Appalled...

[psfunkytek]

What is the name of your state? CA
I lost my job on 2/2/06 and filed and OSC to modify support in early May. The hearing was set for 6/6/06, but opposing counsel insisted that he had been subpeoned to testify out of state and wouldn't be back until the end of June. Ine the meantime, he has saddled me with three days of depositions (about my finances) but he found nothing and now he refuses to produce said subpeona for the case which was mysteriously setteled.

My question is twofold. 1) How long have attornies been know to be able to stall a support award because it seem to me, were I not living and supporting my child off of my retirement savings, I'd be destitute by now, and the court has done nothing and 2) what is the penality (if any) for an attorney, lying and manipulating the system like this pretending (and bullying) us into a continuance.

It would seem that he is trying to make my attempt to get additional support so expensive that I can't continue. It's frustrating because in all likelyhood, by the time the hearing comes up, I'll be back to work.

Does anyone have any experience with this? On the other hand, I've been told that once a parent goes through a considerable expense to AVOID support, they are then looked upon very unfavorably by the courts, because good parents are expected to support their kids.

Any feedback is appreciated.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

The last time my ex and I went to court, her attorney was shady and behaved inappropriately, too. We had gone to court to decide if I could claim the kids on my taxes, and the judge told SHADY ATTORNEY to write up the new Order. So he did. But at the end of it, he added an increase in child support! Child support was not even on the table for discussion- in fact, the judge told him that child support could NOT be changed without a new hearing. But he added an increase anyways... and not only that, waited until AFTER the judge had signed off on it before even sending in the "draft" for my attorney to review. My attorney had to file something and get it thrown out, and he had to rewrite the Order without the child support modification in it... just remembering all of this just makes my blood boil...

Back to you... the only thing I was advised to do in my above situation was file a complaint with the state bar for his misconduct. But I was told that probably nothing would happen, so I just let it go.

Your attorney should push this issue in court, if anything to discredit this attorneys character.

Good luck.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? CA
I lost my job on 2/2/06 and filed and OSC to modify support in early May.

Why did you lose your job, was it voluntary or involuntary? Have you found a new job or are you actively trying to find employment?

The hearing was set for 6/6/06, but opposing counsel insisted that he had been subpeoned to testify out of state and wouldn't be back until the end of June. Ine the meantime, he has saddled me with three days of depositions (about my finances) but he found nothing and now he refuses to produce said subpeona for the case which was mysteriously setteled.

My question is twofold. 1) How long have attornies been know to be able to stall a support award because it seem to me, were I not living and supporting my child off of my retirement savings, I'd be destitute by now, and the court has done nothing and

A good attorney could stall for months, sometimes years.

2) what is the penality (if any) for an attorney, lying and manipulating the system like this pretending (and bullying) us into a continuance.

Manipulating the system and coercing the other side for the benefit of their client is pretty much the whole reason to hire an attorney. If everything was black & white with no room for interpretation, hiring a lawyer wouldn't be necessary. Proving that the attorney was lying may be very difficult to do.

It would seem that he is trying to make my attempt to get additional support so expensive that I can't continue. It's frustrating because in all likelyhood, by the time the hearing comes up, I'll be back to work.

Honestly, it's not the other parent's responsibility to make up for YOUR loss of income.

Does anyone have any experience with this? On the other hand, I've been told that once a parent goes through a considerable expense to AVOID support, they are then looked upon very unfavorably by the courts, because good parents are expected to support their kids.

If he is paying the court ordered amount, he is NOT trying to avoid paying what he legally owes. He MAY be trying to avoid paying MORE and for good reason. There is no guarantee that support would be modified. You're right, a GOOD parent is expected to support their child. He is supporting the child through child support and you are supporting the child with your retirement savings.

 

[psfunkytek]

First, I know for a fact, he IS trying to avoid support, he hasn't made that a secret. Second, historically, I have handled 99.9% of our child's expenses and even with that, for many years, he tried to claim our child on his taxes and got nailed by both the judge and the IRS.

Finally, I don't know where you get the idea that I am expecting him to supplement MY loss of income, support is awarded in this state based on % of custody and amount of parents income, so my expectation is only that, nothing more. At least 75% of net pay went towards my daughters needs when I was working.

I was terminated from my job because they were tired of me having to be gone from the office for court appearences so frequently. Basically I was told, "the court controls you're time and we get what's left of you, it's not enough".

I am definately actively seeking work because if I don't take care of our child, she doesn't get taken care of (at least not very well), he spends him money on himself. When I was working, I made more money than he does and as such, the amount of support he paid (which was PERFECTLY fine with me) was not even enough to cover her food intake. But again, I am confused as to why you seem to think the money is for me?

Why did you lose your job, was it voluntary or involuntary? Have you found a new job or are you actively trying to find employment?

Honestly, it's not the other parent's responsibility to make up for YOUR loss of income.

 

[psfunkytek]

Appalled again..

First, I know for a fact, he IS trying to avoid support, he hasn't made that a secret. Second, historically, I have handled 99.9% of our child's expenses and even with that, for many years, he tried to claim our child on his taxes and got nailed by both the judge and the IRS.

Finally, I don't know where you get the idea that I am expecting him to supplement MY loss of income, support is awarded in this state based on % of custody and amount of parents income, so my expectation is only that, nothing more. At least 75% of net pay went towards my daughters needs when I was working.

I was terminated from my job because they were tired of me having to be gone from the office for court appearences so frequently. Basically I was told, "the court controls you're time and we get what's left of you, it's not enough".

I am definately actively seeking work because if I don't take care of our child, she doesn't get taken care of (at least not very well), he spends him money on himself. When I was working, I made more money than he does and as such, the amount of support he paid (which was PERFECTLY fine with me) was not even enough to cover her food intake. But again, I am confused as to why you seem to think the money is for me?

As for the person who gave me advice on the attorny's conduct, thanks, that's very helpful.

Why did you lose your job, was it voluntary or involuntary? Have you found a new job or are you actively trying to find employment?

Honestly, it's not the other parent's responsibility to make up for YOUR loss of income.

 

[ceara19]

I never said that I though the money was for YOU. If the only reason for requesting the modification is because YOU lost YOUR job, for whatever reason, you are asking the court to make HIM pay more support because of YOUR loss of income.

If he loses his job next month, will you be lowering HIS payments?

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

If he loses his job next month, will you be lowering HIS payments?

Good point. Or when you DO find a new job, and if it happens to pay much much better than your old one, will you request a reduction? After all, your child would be benefiting from your hypothetical raise.

 

[psfunkytek]

Confused

Of COURSE I would! As I will VOLUNTAIRLY do when I find a new job. Of course support changes when THE PARENTS income changes, what are children supposed to support themselves of their OWN income?

I'm genuinely confused. The parents income is used to support children, so when parents income changes (or is eliminated) it affects support. That's the whole point of support. Maybe I don't understand. Under WHAT circumstances do you think support should be changed. My child is in elementary school with no income.

Can someone help me here? What is this poster trying to say?

I never said that I though the money was for YOU. If the only reason for requesting the modification is because YOU lost YOUR job, for whatever reason, you are asking the court to make HIM pay more support because of YOUR loss of income.

If he loses his job next month, will you be lowering HIS payments?

 

[psfunkytek]

Damn....

I don't know what type of co-parents you folks have been dealing with. When I don't need help supporting our child, I don't take it. Plain and simple, the fact that everyone assumes that I am trying to rip off the other parent is perplexing.

The reality is, our childs needs come FIRST for me, before everything else. I'm sorry if everyone has been dealing with parents who are trying to financially screw the other, OBVIOUSLY people who haven't put their personal issues aside to look out for the best interest of their children. That is NOT who I am. The reality is my ex has a VERY, VERY long way's to go before he's supported her even a fraction of the amount I have so I would have THOUGHT he would be ashamed to spend his money FIGHTING support instead of using it to support his own child.

Is this a forum of parents who put their children first, or angry, bitter adults who can't see past their issues with their co-parent to do so. I put my child first no matter WHAT my ex does.

Good point. Or when you DO find a new job, and if it happens to pay much much better than your old one, will you request a reduction? After all, your child would be benefiting from your hypothetical raise.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Ok, I'm confused here. YOU lost YOUR job, right? So why should your EX pay MORE because YOU lost YOUR job? Did HIS income change? NO.

Unless I'm missing something here, and I hope I am, what I am hearing is that you're income was reduced, so you want your ex to pick up the slack until you get back on your feet.... is that right?

Do you have an attorney?

 

[CJane]

Of COURSE I would! As I will VOLUNTAIRLY do when I find a new job. Of course support changes when THE PARENTS

In most cases, you can't just change support based on a change in income alone. It usually needs to be a change over a certain percentage... and being unemployed, if you're in a state that takes both incomes into account, you can expect them to impute a comparable income for you anyway. Once child support is set, while it's not in stone... it's difficult to change it without something significant, or until a few years elapse.

 

[ceara19]

Of COURSE I would! As I will VOLUNTAIRLY do when I find a new job. Of course support changes when THE PARENTS income changes, what are children supposed to support themselves of their OWN income?

I'm genuinely confused. The parents income is used to support children, so when parents income changes (or is eliminated) it affects support. That's the whole point of support. Maybe I don't understand. Under WHAT circumstances do you think support should be changed. My child is in elementary school with no income.

Can someone help me here? What is this poster trying to say?

YOUR income going down due to the fact that you have lost your job is NOT enough to raise the child support being paid by the other parent. That is in NO WAY my OPINION on the matter. It is the LAW. There are many parents whose income changes WEEKLY. The courts are entirely too busy to hold child support modification hearings on the same case each and every time there is a temporary change in income.

Had your ex lost his job and came here asking how to go about lowering the amount he is ordered to pay, he would get the same exact answer that you are getting. It has nothing to do with whether or not the CHILD has any income.

Your state determines how much it takes to care for the child each month and then divides the amount between BOTH parents. As long as your ex is paying the amount that the court has decided that he is responsible for, his obligations are met. He is NOT responsible for coming up with the amount that YOU are responsible for providing.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Do you think OP be back to verbally bash everyone again?

 

[ceara19]

Do you think OP be back to verbally bash everyone again?

Either she FINALLY gets it and has no intention of coming back and apologising or she still has her head up her ass and has decided that this site is a waste of her time. My money is on the latter.