a year or two or last forever. I want it to last forever but am worried about what if.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? TX

I have a child with a woman whom I am now engaged to. The child was unplanned, but I am doing my best to be responsible and do the right thing so we got engaged and are living togther raising the child. She wants to be married more than anything.

Being married (in general) is not exactly what I want but I want to do what is best for the kid and his mother and I get along ok.

I am worried because I have a fairly high paying job, own a home, several vehicles, land, a business ,etc. I am not a millionaire or rich by any means but I am doing pretty well and have worked really hard for what I have. Also half of my home was paid for by an inheritance from my grandparents. BTW I am 27 and she is 23. She on the other hand has nothing. Her family is very poor and I basically support her. She just has a high school education, and a minimum wage job.

I do love her but I just can't keep from worrying about all I might lose if we got married and then divorced. Basically I have everything to lose and she has everything to gain. A prenupt is out of the question as she refuses to sign one. She says it is just a free ticket for me to leave her whenever I want.

I guess this is more of a personal dilemna than legal, but is there anything I can do to protect what I have now? That is can I file somewhere what I own today and then if we get divorced I retain all of that? I just really have a feeling if we get married we are either going to get divorced soon within a year or two or last forever. I want it to last forever but am worried about what if.

It may be too late. You are living together and may be in what is called an "informal marriage" in Texas. I would bet if you backed out of the marriage now, this is what she would claim.

It doesn't sound like you are ready too be married. (It doesn't sound like she's really ready either.) Getting married or staying married for the sake of a child is not a good idea.

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state? TX

I have a child with a woman whom I am now engaged to. The child was unplanned, but I am doing my best to be responsible and do the right thing so we got engaged and are living togther raising the child. She wants to be married more than anything.

Being married (in general) is not exactly what I want but I want to do what is best for the kid and his mother and I get along ok.

I am worried because I have a fairly high paying job, own a home, several vehicles, land, a business ,etc. I am not a millionaire or rich by any means but I am doing pretty well and have worked really hard for what I have. Also half of my home was paid for by an inheritance from my grandparents. BTW I am 27 and she is 23. She on the other hand has nothing. Her family is very poor and I basically support her. She just has a high school education, and a minimum wage job.

I do love her but I just can't keep from worrying about all I might lose if we got married and then divorced. Basically I have everything to lose and she has everything to gain. A prenupt is out of the question as she refuses to sign one. She says it is just a free ticket for me to leave her whenever I want.

I guess this is more of a personal dilemna than legal, but is there anything I can do to protect what I have now? That is can I file somewhere what I own today and then if we get divorced I retain all of that? I just really have a feeling if we get married we are either going to get divorced soon within a year or two or last forever. I want it to last forever but am worried about what if.

You don't come across as head over heels in love with her, so getting married shouldn't even be an option in your head.
Marrying for the wrong reasons won't do the child any good. You can both be great parents without getting married. Live together for a few more years and then re-evaluate the relationship.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

as a child in that situation

my parents did that...my mom married a friend so i would have a father(his family pushed them so i would "have a name") then they had my brother, and it ended horribly...it was abusive(i'm sure u arent, either way), but now that they have both told me what & why, i realized myself, that growin up in a home where my parents only married for me, and barely loved 1 another, it actually bothers me...i don't have kids, but i don't feel its a good reason...
i see where you are coming from...i've had many friends get married cos the girl got pregnant, and even if they went in with money, they are broke now...and won't divorce, b/c they are each afraid the child will hate them...
don't do something you arent ready for...
on your businesses, lol, my ex father-in-law put all of his things in his brothers name(w/ a statement that said only for business purposes, and that even though it was in his name, only my father in law could make decisions)and when my mother in law filed for divorce after 6 years of marriage, all she got was CS, b/c the husbands belongings were all registered in his brothers name..
i know that sounds wrong, but that was his thing, and since they didnt own anything together, she couldnt disagree with it, and since he transferred everything BEFORE the marriage, she wasn't entitled to it...however, he made it to where in the event of his death, all of it would go to my exhusband and his brother...

 

[LdiJ]

Go get a consult with a local attorney. Premarital assets can remain separate property if handled properly.

My brother lost the love of his life....and didn't even realize that she was until she was gone...because he was so worried about protecting his "stuff", that he didn't realize what he was losing. You may also discover that you already meet the requirements for an informal marriage...as the other poster mentioned.