Arrears Deal

[graybeard1952]

What is the name of your state? Texas
I am the custodial parent; my EX owes $8545 in arrears.
I just need some advice from someone who may have been through this. It has been a year since my child support case has gone to the “Legal Process”. She was sent and acknowledges receipt of a letter dated 2/16/2007, from the OAD demanding a payment of $2500 within 10 days. To date she has not responded.
She proposed a settlement of a lump sum of $3000 in return for me to ask that the additional $5845 be dismissed as arrears. Would this be advisable, as she has no job and the prospects of getting any of the arrears is dim considering the lack of action from the OAG?
Thank you in advance for your input and advice.

 

[nextwife]

Does she have assets? Is she married? Do they own a house? Might she return to work at some point? Might she want a passport to travel?

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? Texas
I am the custodial parent; my EX owes $8545 in arrears.
I just need some advice from someone who may have been through this. It has been a year since my child support case has gone to the “Legal Process”. She was sent and acknowledges receipt of a letter dated 2/16/2007, from the OAD demanding a payment of $2500 within 10 days. To date she has not responded.
She proposed a settlement of a lump sum of $3000 in return for me to ask that the additional $5845 be dismissed as arrears. Would this be advisable, as she has no job and the prospects of getting any of the arrears is dim considering the lack of action from the OAG?
Thank you in advance for your input and advice.

The decision is up to you. Just because she does not have a job that does not mean she should not be held responsible. Personally, I think you should refuse the settlement..that's ALOT she wants dumped. After all, if she is not working, where is she getting the 3k from for her proposed settlement?
Have you contacted the OAG re: if she does not pay, what next? A summons to court? Any personal property you can place a lien on (car, home, etc)?

 

[bononos again]

I would not advise this.
Nor, is it a guarantee CS would allow it.
You can never see the future and if something may happen that would make it necessary for you to need this money.
Letting a parent off the hook like that just allows them to continue to be irresponsible.
How old is the child?

 

[fairisfair]

Add me to the list of non advisors on this settlement. What the heck, she is hardly in a position to be making deals. The OAG has already demanded $2500, she thinks by throwing a $500 bone your way, you should forgive the equivalent of what appears to be months (if not years) of arrears. I would tell her to kiss my hiney. Of course THAT is not legal advice

 

[nextwife]

Here's the deal: if she is clearly disabled, terminally ill (heaven forbid) thus has a true, reason to never be able to earn that money, it might be worth considering.


However, if she is simply choosing to not work, forget it. Even if it needs to come out of her social security someday! And if she is co-owner of a house, get a CS lien filed against it! Some day they will want to sell it.

 

[graybeard1952]

She is single and owns no property or assets. The prospect of further employment is questionable, what work she has done in the past has been “under the table”, no record of income. She is going to get the $3000 from her Mother, essentially to keep her from going to jail.
The next step of the Legal Process is to summon her to court for a hearing. The OAG stated they have contracted a collection agency in an attempt to collect the arrears.
I am inclined to reject her proposal, but at the same time I could really use the money, $3000 is better than nothing, and she is obviously doing all she can to remain under the radar of the OAG. This could drag on for years and because of her alcohol and drug issues, she could be dead tomorrow.
I realize this is a personal choice, I was just curious whether anyone else has gone this route.
I personally would like her to own up to her responsibilities and do the right thing. The child support is only $200 a month, but after 3 and a half years of stalling and hiding this is the only glimmer of hope I have had in all this time.
It seems like legal extortion and leaves a bad taste, but in dealing with her in the past, I’ve grown accustom to the taste and hope for some sort of resolution.
Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

 

[nextwife]

She is single and owns no property or assets. The prospect of further employment is questionable, what work she has done in the past has been “under the table”, no record of income. She is going to get the $3000 from her Mother, essentially to keep her from going to jail.
The next step of the Legal Process is to summon her to court for a hearing. The OAG stated they have contracted a collection agency in an attempt to collect the arrears.
I am inclined to reject her proposal, but at the same time I could really use the money, $3000 is better than nothing, and she is obviously doing all she can to remain under the radar of the OAG. This could drag on for years and because of her alcohol and drug issues, she could be dead tomorrow.
I realize this is a personal choice, I was just curious whether anyone else has gone this route.
I personally would like her to own up to her responsibilities and do the right thing. The child support is only $200 a month, but after 3 and a half years of stalling and hiding this is the only glimmer of hope I have had in all this time.
It seems like legal extortion and leaves a bad taste, but in dealing with her in the past, I’ve grown accustom to the taste and hope for some sort of resolution.
Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

How old is she? Just because she is single NOW, doesn't mean she'll always be single. And yes, it's true that any of us could be gone tomorrow.. That is worth considering, because if she is abusing drugs, she COULD be gone tomorrow and you'd end up with nothing.

Do NOT release her from FUTURE support!

 

[ceara19]

She is single and owns no property or assets. The prospect of further employment is questionable, what work she has done in the past has been “under the table”, no record of income. She is going to get the $3000 from her Mother, essentially to keep her from going to jail.
The next step of the Legal Process is to summon her to court for a hearing. The OAG stated they have contracted a collection agency in an attempt to collect the arrears.
I am inclined to reject her proposal, but at the same time I could really use the money, $3000 is better than nothing, and she is obviously doing all she can to remain under the radar of the OAG. This could drag on for years and because of her alcohol and drug issues, she could be dead tomorrow.
I realize this is a personal choice, I was just curious whether anyone else has gone this route.
I personally would like her to own up to her responsibilities and do the right thing. The child support is only $200 a month, but after 3 and a half years of stalling and hiding this is the only glimmer of hope I have had in all this time.
It seems like legal extortion and leaves a bad taste, but in dealing with her in the past, I’ve grown accustom to the taste and hope for some sort of resolution.
Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

Personally, I wouldn't take the deal. You'd really only be gaining $500 TODAY, but you would be giving up almost $6K PLUS interest. If the OAG is sending her a demand letter with a purge amount, they are getting very close to arresting her. It can take anywhere from 15 to 90 days to get the warrant in order and attempt to arrest her, but the "lump sum" demand letter is the warning before arrest.

Since you've waited this long, I would let it run it's course. She can either pay up the $2500 through the OAG now or wait until she is arrested. The fact that she offered to make a "deal" with you is enough to keep the OAG from lowering the purge amount if they arrest her and may be enough to get them to raise it to $3000, since it appears as though she has access to that amount.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't really disagree with the others, but I am going to give you different advice. (someone has to present the other perspective)

If she is someone who is going to avoid paying, no matter what, and who is going to be unlikely to ever hold a job long enough to make sure you get regular child support, and if you really could use the 3k know...then take the deal.

Its not going to make her regular child support go away, and the arrearages are going to build back up again....and you will have at least received SOMETHING.

Someone said something about eventually collecting it from her social security....but that's unlikely to happen. If she has mostly worked under the table and is unlikely to have prospects of steady employment....she will end up being one of those people who won't be collecting any SS benefits, because she won't have any work credits.

 

[GrowUp!]

Here's another idea. Actually I thought of this while I was typing my earlier one, but decided to wait. How about working out an agreement with her and see if the OAG will go for it. Tell her to pay the 2500 that is being ordered by the OAG. Then if she agrees to pay you $300 bucks or so per month -- ON TIME -- NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS -- for the next 2 years, you will revisit the issue of possibly forgiving the remaining arrearage (and maybe tie in a clause about continuous support payments on time).

You are not agreeing that they will definitely be forgiven, but you will simply re-visit the issue and see where things stand. I was thinking with this type of agreement, you are getting the 2.5k you are owed, it also keeps her outta jail and also gives her an "incentive" to POSSIBLY have the remaining arrearage go away. Sadly, the incentive to her isn't ensuring her child is supported. You should also check to see, as someone suggested earlier, if it is even possible for you to do so.

 

[ceara19]

Here's another idea. Actually I thought of this while I was typing my earlier one, but decided to wait. How about working out an agreement with her and see if the OAG will go for it. Tell her to pay the 2500 that is being ordered by the OAG. Then if she agrees to pay you $300 bucks or so per month -- ON TIME -- NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS -- for the next 2 years, you will revisit the issue of possibly forgiving the remaining arrearage (and maybe tie in a clause about continuous support payments on time).

You are not agreeing that they will definitely be forgiven, but you will simply re-visit the issue and see where things stand. I was thinking with this type of agreement, you are getting the 2.5k you are owed, it also keeps her outta jail and also gives her an "incentive" to POSSIBLY have the remaining arrearage go away. Sadly, the incentive to her isn't ensuring her child is supported. You should also check to see, as someone suggested earlier, if it is even possible for you to do so.

If the OAG has taken the case to the point where they are demanding a lump sum payment, taking an offer from the ex would be bad for any future collection attempts.

The Texas OAG has FINALLY started to get serious about collecting on seriously delinquent accounts. Sounds like the mom in this case has finally made it to the top of their "hit list" for her county. Taking a deal from mom and forgiving the arrears would put her back on the bottom of that list. As a bonus for the OP, I hear that the OAG is starting to make examples of some parents that think they can avoid paying child support by working under the table. They are no loner giving a long term "pass" to those that pay a purge amount to get out of jail or out from under a warrant. If they fall behind an additional 30 days on the current support or the monthly arrears payments, it's back to jail!

 

[critterperson]

She is single and owns no property or assets. The prospect of further employment is questionable, what work she has done in the past has been “under the table”, no record of income. She is going to get the $3000 from her Mother, essentially to keep her from going to jail.The next step of the Legal Process is to summon her to court for a hearing. The OAG stated they have contracted a collection agency in an attempt to collect the arrears.
I am inclined to reject her proposal, but at the same time I could really use the money, $3000 is better than nothing, and she is obviously doing all she can to remain under the radar of the OAG. This could drag on for years and because of her alcohol and drug issues, she could be dead tomorrow.
I realize this is a personal choice, I was just curious whether anyone else has gone this route.
I personally would like her to own up to her responsibilities and do the right thing. The child support is only $200 a month, but after 3 and a half years of stalling and hiding this is the only glimmer of hope I have had in all this time.
It seems like legal extortion and leaves a bad taste, but in dealing with her in the past, I’ve grown accustom to the taste and hope for some sort of resolution.
Thanks for letting me bend your ears.

If her mother is willing to give her $3000 to prevent her from going to jail I would hang in there and NOT settle. It sounds terrible but parents that tend to enable their children (or support deadbeat parents) will dig deep in their pockets to save their "babies" ...If her mother is already talking about pulling out the checkbook.... allow the state to arrest your ex and watch the cash flow from mommy- to her "baby"- to you...You should not have to forgive such a large amount and if I were you I wouldn't...JMO

 

[graybeard1952]

Thank you all for your input. Great advice from one and all. I have decided to reject her offer for the moment and let the OAG action run its course. I have told my EX that I will re-visit the offer in the future should I see her owning up to her responsibilities.
I am a co-dependent, and have decided to no longer enable her bad behavior. Sometimes it takes jail time for those in a downward spiral of substance abuse, to snap out of it and do the right thing. If not now, when? Now is as good as time as any. I have been waiting for 3 and a half years, what’s another 6 months at this point. She is going to pay the 3K whether I accept her offer or not. Either that or go to jail.
Thanks again for your advice.