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Appealing a Domestic Violence RO. (not in a "dating" relationship and no actual abuse

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bobat

Junior Member
Appealing a Domestic Violence RO. (not in a "dating" relationship and no actual abuse

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Is it possible to appeal a DV RO on the basis of either of these two things?

1- The two people were not in a "dating" relationship. How exactly does California define this type of relationship?
The person who filed the RO against me cheated on me and as a result constantly told me that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately when he went to file the restraining order, he put down that I was his EX GIRLFRIEND and i checked that i agreed with the relationship. If I can prove that I was never his girlfriend will it be basis enough to overturn the RO? He constantly told me that we were not in a serious relationship after i found out he had cheated and we only dated for about 4-6 weeks, and had been "broken up" for about 5 months before he filed the RO.

2- The basis of the judge thinking it was in fact domestic violence was because I had self harmed with a knife in front of him. Is there any way to prove that suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with homicidal tendencies? The knife was solely for me and I would never inflict damage on any other person. If it is all about the presence of a "weapon" then couldn't someone also file an RO if they were in the kitchen while someone is cutting fruit and claims they felt "in danger"? Also, the guy who filed the RO never admitted to actually being AFRAID of me.

3- This probably won't overturn the entire RO, but he put down his current girlfriend as an additional person to protect. She was not in court, they have only been dating for a few weeks, and she does not live with him. Is it even legal for them to say I also have a restraining order to stay away from her if she never filed her own restraining order?

Thank you so much for any help.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Is it possible to appeal a DV RO on the basis of either of these two things?

1- The two people were not in a "dating" relationship. How exactly does California define this type of relationship?
The person who filed the RO against me cheated on me and as a result constantly told me that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately when he went to file the restraining order, he put down that I was his EX GIRLFRIEND and i checked that i agreed with the relationship. If I can prove that I was never his girlfriend will it be basis enough to overturn the RO? He constantly told me that we were not in a serious relationship after i found out he had cheated and we only dated for about 4-6 weeks, and had been "broken up" for about 5 months before he filed the RO.

2- The basis of the judge thinking it was in fact domestic violence was because I had self harmed with a knife in front of him. Is there any way to prove that suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with homicidal tendencies? The knife was solely for me and I would never inflict damage on any other person. If it is all about the presence of a "weapon" then couldn't someone also file an RO if they were in the kitchen while someone is cutting fruit and claims they felt "in danger"? Also, the guy who filed the RO never admitted to actually being AFRAID of me.

3- This probably won't overturn the entire RO, but he put down his current girlfriend as an additional person to protect. She was not in court, they have only been dating for a few weeks, and she does not live with him. Is it even legal for them to say I also have a restraining order to stay away from her if she never filed her own restraining order?

Thank you so much for any help.
Logic 101:

How can he cheat on you if he wasn't in a relationship with you?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Is it possible to appeal a DV RO on the basis of either of these two things?

1- The two people were not in a "dating" relationship. How exactly does California define this type of relationship?
The person who filed the RO against me cheated on me and as a result constantly told me that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately when he went to file the restraining order, he put down that I was his EX GIRLFRIEND and i checked that i agreed with the relationship. If I can prove that I was never his girlfriend will it be basis enough to overturn the RO? He constantly told me that we were not in a serious relationship after i found out he had cheated and we only dated for about 4-6 weeks, and had been "broken up" for about 5 months before he filed the RO.

2- The basis of the judge thinking it was in fact domestic violence was because I had self harmed with a knife in front of him. Is there any way to prove that suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with homicidal tendencies? The knife was solely for me and I would never inflict damage on any other person. If it is all about the presence of a "weapon" then couldn't someone also file an RO if they were in the kitchen while someone is cutting fruit and claims they felt "in danger"? Also, the guy who filed the RO never admitted to actually being AFRAID of me.

3- This probably won't overturn the entire RO, but he put down his current girlfriend as an additional person to protect. She was not in court, they have only been dating for a few weeks, and she does not live with him. Is it even legal for them to say I also have a restraining order to stay away from her if she never filed her own restraining order?

Thank you so much for any help.
I suggest you ask a local attorney about this.

I also advise you seek help for the danger you present to yourself and, IMO, others.

Good luck and Be Well.

Blue
 

bobat

Junior Member
I suggest you ask a local attorney about this.

I also advise you seek help for the danger you present to yourself and, IMO, others.

Good luck and Be Well.

Blue
Why do you think that I present a danger to others? I can't even kill a bug much less harm another human. And i have been hospitalized already...unfortunately it doesn't seem that that helps at all...I think 5150s should have court ordered therapy, but the hospitalization is completely unnecessary, and the cost will just make someone even more suicidal.

Homicide and suicide are too completely different things. A homicidal person wants others to feel pain for their mistakes. A suicidal person blames himself and would never hurt anyone else.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Why do you think that I present a danger to others? I can't even kill a bug much less harm another human. And i have been hospitalized already...unfortunately it doesn't seem that that helps at all...I think 5150s should have court ordered therapy, but the hospitalization is completely unnecessary, and the cost will just make someone even more suicidal.

Homicide and suicide are too completely different things. A homicidal person wants others to feel pain for their mistakes. A suicidal person blames himself and would never hurt anyone else.
You should really talk to an Attorney about this.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Is it possible to appeal a DV RO on the basis of either of these two things?
Forst, is this a TRO based upon the victim's application for a restraining order? OR! Is this a Criminal Protective order (CPO) based upon the court's own initative or request from the prosecutor as the result of a pending or sentenced criminal action?

1- The two people were not in a "dating" relationship. How exactly does California define this type of relationship?
The person who filed the RO against me cheated on me and as a result constantly told me that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately when he went to file the restraining order, he put down that I was his EX GIRLFRIEND and i checked that i agreed with the relationship. If I can prove that I was never his girlfriend will it be basis enough to overturn the RO? He constantly told me that we were not in a serious relationship after i found out he had cheated and we only dated for about 4-6 weeks, and had been "broken up" for about 5 months before he filed the RO.
If you were NOT in a "dating" relationship, how can they have "cheated" on you?

If you were anything but friends, then you were in a dating relationship. If you held hands, kissed, had sex, or anything else that dating people do, you were in a dating relationship. If you watched football, shared potato skins, and swigged beer watching the ball game and that was it, then you were friends.

2- The basis of the judge thinking it was in fact domestic violence was because I had self harmed with a knife in front of him. Is there any way to prove that suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with homicidal tendencies? The knife was solely for me and I would never inflict damage on any other person. If it is all about the presence of a "weapon" then couldn't someone also file an RO if they were in the kitchen while someone is cutting fruit and claims they felt "in danger"? Also, the guy who filed the RO never admitted to actually being AFRAID of me.
Domestic violence is a very broad term. Threatening to harm yourself, or doing so - either while in the other person's presence - could lead a reasonable person to fear for their own safety.

3- This probably won't overturn the entire RO, but he put down his current girlfriend as an additional person to protect. She was not in court, they have only been dating for a few weeks, and she does not live with him. Is it even legal for them to say I also have a restraining order to stay away from her if she never filed her own restraining order?
The RO he has against you does not concern you.

When the matter goes to court (if it has not yet) then you can tell the judge why you are not a threat to him and why you were never more than casual friends. Until then, obey the order to the letter as a DV restraining order is the only mandatory arrest code section in CA.
 

commentator

Senior Member
Excuse me, but homicide and suicide are both violent acts against a human being. In the psychiatric world, it is commonly recognized that many potential suicides are extremely angry and frustrated individuals. They may lack the nerve to hurt anyone but themselves, or to deal with the rage they feel toward someone else, or against the world in general, but really they're very angry and would like to make someone else very very sorry.

That you stood in front of him and threatened to harm yourself, that you refuse to admit you were in a relationship and then say he "cheated" on you, that you refer to the new girlfriend....oh well. You allowed yourself to be treated very very poorly, and now you are angry at both yourself and the person who treated you this way. Talk to your attorney, and please get thee to some counseling.
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

we only dated for about 4-6 weeks, and had been "broken up" for about 5 months before he filed the RO.

.
What happened in those 5 months that he decided to file the RO? Have you been stalking him?
 

bobat

Junior Member
Why do you think that I present a danger to others? I can't even kill a bug much less harm another human. And i have been hospitalized already...unfortunately it doesn't seem that that helps at all...I think 5150s should have court ordered therapy, but the hospitalization is completely unnecessary, and the cost will just make someone even more suicidal.

Homicide and suicide are too completely different things. A homicidal person wants others to feel pain for their mistakes. A suicidal person blames himself and would never hurt anyone else.
he denied being in a relationship when he broke it off with me in April. In August, when he filed the RO, he put down that I was his ex girlfriend. He is only using the word "girlfriend" to file the restraining order. Throughout the entire "relationship" he refused to acknowledge me as his girlfriend.
 

bobat

Junior Member
What happened in those 5 months that he decided to file the RO? Have you been stalking him?
No. We were friends. I thought he had stopped talking to the girl he cheated on me with so we were on good terms. It wasn't until i found out she was now his girlfriend that i showed up at his house and started cutting myself.
 

bobat

Junior Member
Excuse me, but homicide and suicide are both violent acts against a human being. In the psychiatric world, it is commonly recognized that many potential suicides are extremely angry and frustrated individuals. They may lack the nerve to hurt anyone but themselves, or to deal with the rage they feel toward someone else, or against the world in general, but really they're very angry and would like to make someone else very very sorry.

That you stood in front of him and threatened to harm yourself, that you refuse to admit you were in a relationship and then say he "cheated" on you, that you refer to the new girlfriend....oh well. You allowed yourself to be treated very very poorly, and now you are angry at both yourself and the person who treated you this way. Talk to your attorney, and please get thee to some counseling.

I NEVER refused to admit we were in a relationship. HE is the one who denied being in a relationship with me. Like I said, while we were dating he never admitted to being my boyfriend and when i found out he was flirting with another girl he said "but we weren't in a relationship"
then when he went to file the restraining order, he puts down that I am his ex girlfriend.
 

bobat

Junior Member
Forst, is this a TRO based upon the victim's application for a restraining order? OR! Is this a Criminal Protective order (CPO) based upon the court's own initative or request from the prosecutor as the result of a pending or sentenced criminal action?


If you were NOT in a "dating" relationship, how can they have "cheated" on you?

If you were anything but friends, then you were in a dating relationship. If you held hands, kissed, had sex, or anything else that dating people do, you were in a dating relationship. If you watched football, shared potato skins, and swigged beer watching the ball game and that was it, then you were friends.


Domestic violence is a very broad term. Threatening to harm yourself, or doing so - either while in the other person's presence - could lead a reasonable person to fear for their own safety.


The RO he has against you does not concern you.

When the matter goes to court (if it has not yet) then you can tell the judge why you are not a threat to him and why you were never more than casual friends. Until then, obey the order to the letter as a DV restraining order is the only mandatory arrest code section in CA.
It is a TRO. I was never given criminal charges, the guy went to the court to apply for the RO himself.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
he denied being in a relationship when he broke it off with me in April. In August, when he filed the RO, he put down that I was his ex girlfriend. He is only using the word "girlfriend" to file the restraining order. Throughout the entire "relationship" he refused to acknowledge me as his girlfriend.
That is irrelevant. Per your own admission you WERE in a relationship.
 

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