arrears, settle or not?

[disturbeddreame]

What is the name of your state (FL)?

Back Child Support
Sorry if I'm not supposed to include real numbers..

ex offered $7-9,000.
he says he can only pay $300 a month.

ex owes $6,000 (birth/medical bills cost)
and I have receipts which show $12,000 more (reasoning he should pay another $6,000)
OR you could say $300 a month for the first 22 months , which would still be $6,000.


I feel like my receipts or saying 300 a month is SO LOW. I know I spent far more on her, and it bothers me that he wants to negotiate over whether she "needed" 5 pajamas and could have gotten by with 2.

I think that mmy figures are very reasonable, & I would have a good chance winning.

Should I settle or take it back to court?

 

[bononos again]

What is the name of your state (FL)?

Back Child Support
Sorry if I'm not supposed to include real numbers..

ex offered $7-9,000.
he says he can only pay $300 a month.

ex owes $6,000 (birth/medical bills cost)
and I have receipts which show $12,000 more (reasoning he should pay another $6,000)
OR you could say $300 a month for the first 22 months , which would still be $6,000.


I feel like my receipts or saying 300 a month is SO LOW. I know I spent far more on her, and it bothers me that he wants to negotiate over whether she "needed" 5 pajamas and could have gotten by with 2.

I think that mmy figures are very reasonable, & I would have a good chance winning.

Should I settle or take it back to court?

Huh!?!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (FL)?

Back Child Support
Sorry if I'm not supposed to include real numbers..

ex offered $7-9,000.
he says he can only pay $300 a month.

ex owes $6,000 (birth/medical bills cost)
and I have receipts which show $12,000 more (reasoning he should pay another $6,000)
OR you could say $300 a month for the first 22 months , which would still be $6,000.


I feel like my receipts or saying 300 a month is SO LOW. I know I spent far more on her, and it bothers me that he wants to negotiate over whether she "needed" 5 pajamas and could have gotten by with 2.

I think that mmy figures are very reasonable, & I would have a good chance winning.

Should I settle or take it back to court?

What does your court order state? When did you give him copies of all the bills? When was paternity established? How old is the child?

 

[disturbeddreame]

DD is 2. paternity is established. court order says parties will meet to discuss him paying a portion of her prenatal delivery and expenses from birth til 22 months.
I gave him copies 3 weeks ago.

 

[Ohiogal]

DD is 2. paternity is established. court order says parties will meet to discuss him paying a portion of her prenatal delivery and expenses from birth til 22 months.
I gave him copies 3 weeks ago.

He will pay a portion. why should it be 50%? What is the income differential between the two of you? did you have insurance? Medicaid? Anything of that nature? Why did it take you two years to establish paternity?

 

[disturbeddreame]

I had NO medical insurance, I was unable to go back to work right away b/c DD refused a bottle. She is still not weaned so i work part time. He has a fulltime job and when we split almost 3 years ago was making 25 percent more than me. Now I'm only working parttime he makes at least triple what I make in a week.

He never supported her in any way so after a year I said "get a lawyer and get your rights AND your responsibilities"

I told him if he didn't want to take on the responsibilites of a dad that it was fine with me and I would not take him to court, but that he wasn't welcome in the home.

9 months later, after not seeing her long enough for her to forget who he was, he filed.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly if your child is not weaned then that is YOUR fault. Why didn't you apply for medicaid while pregnant?

 

[disturbeddreame]

I hope I did not come across as complaining that my toddler hasn't weaned. I was just stating thats why I work part time. The WHO and AAP both recommend breastfeeing until at least age 2 and as long thereafter as mutually beneficial and desired by mother and child. (Of course I don't plan to be nursing an 8 year old in public on national tv but..)

It is beautiful to nurse my daughter & while it has not been easy for me NEVER getting a break or night off because she refuses to drink out of a bottle, I am not sorry.

I could go back to work all day and leave her, but I don't want too. It is tough but I want to spend the time with her until she goes to kindergarden.
When I'm gone she cries for me almost everyday before her nap, so I can't bring myself to leave her until I have to.

BUT your response did put things in perspective for me.

So I guess if he wants to argue that I am purposefully not making as much money as I am capable of because I selfishly want to be around my DD as much as I can, for the few years before she goes to school, then I will plead 100 percent guilty and have to manage as I can. Because its worth it.

We managed without him before and will continue to do so, I just thought that he should pay something towards the cost of raising her for the past 2 years, but I guess since I'm a dumb exclusively breastfeeding mother, its not due me.


My parents were kind enough to help me with my unexpected pregnancy and by paying cash we did save alot on the bills. It's not like I planned to spend as much as possible planning for him to reimburse me.

 

[Ohiogal]

I hope I did not come across as complaining that my toddler hasn't weaned. I was just stating thats why I work part time. The WHO and AAP both recommend breastfeeing until at least age 2 and as long thereafter as mutually beneficial and desired by mother and child. (Of course I don't plan to be nursing an 8 year old in public on national tv but..)

That is not the point. Your child not being weaned is no reason for you to only working part time. You could pump and the child would still get the benefits. You should have been working full time long before now since you have a child to support.

It is beautiful to nurse my daughter & while it has not been easy for me NEVER getting a break or night off because she refuses to drink out of a bottle, I am not sorry.

Great except for the fact that legally not mattering. Put it in a cup.

I could go back to work all day and leave her, but I don't want too. It is tough but I want to spend the time with her until she goes to kindergarden.
When I'm gone she cries for me almost everyday before her nap, so I can't bring myself to leave her until I have to.

I want a million dollars and to never work however there are bills to pay. You have bills as well. YOU can't bring yourself to leave her -- which could be contributing to part of her issues.

BUT your response did put things in perspective for me.

So I guess if he wants to argue that I am purposefully not making as much money as I am capable of because I selfishly want to be around my DD as much as I can, for the few years before she goes to school, then I will plead 100 percent guilty and have to manage as I can. Because its worth it.

He has every right to claim that you are purposely underemployed and should be working a full time job with benefits attached. The fact that you are not is a CHOICE. He does NOT have to pay for YOUR choices.

We managed without him before and will continue to do so, I just thought that he should pay something towards the cost of raising her for the past 2 years, but I guess since I'm a dumb exclusively breastfeeding mother, its not due me.

Nice attitude. That has nothing to do with it. But keep trying to put it on the LLL and see how that works for you in court.

My parents were kind enough to help me with my unexpected pregnancy and by paying cash we did save alot on the bills. It's not like I planned to spend as much as possible planning for him to reimburse me.

Did you apply for medicaid during the pregnancy? In the last two years? I know the answer to that -- no you did not. If you had you would have established paternity long ago and not two years after birth.

 

[disturbeddreame]

I bought a pump and fully intended to go back to work immediately. she refused the EBM or the formula.

I'm sorry that you think its in my childsbest interest for me to leave her when she is 2 months old and work from 9-5 so someone else can raise her for the first 3 years of her life.
Her refusing the bottle is what made me stay home for the first 8 months without working. My love for her is what kept me from forcibly weaning her and only going back to work part time.

btw. she has no issues. she is a child that needs her mother, all children do. Not 24/7 but a lot. I try to be there as much as I can.

I am very blessed to have freebabysitting (my mother) but if i wanted to be a complete meanie i suppose I could have gone back to work as soon as she was born and put her in daycare and then he'd owe me for half of the daycare for the past 2 years?

So its your opinion that he owes me nothing?

 

[Ohiogal]

I bought a pump and fully intended to go back to work immediately. she refused the EBM or the formula.

I'm sorry that you think its in my childsbest interest for me to leave her when she is 2 months old and work from 9-5 so someone else can raise her for the first 3 years of her life.
Her refusing the bottle is what made me stay home for the first 8 months without working. My love for her is what kept me from forcibly weaning her and only going back to work part time.

btw. she has no issues. she is a child that needs her mother, all children do. Not 24/7 but a lot. I try to be there as much as I can.

I am very blessed to have freebabysitting (my mother) but if i wanted to be a complete meanie i suppose I could have gone back to work as soon as she was born and put her in daycare and then he'd owe me for half of the daycare for the past 2 years?
So its your opinion that he owes me nothing?

WHERE do you get the idea that he would owe you DAYCARE for the last two years. Seriously. Why do you believe he would owe you for daycare for the last two years before the order? My opinion is you have made choices and he will not be required to subsidize your choices. At most he should pay only 50% of the medical expenses of her birth -- why didn't you apply for medicaid? Why doesn't your child have health insurance? You could have searched for full time work and CHOSE not to. You work part time earning how much?