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[gotmyown3]

What is the name of your state? AL but MS jurisdiction

It's been awhile since I posted so briefly: my husband was given custody of my stepdaughter last summer after being abused by her stepfather. Her mother has visitation only if she comes to Alabama and it is only for one weekend a month. My stepdaughter has seen her only 4 times, September 2006, December 1, 2006, March 16, 2007 and April 21, 2007. Her mother does call her, every now and then, but she has not called since the last vist.

Everytime my stepdaughter has any contact with her mother, either personally or by phone, she "acts out" for days afterwards. I mean, she is angry and rebellious and my husband has to punish her. Well, after her mother came here for her visit on 4/21, my husband and I got called to the school because my stepdaughter "went off" on a teacher. Turns out, my stepdaughter's mother has been saying really rotten things to the child, and she didn't know how to handle her anger and so she just exploded. Her mother told her that "she'd never amount to anything as long as she lives in Alabama", that "she'd never see her little brother again unless she agreed to move back in with her mother", that her dad only wanted custody "for the income tax and child support", and during April 21st visit, her mother told her that she "hated her." Needless to say, we have the child in counseling. As soon as her mother found out about counseling, she called this past Sunday at 7:00 a.m. to demand that my husband tell her why, and wanted to know if the child was "doing drugs or smoking or drinking".

My husband gave her the name of the counselor, and the phone number, and she started screaming at my husband that he "was damaging the kid". I didn't see anything wrong with getting the child in counseling. Can she use this to take him back to court and get custody?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? AL but MS jurisdiction

It's been awhile since I posted so briefly: my husband was given custody of my stepdaughter last summer after being abused by her stepfather. Her mother has visitation only if she comes to Alabama and it is only for one weekend a month. My stepdaughter has seen her only 4 times, September 2006, December 1, 2006, March 16, 2007 and April 21, 2007. Her mother does call her, every now and then, but she has not called since the last vist.

Everytime my stepdaughter has any contact with her mother, either personally or by phone, she "acts out" for days afterwards. I mean, she is angry and rebellious and my husband has to punish her. Well, after her mother came here for her visit on 4/21, my husband and I got called to the school because my stepdaughter "went off" on a teacher. Turns out, my stepdaughter's mother has been saying really rotten things to the child, and she didn't know how to handle her anger and so she just exploded. Her mother told her that "she'd never amount to anything as long as she lives in Alabama", that "she'd never see her little brother again unless she agreed to move back in with her mother", that her dad only wanted custody "for the income tax and child support", and during April 21st visit, her mother told her that she "hated her." Needless to say, we have the child in counseling. As soon as her mother found out about counseling, she called this past Sunday at 7:00 a.m. to demand that my husband tell her why, and wanted to know if the child was "doing drugs or smoking or drinking".

My husband gave her the name of the counselor, and the phone number, and she started screaming at my husband that he "was damaging the kid". I didn't see anything wrong with getting the child in counseling. Can she use this to take him back to court and get custody?

Over him putting the child in counseling? Absolutely not. That would be viewed by the courts as a positive thing.

On top of that, if mom is still living with the abusive stepfather, then mom wouldn't have a prayer, anyway.

Of course, that doesn't mean that mom can't try.

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? AL but MS jurisdiction

It's been awhile since I posted so briefly: my husband was given custody of my stepdaughter last summer after being abused by her stepfather. Her mother has visitation only if she comes to Alabama and it is only for one weekend a month. My stepdaughter has seen her only 4 times, September 2006, December 1, 2006, March 16, 2007 and April 21, 2007. Her mother does call her, every now and then, but she has not called since the last vist.

Everytime my stepdaughter has any contact with her mother, either personally or by phone, she "acts out" for days afterwards. I mean, she is angry and rebellious and my husband has to punish her. Well, after her mother came here for her visit on 4/21, my husband and I got called to the school because my stepdaughter "went off" on a teacher. Turns out, my stepdaughter's mother has been saying really rotten things to the child, and she didn't know how to handle her anger and so she just exploded. Her mother told her that "she'd never amount to anything as long as she lives in Alabama", that "she'd never see her little brother again unless she agreed to move back in with her mother", that her dad only wanted custody "for the income tax and child support", and during April 21st visit, her mother told her that she "hated her." Needless to say, we have the child in counseling. As soon as her mother found out about counseling, she called this past Sunday at 7:00 a.m. to demand that my husband tell her why, and wanted to know if the child was "doing drugs or smoking or drinking".

My husband gave her the name of the counselor, and the phone number, and she started screaming at my husband that he "was damaging the kid". I didn't see anything wrong with getting the child in counseling. Can she use this to take him back to court and get custody?

If they have joint legal custody she could TRY to say she wasn't informed of this or allowed to have input on the decision for her to go to counseling.. BUT... worse case scenario, your husband is told to make sure he informs mom of these decisions. It's good that mom does know everything and if she calls the counselor running her mouth then you have even more leverage. I wouldn't sweat it... I remember the story, you have proof of stuff....I don't say this often but I don't see mom having a chance in hell of getting a judge to give her custody. Besides, she's not consistent with the child, seeing her and such, do you really think she'd follow through with anything else?

 

[gotmyown3]

Thanks. It's just you never know wtih all this stuff. You know, if any of you met her mother, you'd like her and never believe all of the stuff she says. Even the judge at court didn't believe it, at first. She comes across so nice and she's a teacher herself, so she presents herself well. My husband is just a good ol' boy, works hard, sometimes says things like "ain't" and can't say Atlanta-he says Aklanta. But he loves his child.

 

[tigger22472]

Thanks. It's just you never know wtih all this stuff. You know, if any of you met her mother, you'd like her and never believe all of the stuff she says. Even the judge at court didn't believe it, at first. She comes across so nice and she's a teacher herself, so she presents herself well. My husband is just a good ol' boy, works hard, sometimes says things like "ain't" and can't say Atlanta-he says Aklanta. But he loves his child.

Let me guess... Gets the deer in the headlight look "Your Honor, I had absolutely no idea that there was a problem and if I did this would not have happened!" Trust me, there's more of her out there then you realize...lol

 

[cmykds]

We are dealing with almost the exact situation. My Step daughter was also abused (physically) by her step father. Their Mom is defending him tooth and nail. Currently she only has supervised visits, and we are speaking daily with CPS to keep it this way, they are continuiosly wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt, which in our opinion is why this abuse happend in the first place as we were raising the concern for the past 2 years while going through court for custody, but since we didn't have any "concrete evidence" nothing was done, I guess it takes a hospital stay for people to believe you. The abuse happend Dec. 27, 2006. Their mom has done nothing as far as the "steps" outlined by CPS, couseling, etc. And now we just found out this week that she is pregnant AGAIN. After just having been to a child support hearing 3 weeks ago (had to have a hearing because she objected to having to pay) where she cried and whined about not having enough money to live if she has to pay child support, a whole whopping $70 a week for 2 kids. But yet she's having another baby, this makes 4 kids under the age of 5, my two step kids and then her and her husband have another together. She also just recently moved AGAIN, making this 11 times since Oct 2005. She's full of stories and excuses and never takes any responsibility for anything it's always someone else's fault. To hear her tell it she doesn't have her kids anymore because my fiance and everyone (the police, the doctor's and the nurse's) made up lies about them.

She continues to say this was an accident, and refer to this man as "daddy" when speaking with the kids even gave them a valentines day card from him but since it was in her handwritting nothing happend it wasn't considered indirect or direct contact. CPS's response was well she probably didn't know, we'll talk to her. WTF, she is a grown woman she knows it's wrong to give her child a card from their abuser. He was just recently found guilty of child abuse Class F felony, he hasn't had sentancing yet though, he plead no contest but agreed that all of the evidence and facts were factual, he even gave a statement to the police saying that he did it, but still according to her it was an accident.

Just wanted to let you know, that there are plenty of "mother's" out there like the one you are dealing with...

 

[gotmyown3]

Freaked out!!!

Ok, this was my stepdaughter's mother's weekend, but as always, she didn't show.
HOWEVER.....just 30 minutes ago, I got a call on my cell phone from my husband's ex-wife's father, (I have NO idea how it got it. I've never called anyone other than my husband or friends, certainly never his ex or her father) and demanded that my stepdaughter be allowed to go get ice cream with him. We look outside and he was parked in the street. Said he'd been in South Carolina visiting his grandson and wanted to have ice cream with her on the way home. Thing is, she isn't here. She left an hour ago with a friend and the friend's mother. I gave the phone to my husband and let him deal with it. My husband told him that she was either at the mall or the mini golf park, that they were supposed to go to both places, and that my stepdaughter would be home at 7. The guy started yelling "you don't know where that baby is?" Then he wanted the home numbers and cell phone numbers of the parents. My husband refused, saying he was not going to give out their numbers without their permission. The man said if my husband didn't give him the numbers, he was calling the police, to which my husband replied "Mr. Montgomery, I urge you to call them. You have no rights to the child. Only her mother and I have rights. She will be home at 7. You can come back later. Next time, call in advance." Of course the man accused my husband of "being ugly" and my husband drives a company truck with that "How's my driving? Call ###-#####" thing on the back, so we could see him writing that number down. Our guess is, he'll call my husband's work and try to get him in trouble.

My question is, I guess, is there anything we can or should do about this?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, this was my stepdaughter's mother's weekend, but as always, she didn't show.
HOWEVER.....just 30 minutes ago, I got a call on my cell phone from my husband's ex-wife's father, (I have NO idea how it got it. I've never called anyone other than my husband or friends, certainly never his ex or her father) and demanded that my stepdaughter be allowed to go get ice cream with him. We look outside and he was parked in the street. Said he'd been in South Carolina visiting his grandson and wanted to have ice cream with her on the way home. Thing is, she isn't here. She left an hour ago with a friend and the friend's mother. I gave the phone to my husband and let him deal with it. My husband told him that she was either at the mall or the mini golf park, that they were supposed to go to both places, and that my stepdaughter would be home at 7. The guy started yelling "you don't know where that baby is?" Then he wanted the home numbers and cell phone numbers of the parents. My husband refused, saying he was not going to give out their numbers without their permission. The man said if my husband didn't give him the numbers, he was calling the police, to which my husband replied "Mr. Montgomery, I urge you to call them. You have no rights to the child. Only her mother and I have rights. She will be home at 7. You can come back later. Next time, call in advance." Of course the man accused my husband of "being ugly" and my husband drives a company truck with that "How's my driving? Call ###-#####" thing on the back, so we could see him writing that number down. Our guess is, he'll call my husband's work and try to get him in trouble.

My question is, I guess, is there anything we can or should do about this?

Grandpa was completely out line. He certainly should have called first to make arrangements to visit, and he certainly had no right to be so agressive about the whole thing.

I suggest that your husband talk to his boss on Monday and give him the "head up" about grandpa taking down that number.

Other than that, there really isn't anything else to do at this point.

 

[gotmyown3]

Thanks. It just really threw us for a loop.