Anybody know how to help me...?

[MissBehave]

What is the name of your state? Washington

Ok, here's our case that we DESPERATELY need advice on:

My husband met a girl at a party before we were together, and they concieved a child. After he found out she was pregnant, he also found out she had a heroine/crack/coke problem(s) and was also a prostitute when the mood struck her (talk about picking a winner). She in no way wanted to be a mother, but my husband loves children, and wanted to take custody of his child and promised to take care of her while pregnant as long as she stayed clean.

Well, she stayed clean until her 7th month, and when he found out he was REAL mad... she then ran off and dissapeared. That was three years ago, and since then, we've had NO luck getting his visitation (there isn't a parenting plan yet because we want to persue custody instead) with his son and it's so hard to even find her, so my husband has no emotional bond with his son at all- which worries us as far as his custody case goes.

We suspect she still has physical custody of him, and will relinquish custody if we play our cards right, and his son could have a MUCH better life. So we finally found her (maybe not him, she may have abandoned him somewhere- she did this with her first child). But we have to proceed with caution. If we alert her that we know where she is, she will most likely run and it'll take us another year to find her. If we lose a custody case, a lawyer we spoke to said it'd be really hard to appeal, so we HAVE to win. We can't afford to have a lawyer "work" this case, but we'll come up with the money once we have a strong case so we can be represented.

If anybody knows of where I can go to find free legal advice regarding custody, abandonment, and abuse/neglect, or if anybody has advise that'd be great!

 

[sirxamiel]

What is the name of your state? Washington

Ok, here's our case that we DESPERATELY need advice on:

My husband met a girl at a party before we were together, and they concieved a child. After he found out she was pregnant, he also found out she had a heroine/crack/coke problem(s) and was also a prostitute when the mood struck her (talk about picking a winner). She in no way wanted to be a mother, but my husband loves children, and wanted to take custody of his child and promised to take care of her while pregnant as long as she stayed clean.

Well, she stayed clean until her 7th month, and when he found out he was REAL mad... she then ran off and dissapeared. That was three years ago, and since then, we've had NO luck getting his visitation (there isn't a parenting plan yet because we want to persue custody instead) with his son and it's so hard to even find her, so my husband has no emotional bond with his son at all- which worries us as far as his custody case goes.

We suspect she still has physical custody of him, and will relinquish custody if we play our cards right, and his son could have a MUCH better life. So we finally found her (maybe not him, she may have abandoned him somewhere- she did this with her first child). But we have to proceed with caution. If we alert her that we know where she is, she will most likely run and it'll take us another year to find her. If we lose a custody case, a lawyer we spoke to said it'd be really hard to appeal, so we HAVE to win. We can't afford to have a lawyer "work" this case, but we'll come up with the money once we have a strong case so we can be represented.

If anybody knows of where I can go to find free legal advice regarding custody, abandonment, and abuse/neglect, or if anybody has advise that'd be great!

First of all, what I would do is I would go and try to find records of her drug abuse, such as police or rehab documents. You may or may not have trouble getting these, but you can get an attorney to get those for you. I would go ahead and file a case against her and get her summoned to court, that way, if she runs, then she will be arrested for failure to appear, and possibly lose her rights to custody. It sounds like you wouldnt have any trouble proving her unfit. But in the court proceedings, I would ask the judge to request the mother to seek help, and to help her to straighten her life out. Regardless of how bad she is, she is still the mother of the child. She can become a better person. I would bite my tongue and try to help her also with her problem. In the long run, it helps the child. The child is the most important issue, and later on in life, the child will ask about its mother. The child needs both a mother and a father, and you being the better person by trying to help her will help the child later. Im not saying to become her best friend or become a friend, but let her know that you intend on working with her so that her and the child can and will have a loving relationship. But make it firm that it will have to be up to her in that to happen. But since you think that she may have abandoned the child, I would contact the child neglect hotline in your state, and explain the problem. But I would make a move now, because if you wait, you may lose your chance.